06/10/2025
Our hygienist, Lee, was wondering if aliens had teeth.
We asked AI.
The short answer is: we have no scientific evidence that aliens exist, let alone what their anatomy is like - including whether or not they have teeth.
If we assume alien life evolved under conditions similar to Earth, and if they consume solid food, then it's plausible they might have some kind of tooth-like structures for breaking it down - though they could look wildly different from our teeth. Think: beaks, grinding plates, crystal-like enamel, or even regenerating rows of fangs like sharks.
On the flip side, if they consume nutrients in liquid form, photosynthesize, or absorb energy through their skin or goo membrane or something...no teeth necessary.
So, do aliens have teeth? Maybe.
Are they overdue for a cleaning? Almost definitely.
If your last cleaning was lightyears ago, it’s time to phone home (aka our front desk) and schedule that appointment.
