Couples Communication Institute with Dr. Sarah Salzman

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Couples Communication Institute with Dr. Sarah Salzman

Rekindle your relationship with loving, effective, connected communication. I understand how that feels. I want to help you rekindle your relationship.

From the moment your relationship with your partner began you imagined joyfully building your life with your best friend, laughing over inside jokes at dinnertime before an evening of intimacy, and long happy days of just being together. But what happens when the years go by and instead of getting closer you disconnect, disengage, and you feel helpless because you just don’t know how to rekindle y

our relationship? Nobody should have to feel stuck and scared, not knowing how to even communicate with each other. You want to know the path forward to the closeness and intimacy. I’m Dr. Sarah Salzman, the Founder and CEO of the Couples Communication Institute. I’ve spent the last thirty years teaching hundreds of couples simple and effective communication tools that empower them to rekindle their relationship, and the Couples Communication Institute can help you, too. You’re in the right place.

01/15/2025

🎉 Get ready to unlock your extraordinary second act! 🎉

Join us for the Second Act Love Livestream from January 14-16. This isn't just another virtual event—it's a live, interactive experience with over 25 experts ready to guide you on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

From attracting the love you deserve with Shakti Bottazzi to reclaiming your sexual confidence with Tarisha Tourock, we've got a lineup that covers every aspect of love, health, and wellness in midlife. And I'll be presenting too!

Plus, our live chat box will be open for you to engage with our experts in real time. And did we mention the wealth of free gifts from our presenters?

Don't miss this opportunity to revitalize your life. Sign up now!

Midlifeloveoutloud.com/secondact

04/19/2024

Have you ever felt like you’re just a bystander in a conversation, rather than an active participant?

Sometimes, it’s as if words are being thrown in your direction, without any consideration for your thoughts or feelings.

Communication that you didn’t sign up for can leave you feeling overwhelmed and unseen, like being caught in someone else’s whirlwind.

In these moments, it’s necessary to recognize the importance of respect and consent in communication. Connection can only thrive when both parties are willing participants.

When you’re speaking, create spaces where everyone feels heard, respected, and included. When you’re listening, you can let the other person know you feel left out… and you can also leave!

The New Yorker - Long Island by Nicole Krauss May 15, 2023

04/16/2024

Avoiding conflicts in relationships can create distance between partners. Whether it's you, your partner, or both of you who tend to avoid difficult conversations, it can have a big impact. By ignoring conflicts, you risk allowing resentment to build up, which can lead to emotional detachment.

Choosing to focus only on positive aspects might seem easier, but it's important to address underlying issues. Finding a balance between keeping the peace and dealing with tough topics is key for healthy communication. Learning to manage your emotions to keep yourself calm during disagreements will help you become more comfortable talking directly, and not avoiding issues..

Take some time to think about how you handle conflicts and talk about it with your partner. By recognizing and talking about avoidance tendencies, you can have more honest conversations. Facing conflicts together can strengthen your relationship and help you understand each other better.

04/15/2024

Communication is the lifeline of any relationship, and it's essential that it flows in both directions. In the Speaker-Listener format, each partner takes turns speaking and listening, so that both voices are heard and understood.

When you speak, you express your thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. When you listen, you actively seek to understand your partner's experiences and emotions.

It's important to step into each other's shoes and truly understand the depth of your partner's feelings.

Commit to embracing the Speaker-Listener format as a powerful tool for nurturing empathy and deepening connection in your relationships. You can create a space where communication flourishes, understanding abounds, and love thrives!

04/12/2024

There are different ways that you can have conflict with your partner that can be healthy and that are absolutely not healthy. The three styles of conflict that could be healthy if you do them right are avoidant, validator, and volatile. Even the word volatile sounds like it might not be healthy, but it can be healthy if you do it right with your partner. The two styles of conflict that are not healthy are hostile and hostile, detached. John and Julie Gottman talk about that in their book, Fight Right. The central thing that they're getting across to you is that when you are having a conflict with your partner, in order for it to be healthy, the ratio of positive to negative statements or behaviors in the conflict itself has to be five positive to one negative, and you have to not use what they call the four horsemen. I'll get into all of these concepts some more in-depth in the upcoming videos, but I want to share with you that when you identify what kind of conflict style, so long as you learn how to do it right, you'll be okay. So stick with me and watch for the upcoming videos that are about this great book, Fight Right by John and Julie Gottman.

04/11/2024

If you’re like most people, you just start to talk to your partner when an important topic is on your mind.

Did you know that preparing ahead of time helps you have a better conversation in the long run?

Getting ready before you talk helps you sort out what you want to say, think about how the other person might react, and pick the right words.

