11/28/2025
This is very true!
Children learn to self-regulate by borrowing our calm — not by being sent away to manage emotions their brains aren’t built to hold, alone.
Their nervous system takes its cues from ours.
When we stay steady, their bodies learn safety.
When we breathe slowly, their breath follows.
When we offer presence instead of punishment, their overwhelm becomes something they can navigate rather than fear.
But the opposite is true too.
When we’re shaken, they feel it.
When we shut down, they lose their anchor.
When we send them away to “figure it out,” we’re asking them to build skills they’re meant to RECEIVE before they can ever create.
A child who is banished in their hardest moments doesn’t learn calm — they learn that big feelings make them unworthy of closeness.
So the work becomes tending to our own regulation, not for perfection, but for companionship. For connection. For the message it sends:
You don’t have to face your storm alone.
Stay close. We’ll steady ourselves together.
And then, slowly, what they borrow from us becomes something they can one day find within themselves. ❤️
Quote Credit: ❣️
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