The Center for Christian Counseling and Care, PLLC

The Center for Christian Counseling and Care, PLLC The Center for Christian Counseling and Care, PLLC offers a variety of mental health related service

We are grateful for all the Veterans who proudly served our great country and we are honored and privileged to serve the...
11/11/2024

We are grateful for all the Veterans who proudly served our great country and we are honored and privileged to serve them here at the Center for Christian Clunseling and Care. Here’s one small way we can say “Thank You” to our many Veterans on this day!

04/29/2024

4/29) From your responses last week, it appears we’ve all been a part of relationships that struggle with trust and safety in marriage at times. From having unrealistic expectations or constantly having the same arguments to a spouse who doesn’t listen to you or having to compete over who’s had a harder day, marriage without trust and safety leads to an emotional disconnection that makes life so much harder than it has to be!

When trust and safety fill the space between us, we have incredible grace for each other and hurtful words and actions have significantly less of an impact if any at all. That’s because we understand the place in each other where those words and actions originate and we can emotionally move toward our spouse to comfort them.

But when trust and safety begin to fade, those same hurtful words and actions push us further away from our spouses thereby creating a loneliness we weren’t designed to feel. The hurtful words leads to loneliness which leads to panic which leads to being more guarded which leads to more hurtful words and around we go again.

This “cycle” destroys trust and safety and we both participate without knowing how to step out of it. We think we’re stepping out of it or stopping it altogether, but in reality, we’re perpetuating it and the marriage books or advice doesn’t help. Most of the time, therapy doesn’t even help! How frustrating and hopeless marriage becomes…

Do you want to stop the slow erosion? You need to understand Genesis 2:18 and Ephesians 6:12! Because it’s not good for us to be alone (Gen 2:18), we “fight,” only we fight the wrong person. We’re fighting an enemy we can’t see (Eph 6:12).

02/12/2024

2/12) So how do we as couples go from seeing the good in the other to seeing the other as our enemy? From being confident around the other to being insecure? From looking forward to coming home to dreading it? And from having the feelings of love and connection to having thoughts of divorce? Most couples can’t understand this digression and can’t see the real enemy at work in it.

I hope to this point you’re beginning to see how your arguments devolve into the same old negative patterns and how what you do in those patterns repeats itself again and again. I also hope you’re beginning to understand how these negative patterns create a lack of trust, safety, and connection in your relationship. The lack of those crucial components is the outcome of the Enemy’s work to divide you from the other. Think of it this way…”The more I get angry, the more my spouse shuts down and the more they shut down, the more angry I get.” In order to get out of this destructive pattern, you must understand your part in it.

Ask your spouse…”What do I do in our arguments that makes you do ___________? (in the blank is what tells you they don’t get/understand you and to what you are most reactive)

01/22/2024

1/22) Since God designed us to be attached to our spouses, the hard-wired “threat-response” system He gave us sounds off when we need connection. Once this alarm system is activated, it sets off a string of events that happen at lightning-speed within each of us. It’s so fast, most people are never aware of it.

Have you ever been dancing around with your air pods in? Others see you dancing, but they don’t hear the music. There’s something happening they don’t hear, but only see. That’s what the feeling of loneliness is doing to us! We feel it so we “dance!” It’s just that our “dancing” looks like anger or criticism or accusation so our spouses can’t come to us and comfort us or connect with us because they’ve been put in a place to defend themselves leaving us feeling even more alone. So of course, we naturally blame them even more creating a destructive cycle…all while the Enemy laughs at us on the way to the courthouse to file for divorce.

Why can’t we simply ask for our spouses to comfort and connect with us? What makes that difficult?

01/15/2024

1/15) The Lord must have believed He had achieved His purpose because He caused Adam to fall asleep and took a rib from him to create Eve. When Adam woke up, he said "This at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." (Gen. 2:23). Needless to say, he was ecstatic as finally he had one that looked like him!!

From one came two to return to one. This deep connection is God's design and our desire as husbands and wives and when we don’t have this, it’s traumatizing to us. This is why we get angry or find substitutes to fill the gap of disconnection. If you’re reading this as, “so my spouse gets angry (or shuts down or other unhealthy means of coping) because he/she is disconnected from me?,” you are correct. They get angry (or shut down, etc.) because they have no idea how to express this need to you.

What’s it like to be on the receiving end of anger or to be shut out?

01/08/2024

1/8) To unpack this divine design better, we first need to understand why He designed us to be connected. To start, God created Adam alone and drove that point home by giving him the task of naming all the animals. I believe God did this to help Adam understand his loneliness and his need for a helper.

Also, I think he was excited initially to do this work for the Lord, but as time went on, I think he began to understand two powerful truths. The first being, all those animals had a mate and the second being, none of them looked like him (Gen.2:20).

God did not want us to be alone as we go through this life of joys and sorrows, so He instilled within us an internal need for a deep and intimate connection with our spouse.

What happens to us when this need is not met? (Hint…in children, they cry. In adults, they___)

03/14/2023

Remove mental health from the Health Information Exchange mandate.

03/14/2023

If you or your family or friends ever expect to need mental health treatment in OK, effective July 1, 2023 the fact that you or they are receiving those services will be shared in a statewide Health Information Exchange (HIE) as all mental health providers are being required to sign up and submit this data. So your physical therapist and chiropractor and dentist will know any diagnosis you have along with of course your medical doctor.

Mental health providers dedicate our/their lives to protect client confidentiality which then creates safety for the client to share traumas and try to heal. if they can’t share this info out of fear of others knowing, they will not seek help.

We all need to be calling our Senators and Representatives and tell them to exclude mental health providers from this law by changing the language in House Bill 1688. Rep Marcus McEntire from Duncan and Senator John Haste from Broken Arrow are the bill’s authors, but we need all our lawmakers to know this: The HIE will effectively kill mental health services in the state of Oklahoma and force me and many of my colleagues out of business thus making a state in desperate need of more therapists with even fewer.

Shane Jett (405)521-5539
Dell Kerbs (405) 557-7345
Marcus McEntire (405) 557-7327
John Haste (405)521-5602

08/09/2021

We at CCCC have officially welcomed Dena Payn, MA, LPC, CSAT and Mitchell DeShazer, MS, LMFT to our clinic (you can read their bio's on our website - shawneecounseling.com). It's been a tremendously busy 18 months for all of us and we needed to expand in order to try and keep up with the demand for mental health services as the pandemic has impacted everyone in one way or another. We are excited to have these two fabulous people and excellent therapists on our staff. We also added Lindsey Sanders to our office staff to help share the workload in our office.

01/15/2019

Happy Tuesday! Do you want to improve your relationship today? Do this: (O.U.C.H.)

OWN - take ownership for your words and actions.
UNDERSTAND - understand the impact of your words and actions.
COMMIT - Commit to changing those words and actions in order to protect others from being hurt (the effect is you taking responsibility for their emotional safety in your presence).
HUMILITY - To do these, it takes humility.

So although it may be uncomfortable, like a vaccination, it ultimately prevents something worse from occurring.

Address

1 W 10th Street
Shawnee, OK
74801

Opening Hours

Monday 8am - 9pm
Tuesday 8am - 9pm
Wednesday 8am - 9pm
Thursday 8am - 6pm
Friday 8am - 5pm

Telephone

+14052752222

Website

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