ACA WSO

12/13/2025

Responsibility

“Freedom from alcoholic insanity is a question of responsibility. We cannot be responsible for something we did not create.”
BRB p. 88

We thought of ourselves as something worthless at the center of the universe. We had tried to commit su***de in many ways, both emotionally and physically, thinking to ourselves “Maybe this time they will see what is going on.” But nothing changed and neither did our perpetrators. We spent all of this energy for what?

In ACA, we learn that we are the ones who have to change. To do so, we first need to let go of the responsibility for the alcoholic insanity. It has always been unmanageable, with or without us.

We start to see that we deserve to have a chance at a sane life, even though we aren’t quite sure what that would be like. We look out before us and see there is light ahead. We can’t see what it is, but we also can’t stop moving towards it. It feels good and warm. That scares us at first, but it also feels new and exciting.

We put down our shame and our addictions that no longer serve us. We release our character defenses. It is time to see what this thing called life is about. We allow ourselves to walk forward.

On this day I will remember that I am responsible for myself, but not for the insanity of my childhood. I will use the memories to heal myself, but then leave them in the past so I can be free.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.

12/12/2025

Tradition Five

“I give it away to keep it – recovery.” BRB p. 513

When we come to ACA, we are hurting. We find others like ourselves. Because we learn to trust these people, we gradually allow ourselves to open up and share our deepest secrets.

But in some cases, people we’ve grown close to leave, and we feel abandoned, just as in our childhoods. We wonder if we should go, too. Maybe we’ve done all we can and should move on; maybe this ACA program isn’t the answer to everything; maybe we aren’t having the big “aha” moments anymore.

So why should we stay when others might not? Because this abandonment we feel is different; we are using new tools that help us work through these feelings. Everyone doesn’t have the same path, and we can feel sad when people leave and hope they find what works for them. But for us, ACA is the healthy choice. We decide to stay, first for ourselves and then for others. We give back what we’ve gotten to the next person who comes through the door. These are our peers. We may not all look and act alike, but it’s amazing the help we can give one another. By being there for others in recovery, we learn more about ourselves.

On this day I will rededicate myself to my recovery in ACA. I know this is where I belong.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.

12/11/2025

Placing Ourselves Last

“Having an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, we preferred to be concerned with others rather than ourselves.” BRB p. 589

When we arrived at ACA, many of us realized we had a pattern of putting all others before ourselves. It seemed their lives were more important than ours, and we just got the crumbs or whatever was left over. We had developed a “What about me?” victim persona.

Some of us noticed this when we finally became so tired of not being listened to by friends and family. We thought, “Hey, I want to talk about my life, my interests, my challenges, too!” This deprivation had led us to feeling lethargic, hopeless, and depressed. We were wallowing in self-pity, compulsions, or addictions to numb our pain.

In recovery, we find ourselves transforming this pattern. Our unconscious compulsive reactions are lessening. We find freedom from our survival traits when we talk in meetings and with our fellow travelers. We work the Steps. We meditate and pray. We read and write about our thoughts and feelings. We begin opening up, ready and willing to turn our dysfunctional patterns over to our Higher Power. We see how our wounded Inner Child is responding to our inner loving parent’s compassion.

On this day I know there is an alternative to being overly concerned with others rather than myself. Gradually, more of my needs are met and I feel I am finally listened to.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.

12/10/2025

Forgiving others was tough enough, but for some of us, forgiving ourselves seemed a monumental task. We carried the shame and guilt passed down from generation to generation, from one hurt person to the next in a chain for maybe hundreds of years. We may have found that we needed to act compulsively to stay numb to the pain: maybe we chose drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, approval, cutting, video games, power, rules, or spending. We lived in fear because deep down we thought we were unlovable.

In ACA, we learn that we can have a relationship with a healing Higher Power that we can define in any way we want. If our families were abusive and perfectionistic, we no longer bow down to them. We reject the feelings of despair and hopelessness because they no longer belong to us.

As we begin to forgive ourselves for real or imagined wrongs, we become ready to reparent our Inner Child. In doing so, we make room for a new outlook, one that allows us to believe that part of us is already whole and sane, already with our Higher Power, and already forgiven. As we continue to heal, we will come to understand that we were forgiven all along.

On this day I will hold my head high and act as if I am forgiven, even if I don't yet fully believe it.

