Amanda Fry, Birth + Postpartum Doula

03/06/2023

“I Won’t Hold Your Baby

…unless you ask me to, in which case, I will snuggle and cuddle your baby as much as you want me to.

I never ask my clients if I can hold their baby. In fact, I rarely ever touch my client’s baby if I can help it. Sounds sort of like the opposite of what you might picture of a doula, right? We must all be birth crazy, baby obsessed women who just want to cover babies in kisses and love and get an emotional high from attending births?

Not this doula.

I LOVE attending births. Call me crazy, but getting those middle of the night calls is one of my favorite parts of this job. I get to listen to someone at their most vulnerable times - the excitement, the hesitation, the nervousness of the unknown. Being able to provide some comfort, reassurance and continuity of care to the people I work with is so important to me (and them!)

Rushing off in the night, quietly getting myself ready, getting in the car and heading off to their home or hospital makes me feel like I’m on a secret birth mission that nobody around me knows about. When I arrive I fall as seamlessly as I can into the rhythm of the birth and start supporting my clients in whatever way they need most.

When the baby arrives I step aside and leave room for the new parents to discover their baby. I try and grab some photos (I’m not a birth photographer though, so keep your expectations in check!) and then I only step in if my client needs me for some reason.

Why does that matter? Why won’t I ask to hold your baby? Simply because: they are yours, not mine. I want you to be able to hold your baby as close as you want, for as long as you want without anyone interrupting that time. There will be enough people coming along in the next few hours and weeks who need to take that baby out of your arms for whatever reason, and tons of friends and family who will offer help by “holding the baby”.

Instead, I want to hold you, whether that’s in my arms, in my heart or my thoughts. By supporting and “holding” you, I don’t need to hold your baby. But if you ask me to, I would LOVE to.”

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02/23/2023

A photo showing droplets of breast milk fending off armies of harmful bacteria in Petri dishes is going viral on Facebook.⁣
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The photo, posted by a biology student in England, features nine Petri dishes completely colonized with the bacteria M. Luteus, except in the center, where tiny puddles of breast milk have created what looks like “moats” of protection around themselves.⁣
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The student, Vicky Green, said she had similar results with Petri dishes full of e.Coli and the dreaded anti-biotic resistant “super bug” MRSA.⁣
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“The white spots in the middle are discs soaked in two samples of breastmilk,” Green wrote in the caption of her post. “See the clear bit around the discs ― that’s where the proteins in the milk have inhibited the bacteria!”⁣
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An article from YourPediatrician.com explains how this is possible:⁣
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“About 80 percent of the cells in breast milk are macrophages, cells that kill bacteria, fungi and viruses. Breast-fed babies are protected, in varying degrees, from a number of illnesses, including pneumonia, botulism, bronchitis, staphylococcal infections, influenza, ear infections, and German measles. Furthermore, mothers produce antibodies to whatever disease is present in their environment, making their milk custom-designed to fight the diseases their babies are exposed to as well.”⁣
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What’s even more impressive is that the samples of milk in the photos came from the mother of a 15-month-old and a 3-year-old, providing further evidence that breast milk continues to protect against illness long beyond infancy.

02/18/2023

02/11/2023

02/09/2023

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Anyone who has tried to submit a review of services, submit a consultation request, or access their contracts - you may have been running into technical difficulties.

I have NOT been able to receive any of these items in the last week or so and I receive no notification that you’re making an attempt to submit anything. I’m not sure why, and I’m working with the platform to get it figured out. In the meantime, if you’ve been trying to contact me or submit anything, please shoot me a text or message so we can get it figured out!

Thanks everyone ❤️❤️

02/06/2023

Everyone always talks about boundaries postpartum, which is super important. But what about while you’re actually in labor?

How many moms can look back on their birth and wish their environment had been a bit different - because they didn’t set expectations?

I’m here to tell you that you are allowed to have the final say in how your labor and birth looks. Not just intervention wise, but environment and atmosphere.

Want your sister there? Yes! Don’t want your mother in-law? Great! Want your husband by your head only while pushing? Cool! Request no personal conversations during active labor? Perfect! Don’t want your phone blowing up with “are they here yet?” messages? I feel you!

Establish these boundaries early. Take some time during your 3rd trimester and write them down. Concisely and firmly. Send them to your family. Designate an “updates” person to avoid those annoying texts. If someone’s presence in your labor is bothering you, tell them to step out (or have someone else do it).

Your birth space is vital. Let’s create an atmosphere and environment conducive with peace and love - however that looks to *you*.

💛

01/24/2023

Imagine starting off your life floating in a tub of warm water, being cradled by your mother as she studies every beautiful detail of your face. Time stops for every person in the room as they marvel over your arrival - everyone has been patiently waiting for you and finally you are here. Still attached to your first home of the placenta, you explore the new boundaries around your body, now seemingly endless. You stretch out your legs and arms for the first time and fill up your fresh new lungs with air. You collect details of your new surroundings, your new life on earth. So far your perception of this world is warmth, still water, your mothers hands and arms, her voice saying “I love you,” dim lights and no sense of urgency. There is plenty of time to transition to this new life. There is love and safety here. You rest in the knowing that you are cared for and you are with your family. Your mother holds you close and gently sways you in the warm water you were born into & you relax deeply, your breathing calm and steady.

