04/25/2024
This is 39.
Look beyond the exterior. Look inside the image. And you will see my heart. My playfulness. My presence. My courage. Keep looking and you will see my questions. My not-knowing. My neuroses. My work-in-progress-ness. humanity. And the incredible mystery that lives inside me, which is the same that lives inside all beings.
This body has been one of the biggest traps, and, one of the biggest sources of enjoyment and vehicles for transformation in my whole life. Assume nothing from what you see on the outside.
What you are witnessing in these photos is a woman who is, more and more, enjoying herself. More and more, believing in her own power. More and more, trusting her intuition and life. Her once-sharp & guarded exterior has been softened and opened through heartbreak and love and the many tears that come with both.
Looking at the last few years, on the outside my life looks the same, but everything feels different inside. Warmer, gentler, softer, more sensitive, more assured, and yet existing in the questions. I laugh and play more easily, anxiety wanes more quickly. My heart is awake. Ask me what I have been building these last years, and I will tell you: my inner queendom. You can't see it, but you will feel it by my presence.
I am deeply grateful for all the people who have brought me lessons in love and heartache over the years, and those who have tended to me with their potent medicine: Mom, Dad, Steph, Scott, Todd, Alicia, Nini, Angela, Ash, Katherine, Erica, Kacie, Rachel, Betsy, Rob, Antonia, Chad, Deanna, Kellie, Kes, Faith, and many more.
In all of this, I have arrived nowhere solid, except in more compassionate & accepting relationship to myself and my life. The juicy connection to internal power will be eclipsed by self-doubt; may I meet that with a tender heart until I can feel the radiance of my power once again.
**us