Mia Fine Therapy, PLLC

04/10/2025

A few of my favorite book recommendations, as a s-x therapist. These books explore love, relationships, and self-discovery, offering unique insights into intimacy, communication, and personal growth.

✨Monsters in Love by Resmaa Menakem reveals how trauma, nervous systems, and cultural conditioning shape relationships. Embrace the messy, beautiful reality of love and improve communication with a somatic approach to conflict.

✨Polyamory by Martha Kauppi is geared towards therapists but great for all! It dives into the joys and challenges of non-monogamy, offering practical advice for managing jealousy, setting boundaries, and navigating multiple loving connections.

✨ADHD After Dark by Ari Tuckman tackles intimacy in ADHD-impacted relationships. Get tips for managing distractions, mismatched libidos, and improving communication for a stronger bond.

✨What Fresh Hell Is This? by Heather Corinna blends humor with practical advice for surviving perimenopause and menopause, as hormonal changes impact mental, physical, and emotional well-being.

✨Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab teaches you how to set healthy boundaries without guilt, helping you protect your time, energy, and connection to yourself.

These books are fantastic guides to navigating love, relationships, and personal growth, covering everything from unconventional attractions to handling life’s big changes as well as possible. Whether you’re exploring intimacy, embracing self-love, or leveling up your connections, these reads have the real talk and practical tips to help you thrive.

04/09/2025

Think of bad s-x as your body’s diagnostic tool; it’s a red flag telling you that something in your environment, connection, or communication might need a tweak. It’s not a failure; it’s feedback.

Safety Equals Pleasure: Neuroscience confirms that our experience of pleasure is closely linked to feeling safe and connected. If things aren’t clicking and they once were, explore what’s missing. Better communication, a shift in context?

The science of neuroplasticity means you can reshape your intimate experiences. By tuning into your body’s signals and experimenting with what works for you, you’re literally redesigning your pleasure map and rewiring your reality.

S-xual satisfaction isn’t a one-size-fits-all scenario. What works for one person might not work for another, and that diversity is exactly what makes our intimate lives dynamic and customizable.

And, bad s-x kills desire. Yeah, I said it. If s*x has been unsatisfying, painful, obligatory, or emotionally disconnected, why would you want it? Your body’s “no thanks” might actually be self-protection, not dysfunction.

Consider these questions to reframe “bad s-x” as a signal rather than a disorder:

Could the quality of my current s-x life be a cue to explore what’s missing or misaligned in my intimate life?

How might my emotional state or sense of safety be influencing my s-xual experience?

What is the feedback from an unsatisfying encounter telling me about my needs (individually and/or relationally) or desires?

Are my expectations shaped by outdated ideas of what s-x “should” be? How might redefining them open new possibilities?

In what ways can a challenging s-xual experience serve as an opportunity to learn and redesign my pleasure map?

Your intimate life is a journey, not a destination. You get to use every signal, even those labeled “bad s-x,” as a guide to explore what truly lights you up.

Embrace your unique blueprint by leaning on science, communication, and self-awareness to design an exciting, fulfilling, and connective s-x life.

Remember that your path to satisfying intimacy is yours to create - no judgments, just endless possibilities.

04/07/2025

Our team had an incredible time at the Seattle Fe**sh Ball! It’s an amazing space to celebrate joyful diversity and the artistic expression of s-xuality. 10/10 recommend! Thank you to all the hands and creative minds that put this event together. It was amazing.

02/06/2025

Your nervous system is designed to protect you. When faced with harm, instability, or unsafe environments, we don’t consciously choose to suppress emotions, cross our own boundaries, or ignore discomfort - these are automatic, learned survival responses. They’ve served their purpose in keeping us safe… until they no longer serve our well-being.

Research in trauma psychology shows that the brain prioritizes survival over self-awareness. The nervous system instinctively dampens emotions, disconnects from bodily sensations, and overrides boundaries because, at some point, these responses were necessary for safety and survival.

If these responses remain unaddressed, they can obstruct our ability to reconnect with our authentic self, limiting our capacity to access universal needs, wants, pleasure, and intuition. Neglecting our needs can lead to trauma, but not always - we build resilience by learning to meet our needs in new, adaptive ways over time.

Rebuilding self-trust involves reconnecting with your authentic self whether that means pausing to tune into your body’s signals, acknowledging emotions rather than suppressing them, and consistently practicing small moments of self-awareness that support healing and integration.

Your body and mind are not broken - they’ve been protecting you in the best ways they knew how. Healing is about learning to listen again.

With new awareness integrated into your nervous system, you no longer need to rely on old survival patterns. This is how we reconnect with our capacity to thrive.

01/07/2025

Every day, in partnership (and in all of our relationships), we make ‘bids for connection’—small invitations for intimacy, understanding, and love.

Bids can be a smile, a question, sweet touch—they’re the simple (and sometimes complex) ways we reach out to connect.

Both initiating these bids and responding to our partner’s bids shape the depth and closeness of our relationships.

Sometimes, our bids might not be super clear, and they can be missed. When that happens, try lovingly clarifying: ‘Hey love, that was a bid.’ This gentle reminder strengthens communication and deepens your connection. 💞✨

11/20/2024

As we navigate the weight of this election season, many of us—especially those in marginalized communities—are carrying a lot. The uncertainty, the stakes, and the sheer emotional load can feel overwhelming.

Take a moment to honor where you are today. Rest when you need to rest. Breathe when it feels too heavy. Give yourself grace as you process. Lean into your community.

Your well-being matters and showing up for yourself is as important as showing up for change 💛

11/05/2024

Understanding shared language is key to creating a safe, informed, and consensual kink experience; it helps everyone involved in a scene (or a relationship) communicate needs, establish boundaries, and respect each other’s limits.

Whether you’re new or experienced in kink, learning how each person defines these concepts can foster trust and make play an enjoyable, empowering, pleasurable experience. Remember, knowledge and effective communication are essential parts of consent.

11/02/2024

✨ returned to Seattle and once again blew us away✨

Courageous, vulnerable souls took stage to share personal stories about s*x, identity, and relationships. I was deeply moved by the joy, grief, and humor of each story.

Whether in therapy or in community, storytelling is a powerful force for healing ❤️

01/20/2022

They tell us to 'be ourselves' but if you listen closely there's more to that sentence...'until you make them uncomfortable' - Alok Vaid-Menon, Beyond the Gender Binary

Art by

04/17/2019

Come join me this Thursday at the Lovers store in Puyallup. I'm hosting my quarterly workshop on Or***ms! 7:30pm

Education with a side of excitement! 😉

01/02/2019

09/09/2018

"Learning how to negotiate consensual s*x will make all of us better, kinder, more creative, and more collaborative people. Not to mention more fun in bed! To get there, we just have to change the s*xual culture we live in. Starting with ourselves"

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/s*x-consent-laws-yes-means-yes-jaclyn-friedman?utm_source=email&utm_medium=editorial&utm_content=control_passive_disengaged&utm_campaign=180909-s*x-consent-laws-yes-means-yes-jaclyn-friedman

A decade after Jaclyn Friedman co-edited the seminal book "Yes Means Yes," which redefined consent, she writes why we must move past simple codification.