ACA WSO

01/26/2026

ACA Promises

1) We will discover our real identities by loving and accepting ourselves
2) Our self esteem will increase as we give ourselves approval on a daily basis
3) Fear of authority figures and the need to people please will leave us
4) our ability to share intimacy will grow inside us
5)As we face our abandonment issues we will be attracted by strength and become more tolerant of weakness
6)We will enjoy feeling stable, peaceful, and financially secure
7) We will learn to play and have fun in our lives
8)We will choose to love people who can love and be responsible for themselves
9) Healthy boundaries and limits will become easier for us to set
10) Fears of failure and success will leave us, as we intuitively make healthier choices
11) With help from our ACA support group, we will slowly release our dysfunctional behaviors
12)Gradually will our higher powers help, we will learn to expect the best and get it

01/25/2026

PTSD and Survival

“The memory contains PTSD elements of fear, threat to survival, and feeling alone, perhaps destitute.” BRB p. 180

Many of us experienced the trauma of being left alone for hours, having to feed ourselves and to do whatever else was necessary to survive. We ate what we could find, even if it was half-rotten; we wore what was there, even if it wasn’t clean, had holes, and didn’t fit. We were desperately afraid, we were neglected, and we didn’t know if we would survive.

We suffer from PTSD, just as sure as if we were raised in a war zone. As a result, we often developed addictions directly related to what we experienced. If we didn’t have enough food, we may have developed an eating disorder; if we didn’t have enough to wear, we may have become a compulsive shopper or a shoplifter; if we were terrified of being alone, we may have learned to manipulate others to keep them around.

In ACA, we discover the Laundry List traits, the survival behaviors we developed as a way of coping with our childhood trauma. As we continue to learn more, we use this knowledge to begin to take care of ourselves in a healthy way. We make a commitment that even if we feel overwhelmed, we will not abandon ourselves and our program. We know recovery is possible in ACA because we see it in others.

On this day, if I reach outside of myself for an unhealthy solution, I will remember to reach inside for the experience, strength, and hope the program gives me.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.

01/24/2026

Actor vs. Reactor

“This book will…truly move you from a place of reactor to actor in life. As said in many Twelve Step programs, ‘It works if you work it.’” BRB p. xix

As children, most of us learned to be reactive as a survival mechanism. If we didn’t “jump to it” without questioning, we were usually punished. We learned to be defensive, often having to explain even the smallest of our actions. We reacted out of fear and did what was necessary to avoid getting into trouble.

As adults, this conditioning may have an upside – maybe we’re the ones who react quickly to a crisis and save the day. But we also might be the ones who react quickly to answer someone’s intrusive question, later realizing it wasn’t their business. Then we berate ourselves for being so “stupid.” Or maybe we’re the ones who blurt out something inappropriate because something triggered us.

ACA’s Big Red Book was written to help us uncover and understand the roots of our dysfunctions. We learn that we carry around a critical inner parent that causes us to react in ways we are no longer comfortable with. As we work the program to silence that critical voice, we feel calmer. We learn to stop, question and decide what our role is and should be, rather than jump to conclusions. Gradually, we become the actors who think for ourselves…and the critical voice fades.

On this day I will take time to read from the Big Red Book to help me further silence the critical voice that may still cause me to be reactive.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.

01/23/2026

Many of us tried to raise our families differently. But without ACA or another type of intervention, we were like our parents - we could only give what we had. This meant we made a lot of wrong choices. We may even have become alienated from our children, finding that they resented us, just as we resented our parents.
ACA presents us with a choice: stay and get better in a way that might someday repair our relationships, or feel hopeless and continue to fill ourselves with self-blame and shame.

If we choose ACA, we must let go of the fact that we didn't find help earlier, when it could have prevented so much pain. We accept that change takes time, so we "get our heads on straight" and concentrate on taking care of ourselves. As we're ready, we learn to be present in a healthy way for our children. If we're separated from them, we hope they come back to us, but if they don't, we continue to love them and pray they find their way.

On this day I will take care of myself first. Only then will I be available to my family if they ask for emotional support.

