Seattle Women's Counseling

12/11/2024

Helpful to know…

This Thanksgiving, let’s embrace the 5:1 magic ratio from the Gottman Institute. For every moment of tension or conflict, aim for five positive interactions. Whether it’s sharing a laugh, expressing gratitude, or simply being present, these positive moments strengthen the bonds that make our relationships last.

12/11/2024

01/11/2024

Prayers for peace… 🙏🏽❤️

Subscribe: https://bit.ly/3SrlO7vYaelYTBuy: https://yaeldeckelbaum.bandcamp.com/track/prayer-of-the-mothersOfficial Music Video Yael Deckelbaum - Prayer Of T...

08/17/2023

Relatable? 😝

04/19/2023

“It is easy to mourn the lives we aren't living. Easy to wish we'd developed other talents, said yes to different offers. Easy to wish we'd worked harder, loved better, handled our finances more astutely, been more popular, stayed in the band, gone to Australia, said yes to the coffee or done more bloody yoga.
It takes no effort to miss the friends we didn't make and the work we didn't do the people we didn't do and the people we didn't marry and the children we didn't have. It is not difficult to see yourself through the lens of other people, and to wish you were all the different kaleidoscopic versions of you they wanted you to be. It is easy to regret, and keep regretting, ad infinitum, until our time runs out.
But it is not lives we regret not living that are the real problem. It is the regret itself. It's the regret that makes us shrivel and wither and feel like our own and other people's worst enemy.
We can't tell if any of those other versions would have been better or worse. Those lives are happening, it is true, but you are happening as well, and that is the happening we have to focus on.”
Matt Haig - The Midnight Library, 2020.

Grant Haffner - Into the night, 1978.

01/11/2023

❤️

IT’S STILL POSSIBLE

It’s still possible to fully understand
you have always been the place
where the miracle has happened:
that you have been since your birth,
the bread given and the wine lifted,
the change witnessed and the change itself,
that you have secretly been, all along,
a goodness that can continue
to be a goodness to itself.

It’s still possible in the end
to realize why you are here
and why you have endured,
and why you might have suffered
so much, so that in the end,
you could witness love, miraculously
arriving from nowhere, crossing
bravely as it does, out of darkness,
from that great and spacious stillness
inside you, to the simple,
light-filled life of being said.

…

Excerpt From STILL POSSIBLE
in ‘Still Possible’
Many Rivers Press Jan 1st 2022
…

Last Rainbow Before The Night
Photo © David Whyte
Pacific Northwest
January 21st 2018
..

After writing these lines out the deep entrainment that occurs at those hidden internal frontiers where all good poetry is written, I thought to myself that It might be one of the great secrets of life to learn: 'how to be a goodness that can continue to be a goodness to itself.' DW

12/29/2022

❤️

THE WINTER OF LISTENING

No one but me by the fire,
my hands burning
red in the palms while
the night wind carries
everything away outside.

All this petty worry
while the great cloak
of the sky grows dark
and intense
round every living thing.

All this trying
to know
who we are
and all this
wanting to know
exactly
what we must do.

What is precious
inside us does not
care to be known
by the mind
in ways that diminish
its presence.

What we strive for
in perfection
is not what turns us
to the lit angel
we desire.

What disturbs
and then nourishes
has everything
we need.

What we hate
in ourselves
is what we cannot know
in ourselves but
what is true
to the pattern
does not need
to be explained.

Inside everyone
is a great shout of joy
waiting to be born…

And
here
in the tumult
of the night
I hear the walnut
above the child’s swing
swaying
its dark limbs
in the wind
and the snow now
come to
beat against my window
and somewhere
in this cold night
of wind and stars
the first whispered
opening of
those hidden
and invisible springs
that uncoil
in the still summer air
each yet
to be imagined
rose.

…

From ‘The Winter of Listening’
David Whyte : Essentials
Many Rivers Press 2019

…

Winter Walk
Photo © David Whyte
Cassey Compton, Cotswolds.
February 3rd 2019
..

A solstice poem for turning toward the light in a very dark winter indeed. It is painful to think of how much individual loneliness permeates our societies at the best of times and all the more of a heartache to think of those whose loneliness is magnified by the isolation. One third of all adults in western societies now live alone. In Japan the percentage is even higher. Many are forced into this winter of inner listening, rather than it being a blessing of the contemplative life, when all they want to hear is the proximity of a friend's voice or simply a loved one moving about the place, doing what loved ones do. A holiday blessing then, for all those in difficulty at the moment, and an encouragement to find that shout of joy, waiting for the springtime in all of us. DW

12/27/2022

Yes…

12/09/2022

Spoken word on "Perfectionism"...

Perfectionism can only get you so far. With this beautiful piece of spoken word, this student is taking back the reins. --Every year at Suzu Kitamura's forme...

10/25/2022

Great podcast by George Faller and Laurie Watson!

Attention Couples Therapists, you're going to want to listen to this episode! https://bit.ly/3zoujIr Laurie and George role play a therapy session to help understand the world of the emotional withdrawer in the sexual cycle. Emotional withdrawers want to remain positive to support the relationship but when the emotional heat turns up they often turn away. If you are having difficulty engaging a withdrawer in the emotional cycle we encourage you to PIVOT! We find that withdrawers often flip to become pursuers in the sexual cycle. If therapists avoid naming the pain that lies in the sexual disconnection they may miss an opportunity to help them share their vulnerability with their partner. We focus on creating ALOT of safety for both partners and deeply honoring the defense systems that have been created to manage pain. While we know this episode will help the therapists in our community, partners will also benefit! We are helping to get safety in the sexual cycle so you can keep it hot 🔥! Link in bio

09/27/2022

❤️

Chronic pain used
to bother me a lot

Then one day instead of
trying to grin and bear it
or just simply feel miserable

I focused my Awareness
deeply within the pain itself

I examined the feeling of pain

I talked to the pain directly

I immersed my full Awareness
directly within the pain area

An amazing thing occurred

Pain took on a new meaning

It was no longer bothersome

Instead it was just another
feeling that my Awareness
knew and acknowledged

I gave it attention but no
more than any other
bodily sensation

I went beyond pain, to the
joyous ecstasy of being alive

I also realized that
helping others took my
mind off my own pain

This brought me
beyond my pain,
as I empathized
with others while
sharing their pain

Then I came across this
enlightening wisdom
from one of my all time
favorite writers ~

Gibran Khalil Gibran
(1883-1931)

~ Khalil Gibran
.