12/10/2025
We talk a lot about independence in intellectual disability services. Itβs become a kind of gold standard, something people are expected to strive toward, something systems are designed to measure, reward, and chase. But in that chase, we sometimes forget that independence is not the only marker of a full and meaningful life. In fact, for many people with profound and complex disabilities, it may not even be the most relevant one.
Because real life, the everyday, moment-to-moment life doesnβt always show up in big milestones. It shows up in a shared smile across a room, a spark of recognition, a hand reaching out for comfort, a moment of laughter that fills the space between two people.
When we value these moments, we begin to see people differently. We start to notice their presence, their impact, the way they lift us with a glance or ground us with their calm. We stop measuring worth by what someone can do alone. And in doing so, weβre reminded that humanity isnβt defined by independence, but by relationships and the everyday ways we connect with one another.
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ID: Image shows text: Society's expectation of success: Drawing shows a person with profound and complex disabilities sat in wheelchair next to a big trophy that reads "100% Independent Living Champion"
Image shows text: Reality of success: One shared moment of eye contact and a smile. Drawing shows the same person with profound and complex disabilities smiling at their support person. Support person is overjoyed with arms in the air smiling.