11/15/2021
One of our family's commitments to each other is that we will listen and respect when someone puts up a boundary. We feel this teaches children early how to give and receive a 'no' more confidently. It also reinforces that their experiences and the experiences of others matter.
This can look like respecting a boundary when they:
🤚🏾have had enough to eat
🤚🏾can’t take anymore tickles
🤚🏾don’t like that song anymore
🤚🏾are finished playing that sport
🤚🏾don’t like to wear those anymore
🤚🏾aren’t in the mood for touch
🤚🏾are feeling pain while their hair’s being fixed
🤚🏾don’t like that nickname used any longer
🤚🏾aren’t wanting a hug or kiss
🤚🏾want to give it a try on their own
It wasn't this way for me growing up. I remember being tickled, taunted by my sibling, and encouraged to eat past my full without regard to my 'no' or 'stop.' I, in turn, engaged in behaviors like this with others as opportunities to regain a sense of power at times and because I didn’t have an example to learn from of respect for boundaries. As a result, it took me years of work and self-discovery to gain a confidence asserting and respecting boundaries and consent.
The awesome thing is that we have the power to influence different opportunities for the children in our lives. How we react to their boundaries will lay the foundation for how they interpret the power of their voice and autonomy. The more they practice these skills at home, around people they trust, the more comfortable they will become when communicating with others in life and relationships.
💭How does your family handle boundary setting and consent?
