APH Counseling

02/23/2026

Another fascinating episode worth a listen with Dr. Anna Lembke Author of Dopamine Nation 🔥🙌

Dr Anna Lembke is Professor of Psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic. She i...

02/22/2026

Interesting and helpful listen🙌

Dopamine expert DR ANNA LEMBKE reveals how addiction is hijacking your brain, why dopamine addiction is rising fast, the danger of social media, p**n, AI, an...

02/21/2026

Knowing Better Doesn’t Always Mean Doing Better

Hi There, I’m Alyssa🌿

I support children, teens, adults, couples, and families as they navigate mental health with connection, safety, and practical strategies. At APH, I show up the same way at work as I do in life. I share approaches I’ve tried myself as a parent, partner, and friend. I focus on what’s realistic for where you are, including your stage of life, your work, your family, your various roles, and everyday demands. I support growth in ways that meet you where you are, walking alongside you as you take steps towards change safely and realistically🌱.

It's okay to admit when change feels hard, even when you know better.

You can know the coping skills.
You can understand your triggers.
You can see the patterns.
And still struggle to do something different.
Because change doesn’t happen just because we “know better.”

It happens when our nervous system feels safe enough to tolerate doing something differently.
That’s why regulation matters.
That’s why co-regulation matters.
That’s why repair matters.
Shame doesn’t create growth.
Safety does🛟.

📢Real change is rarely dramatic🎭

It looks like pausing instead of escalating.
It looks like accountability without self-destruction.
It looks like setting boundaries thoughtfully.
It looks like choosing connection over control.

Growth comes with discomfort and often a wave of complex emotions 🌊. Feeling frustrated with setbacks or stuck at times is part of the process, just as it’s natural to notice moments of empowerment when you move forward. I focus on what’s realistic for where you are, and together we take steps that make sense for your life and your current capacity.

🤎 I see you. I believe in you. Let's take it one step at a time.

-Alyssa

APH Counseling, LLC
www.aphcounseling.org
605 600 1733

02/14/2026

🤍 Today isn’t just about romance it’s about connection.

🛟 The kind where we feel seen. The kind where we feel safe. The kind where we are all allowed to be fully ourselves.

✨ Whether you’re celebrating with a partner, your kids, your friends, or learning to show up more gently for yourself. It is all significant!

🛠️ Connection and psychological safety in relationships are built and strengthened with small, consistent, and intentional moments.

🌱 Those moments matter more than we all think. When we’re regulated, we respond with intention. When we’re rooted, we stay grounded in who we are.

🔗 That’s the foundation of a healthy connection.

With care,

Alyssa @ APH Counseling


❤️

02/12/2026

02/12/2026

Date February 2026 Episode 027 Guest Pilyoung Kim, PhD Topics Artificial Intelligence (AI) Social Relationships AI “friends” and companions are increasingly providing children and adolescents with social interactions and perceived “relationships,” despite being a technology that itself has n...

02/12/2026

02/12/2026

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=PhA1WdxKb8k&si=qo73iLR5RxiG4Fr6

Ready to deepen your meditation practice? Join Dan Harris and world-class meditation teachers on the 10% with Dan Harris app here: https://app.danharris.com/...

02/06/2026

🧠Different Relationships. Same Nervous System.

If you’re stuck in the same fight, a meltdown, or a power struggle, it’s not because you’re failing.

It’s the nervous system asking the same question:

“Are you going to be there for me when I need you most?”

Research reminds us that behavior is adaptive. Stress and connection shape it.

Conflict is often a protest for closeness, not a flaw.

This can show up in many areas:

Children: disengagement, control seeking, loss of regulation

Couples: repeating the same arguments, withdrawal of connection/communication, keeping score

Work: perfectionism, defensiveness

Friends: people pleasing, pulling away

🛠️Here’s the REAL part: You don’t need "FIX":

‼️Practice the pause. Listen to understand. Connect before you are tempted to correct. Name what you observe in a caring and assertive manner. It can be helpful to remember that we can set boundaries, be present, and remain firm without being harsh.

🖇️Show up in small, consistent ways even when it’s hard and uncomfortable. These little moments build trust, safety, and connection over time. Showing up, even when it’s uncomfortable, is the root of real connection. This may mean having some flexibility, holding reactions, or sitting there while someone else is having a hard time. Some of us need to build tolerance for connection because closeness can feel overwhelming or unsafe, and showing up consistently even when it’s uncomfortable teaches the nervous system that connection is safe and possible with the people willing to meet you there.

🐾Diego, Professor of Nervous System 101, insisted on being the face of this post because he’s an expert at connection: He is consistent, never judgmental, and incredibly tolerant.

Here for you,
Alyssa @ APH Counseling, LLC

www.aphcounseling.org
605 600-1733

01/31/2026

Why Being Yourself Can Feel Unsafe ⚠️

At some point, some of us may have formed the idea:

If I’m fully myself, I might lose connection.
So the nervous system adapted to survive.

Attachment became more important than authenticity.

Gabor Maté teaches that this isn’t a mindset issue. It’s a body one. When connection feels threatened, the body steps in to protect it. And those protections don’t just live in our thoughts. They show up in our relationships.

*Be the easy one.
*Be the strong one.
*The one who doesn't need much.
*The peacekeeper.

Not because that’s who we are, but because it once helped us stay close.

This is why conflict can be overwhelming.
Why closeness can feel both wanted and unsafe.
Why you notice yourself shrinking, mending, or overcompensating when connection feels uncertain.

These aren’t flaws. They’re survival patterns.
And here’s the part that matters for healing.

As we begin to show up more authentically, even in small ways, we start learning something new.

Who is safe? Who can stay in it even when we’re honest and it may be hard for them to hear? Who makes room for our needs instead of backing away?

Authenticity becomes information, not danger.

This is how self-esteem grows. Not from affirmations, but from lived experiences of being yourself and still having a sense of belonging. Each time you’re met instead of abandoned, the nervous system updates its story.

I can be me and still be loved.🤎

Not “What’s wrong with me?”

But “What did my system learn to survive?”

You don’t have to force change let awareness and safety do the work. 🛟

Here with you,

Alyssa @ APH Counseling, LLC

605 600 1733

www.aphcounseling.org

01/30/2026

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01/30/2026

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