The Terminal Hippie

10/22/2025

Two things. I want to thank all of you for being my safe space on here. And if you were able to make dinner for yourself/family…be thankful. What’s a chore to some people, others wish they could do as easily. I was having another hard pain day yesterday. I wanted to complain on here for the millionth time about how sick i am of everything being so hard. How I had to take breaks and sit down, breathing through the pain. And when I made it to the second half where i could sit for most of it, I cried in relief. I don’t know if this other pain in my legs is neuropathy or something else but I’m going to talk to the doctor about it. Ever since the Clinical Trial I’ve never been back to normal. Cant stay standing for long. what’s just dinner to some people is literally a labor of love for me to do every day, and those enchiladas and Mexican rice were amazing but such a small thing shouldn’t be this hard.

I think the single most exhausting thing that gets depressing…is my limitations. My frustrations with my own body. Watching others do tasks so easily and quickly and you take a ridiculous amount of time, or it’s impossible. I just want to be able to run around like a normal person. Get stuff done like a normal person. Get out of this bed more. It’s depressing, fighting my own body everyday. I wish it wasnt. I just want normal people problems.

10/16/2025

“good health is like a crown that only the healthy wear, but only the sick can see” I love this quote. So relatable.

10/14/2025

💪💪💪

10/12/2025

Trying to have fun in this life while my body fights me and punishes me after is sure fun. Please keep some of this in mind if you may not have experience with invisible or chronic illness because we can look fine and not be fine on the inside. We can put a smile on our face and be at a 15 on a pain scale one to 10.

10/05/2025

Best accidental purchase ever 😆💕

10/02/2025

I’m surprisingly not too involved with “pinktober”. For one, so many companies sell products without actually helping the cancer patients…which usually contain cancer causing chemicals themselves. AND my cancer is NOT pink. It is teal, green, and pink specifically for stage 4 breast cancer. The only one that kills. Metavivor is a great nonprofit to donate to, to help the SMALL percentage of research for stage 4 breast cancer, the only kind that kills.

10/01/2025

This is a video where I shaved my head this last time and got to put on a beautiful new wig. Thanks to Chelsey Smith Crowns. Google them and look for the “hair for you” program on the website! I wanted to share this video on here for my fellow breast cancer fighters or anyone with hair issues… This company has beautiful wigs at a great price but not only that they have a program that helps women going through cancer and hair loss issues with a free wig! You just have to apply and if there’s too many applications in a month, you can reapply the next month! Feel free to share this for anyone battling cancer or hair loss issues. A wig can make a big difference in someone’s day when dealing with hair loss. I’m still not used to looking at myself with hair! What do you guys think of the wig?

10/01/2025

I feel like I’ve moved on to a beautiful new mindset on my reality with the cancer. For so long I’ve been mourning my life to the point I couldn’t live and be present fully sometimes. Obsessing over when ill die. But ever since my leg got better, I’ve decided I’m TRULY going to live. Not be scared of living. Not waiting in bed for something to happen. And while we have money to go nowhere my soul craves, I will find happiness in getting up each day and finding purpose. Getting up and accomplishing. I’m not letting this cancer control me anymore. I know bad days will come, but I’m going to enjoy the ones until then. I feel more brave and proud of myself now than I ever have, I think.

09/30/2025

Some of you all may recall me complaining about my thin hair from treatment this summer… Well, I ended up shaving it anyways! And I wish I would’ve done it a long time ago because I feel so free and so much better!

09/24/2025

God is SO good! Yesterday my arm and leg that got radiated were in so much pain, I wake up today and the inflammation has gone down, the pain is gone. It shouldn’t be, but it is. If there was anyone besides me, praying for me… I really owe you! I still have my normal pain all over but to tell you, how excited I am just to walk for the first time in months without pain… it’s going to take some adjusting! lol looks like it’ll be easier for me to get out of the house pretty much since moving 🙏💕

09/18/2025

09/17/2025

Social media will literally hide your post or bury it so it hardly gets any attention if you talk about natural treatment or natural with the word cancer involved and I just don’t get it! I know people have tried natural without doing enough research and it didn’t end well, but that doesn’t mean that The natural treatments don’t work. Just take me for an example 🙃 I would love to see this changed online!