12/10/2025

Solution – Respect

“We learn to reparent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love and respect.” BRB p. 590

As we learn to reparent ourselves with respect in ACA, we oftentimes find ourselves at odds with our Inner Child. Maybe our child is clamoring for an expensive cup of tea at a nearby coffee shop, or just wishing for a better car. We might have once quashed that inner voice in a shaming manner, and said things that we heard as children, like “Stop wishing for what you can never have.” We can now be a responsible parent and respectfully say, “No, we can’t afford that right now.”

With the help of our program, we also learn to put things in perspective. Maybe we can decide that even though a chai tea latte is never going to be a daily habit, we can afford it this once if our Inner Child is having a bad day and wants a treat. And yes, the Lamborghini is out of our price range, but we can allow ourselves to visit the mental Lamborghini showroom, sit in the car with our Inner Child and say, “It’s okay to wish for things we may never have.” It’s a tiny gift not to squash our hopes and dreams, but it is a lasting tiny gift.

On this day I will show respect for myself, my Inner Child, and others. I will remember that wonderful things I never thought possible have happened to me because I dared to dream.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.

12/09/2025

« All Events Winter Fellowship Gathering December 13 @ 3:30 pm - 6:30 pm EST « Healing for the Holidays Board Meeting with the Fellowship » GEBACA Intergroup Winter Party on Saturday, December 13 from 12:30-3:30pm PT. Lunch, Fellowship,and Talent/No-Talent Show. In-person at 1924 Cedar St, Berkel...

12/09/2025

12/09/2025

Fun

12/08/2025

During our recovery work through the ACA Program, we begin to feel a noticeable freedom from the damaging effects of The Laundry List traits. We are healing from the trauma and neglect of our childhood.

We gain emotional sobriety by reparenting ourselves. We learn to love ourselves, perhaps for the first time in our memory.

As part of this healing we are changing, or, in many cases, moving away from our relationships that have been controlling and without feelings or trust. We begin to feel connected, both to ourselves and to others. This connectedness in relationships is characterized by the freedom to express our feelings and associate with people with whom there is mutual trust and respect. We bring our True Selves to our relationships. We know we have something to offer that is different from unhealthy dependence.

This is what ACA recovery looks like. It addresses our soul rupture from our primary relationships with our family and caregivers.

With Emotional Sobriety, we live with feelings, spirituality, and our true identity. We experience ACA’s 12 Promises. At long last, we understand what it feels like to live “happy, joyous and free.”

*Paraphrased and quoted from our fellowship text “Big Red Book (BRB)” pp 265-266

12/08/2025

Self-Love

“Self-love enables the adult child to back-fill the love or nurturing we did not get as children.” BRB p. 436

Long ago we were yelled at, pushed aside, and neglected. In our quiet times, we wondered in our little child minds, “Why? What did I do wrong?”
We looked out at the world and saw a dad playing in the yard with his kids. Those kids looked so happy. We stood in our yard alone, feeling like the only kid in the world nobody loved.

This lack of love set the stage for years of searching. We found relief now and then when a teacher smiled or a friend bragged about us. But nothing made us feel loved enough to take away the pain. Some of us used drugs, alcohol, food, and other compulsive activities to fill the empty spot where love should have been.
When we got to ACA, we felt a connection when we heard others talk about their loveless lives because now we knew we weren’t alone. We learned that the reason we didn’t feel loved was because of something out of our control: true love can’t co-exist along with alcoholic and dysfunctional thinking.

It wasn’t our fault! We were always lovable. We made a commitment to start over and love ourselves.

On this day I will take positive action to love and nurture myself in a way only I can.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.

12/07/2025

Wholeness

“In ACA, we believe we were born whole and became fragmented in body, mind, and spirit through abandonment and shame. We need help finding a way to return to our miracle state.”
BRB p. 143

When we find our way to ACA, we may feel like our outsides don’t match our insides. We are used to acting as though everything is fine in our lives, knowing in our hearts this is not the case. We are adept at controlling how we appear to others, careful to conceal the pain behind a smile.

As children, we had to hide our true feelings, our True Self, in order to survive. We were sometimes shamed or abandoned when we expressed emotions our parents could not cope with. We learned to keep our thoughts and yearnings to ourselves out of fear.

With the help of our Higher Power and others in ACA who know of our pain, we begin to speak the truth of our experience and gradually align our thoughts, feelings, and actions. We know that wholeness is again available to us when we experience love and acceptance from others in recovery and from our Higher Power. With the help of ACA, we can learn to tap into all of our emotions, including joy.

On this day I welcome my True Self by acknowledging and accepting my feelings. I feel whole in my Higher Power’s loving embrace.

© COPYRIGHT ACA WSO INC.