Now imagine a whole generation of babies born into this same energy of slowness, love, and safety. 🤍



Beautiful photo by Fill Your Cup Birth + Wellness

01/16/2023

Exactly two years ago today, I woke up at 12:30 am with a stomach ache.
I was 40 weeks + 5 days pregnant and thought there was no end in sight. I got up to use the bathroom, finally feeling better I cuddled up in bed next to my then 1 year old and tried going back to sleep.
Then the contractions started, and they were intense. I laid through two and couldn’t handle them.
I walked back to the bathroom and swayed a bit. I wasn’t quite sure if this was it as I had been experiencing prodromal labor for about a week at this point. I decided to take out my contraction timer & hop in the shower. I figured, if these aren’t real, the shower will soothe me enough to go back to bed.
Well, sure enough, it didn’t work. I got out of the shower and stared at my son thinking about how excited I was to bring him his little brother soon. I figured I had lots of time so I let him and Jesus sleep while I labored peacefully alone. It was at this point that I the contraction app warned me to head to the hospital. My contractions were 5 minutes apart, lasting for 1 full minute. I decided to ignore it as it was only about an hour since they started.
2:30 am rolls around and I’ve been swaying to my music, doing the laundry, loading the dishwasher. The contractions start to intensify some more and I panic a bit because the weather is horrible. I had an hour drive to our hospital but I also didn’t want to labor there long, so I wasn’t sure when to leave. But I had only been in labor about 2 hours.
3:30 am rolls around and the switch flips. The contractions are INTENSE. I’m barely able to speak through them and I’m stuck backwards as I labor on the toilet alone. I decide to call the hospital to let them know I’m coming & call my mom to come over.
I’ll never forget going upstairs to wake up Jesus to tell him I’m in labor and his response was “how do you know”? 😂 (I’m sure he was tired of hearing me *think* I was in labor all week)
*continued in comments*

11/16/2022

One of the most helpful things for the postpartum time period can be having a plan for postpartum visitors, if you've decided to even have visitors at all. Here are some things to think about considering when making decisions about your visitors:

-You are the one choosing who you want in your space. You are not there to be the host during this time. If you decide to invite someone into your space, make sure they will be there to help with your needs, not demand you take care of theirs.

-Feeling stressed out can make postpartum recovery harder. Don't invite someone into your space if they're going to cause you more stress.

-Postpartum brings intense, uncontrollable emotional and physical changes. You need to feel comfortable with whoever you invite into your space seeing that.

-Postpartum recovery is also a time of vulnerability. You might still be bleeding or have sutures. You might be feeling sore and having a hard time moving around easily. You might be trying to do skin to skin and establish breastfeeding. Remember most people don't feel comfortable with a huge crowd witnessing this.

-Don't invite people into your space if you know they will be commenting on your birth or parenting choices. Remember your space is a judgement free zone, and you don't need judgement, especially within the immediate postpartum period when you are feeling the most vulnerable.

And if you've been given the honor to be in a new mom's sacred space, remember to help the mother first and hold the baby second.

09/24/2022

08/16/2022

Did you know a comb can be used during labor?! And no its not for your hair.
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When gripped in your hands, a comb can help hit acupuncture points in your hands.
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It also plays into the gate control pain theory. This theory states that the brain can only focus on a select number of sensations. Because the nerve endings are closer on your hands they reach your brain faster. Helping your body forget about the contractions.
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For those who have asked how to hold it, having the comb hit at the base of the fingers (across the palm of your hand).
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-Reposted from Fox Valley Birth and Baby

Check the comments for pics on how to hold the comb.

07/06/2022

Excited to announce that I’m officially listed on Be Her Village for postpartum support!

Family + friends love to shower you with gifts, food, and all else to welcome your new baby!

But, let’s face it, we forget about how important support is for the fourth trimester.

Between lack of sleep, feedings every 2 hours, bonding with our new family, and all else that comes with having a baby, we tend to leave a lot behind (sometimes that includes our own well-being).

If you’re worried about lack of support or ways to fund it, now you can create a registry for my services online for others to support you!

Check out and let’s set you up for success!

07/06/2022

It's hard to believe we're already booking dates into 2023!

While it's never *too* late to book birth support, you definitely will benefit from having a longer contract when you book early on in pregnancy!

Availability is limited, so be sure to reach out and schedule a free consultation to see if a doula is the right fit for you and your family!

07/06/2022

Your journey to motherhood matters, and your support team should feel that way too.

Soon I’ll be discussing how to hire the *right* doula for you. But, to make it short and sweet; your doula should care about you and your goals. Your wishes should be their wishes.

I am so blessed to have the privilege to walk alongside women on their way to motherhood, whether this is their first experience or their fifth.

I will respect your values, acknowledge your fears and past experiences, uplift and empower you and your strengths, and empathize with you every step along the way.

I’ve longed for a career where I can genuinely feel and care for those near to me, to be unrestricted by corporate policy, to put my heart and soul into work that directly impacts the lives of those I’m helping for years to come.

Thank you to my clients, present and future, for allowing me into your space. I’m grateful each day to know such powerful women and support their families. 💛