01/23/2026

Exact Nature

“When we look at the exact nature of our wrongs, we see that we have harmed ourselves based on our sense of being unacceptable, inferior, or lost.” BRB p. 198

For years we blamed ourselves for everything – what we did and what others did. To keep the peace, we made amends, both verbal and non-verbal, to unsafe, often violent people in our lives. We were the doormats we were raised to be. We hid our feelings and confided to no one.

Some of us, even after we started recovery in ACA, continued to keep things bottled up and wondered why we weren’t changing. Somehow, we had interpreted “taking it to God” to mean just praying the uncomfortable things in our life away. We thought that expressing our feelings, especially anger, to others wasn’t acceptable.

We now view anger as a normal, healthy emotion that can help us know when we need to set a boundary, get out of a specific situation, or let go of an unhealthy relationship. We no longer ignore how we feel.

We may create a list of triggers to help us get in touch with our feelings. We might keep lists of emotions to more accurately identify our own. We realize that even the seemingly negative ones are a part of the gift of being completely human.

On this day I will sit with my feelings instead of pushing them away. Then I will make a phone call to share them with a fellow traveler.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.

01/22/2026

Many of us come into ACA not knowing that we could give ourselves
permission to attend to our most basic needs. The journey of recovery in ACA
can include learning to identify our needs, feelings, and rights, and to take
responsibility for getting them met in a healthy fashion. At the same time, the
rights we discover and determine for ourselves do not imply that others have
the responsibility to fulfill those rights. With the help of these rights, we are able
to develop healthier relationships, and with a power greater than ourselves of
our own understanding, we can begin to live life as our True Selves.

01/22/2026

Step Four

“Without knowing the meaning of the abandonment encoded within the past, the adult child is doomed to repeat it. The unexamined past becomes the future of the next generation.” BRB p. 154

Many of us came from other Twelve Step programs, and our experiences with the Fourth Step may not have been positive. Like medicine, it was something we took because we were supposed to. It didn’t feel like an action of love, but rather like a listing of how we were defective people. We were confused by this, but we did as we were told.

When we arrived at ACA, we may have carried that Fourth Step baggage and cringed at the thought of doing another one. What in the world could we be blamed for about our childhood? How could we be at fault?

But we began the work anyway. We may have been confused when we started, but we soon saw that this would be a completely different experience. We answered the questions in the Fourth Step exercises, which gave us a well-rounded view of what actually happened to us. We began to see the reasons why we act the way we do today, and why we could not have turned out differently.

This was an amazing discovery. We now believe with great hope that we can recover from the effects of our dysfunctional childhood so that we can leave a new legacy for future generations.

On this day I affirm my commitment to examining my past so that I can help change the path of my future and the future of those close to me.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.

01/21/2026

01/21/2026

Upcoming Yellow Book Step Study

Beginning February 16th 2026
Monday nights 7pm-9pm ET on Zoom
Duration is 18 weeks
The group will remain open for first 3 weeks for new joiners and then closed.

Please contact Kinch at acastudiesto@gmail.com to register.

01/21/2026

Relationships

01/20/2026

Grief Work

“We can pinpoint and measure our loss by comparing the treatment we received as children in dysfunctional families with the care we could have received if raised by loving, consistent parents.” BRB p. 204

The grief exercises in Step Five ask us to journal about childhood incidents to help access emotions about events. If they don’t surface, we try to see how a present-day child would feel in our situation. We can also look at childhood pictures to help connect with our innocence and what was lost.

Then we’re asked to re-read our Step Four “Shame and Abandonment” worksheets and reframe each incident. We describe what would have been different if there were a loving parent in each scenario.

Experiencing loss in this way can help us release it. But if we’re blocked, it may be that we switch from grief to anger when it hurts too much. It’s like a button is pushed that sends us into shutdown, blame, or rage mode. But the deep sadness of our grief can also help us see the true level of destruction of our emotions, minds, and bodies.

In choosing the recovery process over dysfunction, we realize that grief work helps us find our strong, capable Inner Child. We are learning what a loving parent would do and how we can reparent ourselves. The ACA program is not easy work, but the reward is freedom!

On this day I will hold on to the ACA process when the grief and emotions are screaming. I will stop at nothing to recover my original self.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.