Therapy Into Action, Marisa Kallman, Psychotherapist

03/20/2022

Unresolved grief is just one aspect of how COVID-19 has created widespread mental health suffering – a second pandemic, as it were. Particularly affected are children, more than 140,000 of whom have lost a parent or a caregiver.

11/27/2021

This makes good sense!

Psychodrama: The Treatment of Choice for Trauma - Hudson Valley Psychodrama Institute

https://www.hvpi.net/2020/10/23/psychodrama-the-treatment-of-choice-for-trauma/

05/20/2021

02/02/2021

A little kindness goes a long way...

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201502/7-ways-be-kinder-yourself

How to silence your inner critic and gain mental strength.

01/09/2021

Words to live by!

love this

12/30/2020

Are you treating yourself fairly?

12/25/2020

Beautiful words of wisdom...

“How to Belong Be Alone” by Pádraig Ó Tuama is part of our “Poetry Films” series, which features animated interpretations of beloved poems from our archive. ...

12/01/2020

This!

Dear Ones...

When I was battling depression years ago, I made a realization: The most dangerous place in the world for me was lying alone in bed — not sleeping, not reading, but THINKING.

And the most dangerous part of my day was that time period between when I woke up and when I stood up. And the longer I extended that time period — the longer I stayed in bed, captivated by what I came to call “horizontal thinking” — the worse off I would be.

The disease of my depression wanted me to stay horizontal for as long as possible, where it had me hostage. Once the thinking began, then the brooding would begin. And once the brooding began, well — then I was truly in trouble. Because then came the worst movie ever made: all those images of anxiety, shame, despair, regret, unworthiness, past failures and future catastrophes. And once that movie took me hostage, the challenge of standing up became even more difficult, and my day was already ruined.

Somewhere in my recovery from depression, I was able to create an iron-bound rule for myself. There are only three things I am allowed to do in bed: sleep, read, or (if I’m lucky) make out with someone. (Yes, I said “make out.” I’m in 8th Grade. ) But what I CANNOT do in bed, if I want to survive the treacherous crevasses of my own mind, is THINK. And if I stay there too long — horizontal and captivated by my own deadly imagination — I’m doomed. I created a script to say to my mind: “If you are awake enough to tell me that I am history’s biggest piece of s**t, then you are awake enough to start the day.” That empowered me to stand up. And sometimes, standing up is the biggest victory of all.

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but here it is: If you are physically able, get up now.

Nothing good will ever come to you from horizontal thinking. Don’t let your mind win its most brutal game. You deserve better.

Get vertical. Move your mind to a higher altitude, where the view is better.

You can do this.

I love you very much.

Onward ❤️LG

10/18/2020

Yes!

09/03/2020

Makes good sense.

09/01/2020

Lovely!

Sharing my thoughts on love, and why unfollows and comments like, "Shut up and stick to your research" won't keep me from pressing on with purpose.
You can read more here: https://bit.ly/31M8QZv

07/16/2020

Very interesting article!

The minute we make any decision—I think COVID-19 is serious; no, I’m sure it is a hoax—we begin to justify the wisdom of our choice and find reasons to dismiss the alternative.

07/10/2020

I’m still searching for my partner to give me what my mother could not. I’m still quick to frustration when I don’t feel heard or considered. My ego is still quick to assign meaning to her behaviors, so that I can feel just like I did as a child: alone + misunderstood.

Most of us have experienced some type of emotional abandonment without being aware of it. We may have had supportive parents, who were there physically, but there isn’t an authentic emotional connection. Because our parents were disconnected from self, they were unable to truly see us, to hear us. Or, to allow us to express ourselves without projecting the ideas of who they believe we are to be.

The core of emotional abandonment is a feeling that no one gets us.

This is the wound we carry as adults. This is why we desperately search for partners who will finally give us what our parents could not.

This is why so many relationships end: we place massive pressure on people to give us something they were never meant to give.

Healing is the act of becoming consciously aware. There’s no shame in wanting what we desperately needed as children. The more aware we are, the more we can become aware of the inner child + how that inner child is always searching for love + acceptance.

Then, we can do the work daily to practicing giving this to self

07/01/2020

Anxiety and anger...

Anger can be useful—but it’s important to channel it strategically rather than let it consume you. Here’s how.

06/21/2020

Fathers...

The father wound is a collective wound we carry. It’s been inherited from generation to generation.

Our fathers are humans. Humans with their own unresolved trauma. This trauma is projected onto children. As children, we begin to internalize the voice of our father (or, if a father is not present we internalize the voices around us about who he is or was.)

When we have a father who cannot emotionally connect (share emotional states without judgment or control), a father who cannot regulate their emotions (engages in yelling, berating, or shutting down), or a father who comes through escapism (addiction, disappearing/avoidance, or through side relationships) we internalize this to mean something about who WE are.

As children, we are in an ego-centric state. This period of ego development means we do not have a full concept of who we are. During this stage, we believe everything happens TO us BECAUSE of us. So, if we have a father who is unpredictable, abusive, resentful, or abandons is, we internalize the belief that we caused his behavior. We do not have the ego development to see him as a human. A human with his own trauma + issues that drive his behavior. Our core belief becomes: something is wrong/unlovable within me.

His behavior becomes personal, and until we do work to develop our ego + become more conscious, we will spend our lifetime performing— desperate to gain the connection we never got from him in nearly everyone we meet. This is why when we don’t get this connection it’s so deeply painful— we are experiencing childhood wounding in the present.

As we do the work to view our patterns + behavior, we begin to heal. As we heal, we alchemize the pain projected onto us that was never meant for us to carry