Doing this can really help make your talks clear and make sure both you and your partner understand what each other is saying.

You can be a leader and make a difference, creating safe, calm, connected communication.

We have what you need in our FREE guide: Calm and Connected Communication & Support. It begins with tips on what to think through BEFORE you say anything at all. To be sure you know just where to start, take the FREE Couples Communication Quiz. In just 2-3 minutes you’ll discover your Communication Zone, the best next steps for you and your partner, and the FREE 8 page guide.

Use the link below!
https://couplescommunicationinstitute.com/instagram/

03/20/2024

When it comes to other adults, you can’t read their minds.

But more or less, you can read the minds of your young kids. Not always - it sure would help if they came with notification screens or dashboard warning lights on their foreheads!

When you’re an attuned parent, you often understand what their otherwise mysterious behavior is all about. Sometimes it takes a while to see the pattern, and when you do, so much clicks into place. When your child has a low battery there are only a couple of things that will really work - food and sleep.

Back to other adults, and especially your partner - wouldn’t it be lovely if they had a notification screen on their forehead?

When your partner is essentially having a meltdown it’s usually too late to ask them what’s going on. After the fact though, in a calm moment, ask your partner what was going on with them. What was behind their meltdown or bad mood or mysterious behavior. Discuss what you can both do next time that happens, since they, unfortunately, didn’t come with a notification screen!

Communication - with another adult - is the only way to go since you can’t read their mind.

See how your communication is with your partner - take the Couples Communication Quiz. Link in bio!

From the New Yorker magazine, Pg. 1 November 27th 2017
Artist Sophia Waren

03/19/2024

Parenting and marriage issues are often intertwined, impacting each other significantly. Conflicting parenting styles or marital discord can strain relationships, affecting both adults and children. It’s essential for couples to recognize this interconnectedness and prioritize open communication and mutual respect. Seeking support from resources like this podcast, “The Calm Empowered Parent” can provide valuable insights and strategies for managing these challenges together. By addressing these issues collaboratively, couples can strengthen their relationship and create a nurturing environment for both their marriage and their children to thrive.

Link in bio to listen!!

03/14/2024

And… important bonus points for gestures that connect with what’s important to your partner, and what’s on their mind.

In other words, a surprise dinner that they’d love rather than your favorite meal, or a supportive note about something you know is going on in their life that you know has been on your mind.

This lets them know that you’re paying attention to what matters to them and keeping track of it.

Show your partner how much you cherish them!

03/07/2024

“Like talking to a brick wall.”

You set out to have a pleasant conversation, and you run into an immovable obstacle.

You likely feel frustrated, defeated, annoyed… actually, how DO you feel? Let me know!

If you’re in a relationship with an immovable obstacle, at a moment when your partner seems more receptive than usual, you could request a conversation to learn more about what your partner’s goals are when in a conversation.

If YOU are the immovable obstacle, it might be helpful to reflect on how other people react when you shut them down - does this feel good to you? If it doesn’t feel good, a new way to experiment talking is to be curious about what the other person is saying, rather than closing them off. Give it a try, and let me know the difference!

03/02/2024

Jon K’s comment is why I do what I do. You likely didn’t learn how to make a long term relationship work anywhere - not from your parents, not from your friends, not in school.

It takes an interest in and willingness to learn about how to “do” a relationship. And you and your partner can do it!

For more about how you CAN create the relationship you’ve always longed for, sign up for my Masterclass. Link in Bio!

This comment was in reference to an article in the New York Times on February 21, 2024 titled “Over 60, Single and Never Happier” by Catherine Pearson.

Article: https://www.nytimes.com/by/catherine-pearson

02/27/2024

This is actually the truth of arguments in relationships.

These are called “perpetual problems” and every couple has them. The issues that you tend to have the same argument about, over and over. And over. For years, perhaps for your entire life together.

To shift the dynamic, become a team together, curious about your perpetual problem, and how you can be on the same side looking at your issue as partners. It doesn’t mean you’re going to agree, but you can sit back and both see what’s happening and have compassion for each other.

Like this couple - perhaps they’re arguing about dishes in the kitchen. They can come together and be on the same team, understanding that they see mess in the kitchen in two different ways.

To discuss this, check out some of my earlier series’ on having great conversations. Think about, then set up, then have a Calm & Connected Conversation. Be sure to VALIDATE each other once you understand each other.

See how this shifts your dynamic! Send me a DM - I’d love to hear about how this goes for you.

New Yorker Magazine, Pg. 32.
Artist: Jason Adam Katzenstein

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https://couplescommunicationinstitute.com/quiz/

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