04/29/2024
4/29) From your responses last week, it appears we’ve all been a part of relationships that struggle with trust and safety in marriage at times. From having unrealistic expectations or constantly having the same arguments to a spouse who doesn’t listen to you or having to compete over who’s had a harder day, marriage without trust and safety leads to an emotional disconnection that makes life so much harder than it has to be!
When trust and safety fill the space between us, we have incredible grace for each other and hurtful words and actions have significantly less of an impact if any at all. That’s because we understand the place in each other where those words and actions originate and we can emotionally move toward our spouse to comfort them.
But when trust and safety begin to fade, those same hurtful words and actions push us further away from our spouses thereby creating a loneliness we weren’t designed to feel. The hurtful words leads to loneliness which leads to panic which leads to being more guarded which leads to more hurtful words and around we go again.
This “cycle” destroys trust and safety and we both participate without knowing how to step out of it. We think we’re stepping out of it or stopping it altogether, but in reality, we’re perpetuating it and the marriage books or advice doesn’t help. Most of the time, therapy doesn’t even help! How frustrating and hopeless marriage becomes…
Do you want to stop the slow erosion? You need to understand Genesis 2:18 and Ephesians 6:12! Because it’s not good for us to be alone (Gen 2:18), we “fight,” only we fight the wrong person. We’re fighting an enemy we can’t see (Eph 6:12).
