Tony Boer Coaching, Sioux Falls, SD (2026)

01/05/2026

A new year brings hope—but it can also bring pressure to “do things better.”

Instead of focusing on fixing everything, start by reconnecting with each other.

Healthy marriages grow through small, intentional moments:
• Reflecting on the past year without blame
• Listening more than correcting
• Sharing hopes instead of expectations
• Creating consistent check-ins
• Expressing gratitude often
• Committing to repair when conflict happens

You don’t need a dramatic reset to have a meaningful year together. You need presence, honesty, and a shared commitment to stay connected—even when it’s hard.

This year, don’t just set goals.
Set intentions for connection.

01/03/2026

Why Acknowledgment Is More Powerful Than You Think

Many couples think resolving conflict is about solving problems, giving advice, or “fixing” the other person. But often, the most powerful thing you can do is simply acknowledge your partner’s feelings.

Acknowledgment says: “I see you. I hear you. You matter.” It doesn’t mean you agree, and it doesn’t mean you have to fix anything — it just validates their experience.

Example:
Imagine your spouse comes home frustrated from work, feeling unappreciated. Your instinct might be to offer solutions: “Why don’t you just ask for a raise?” or “At least your team respects you.” But what they need most in that moment is acknowledgment:
“I can see why that would frustrate you. That sounds really tough.”

Notice how the conversation shifts. The tension softens. They feel safe, understood, and connected — and often, solutions come naturally afterward.

Acknowledgment builds trust, reduces defensiveness, and strengthens intimacy. Sometimes, it’s the smallest words that make the biggest difference.

💛 Next time your spouse seems upset, pause. Listen. Reflect. Acknowledge. You might be surprised by the ripple effect.

01/01/2026

2026 is here — and with it comes a chance to reset your relationship.

But a reset doesn’t happen by accident. It happens through reflection, intention, and small consistent actions.

Here’s a simple Relationship Reset Ritual to start the year connected and aligned:

1️⃣ Reflect Together
Look back on the past year. What moments brought you closer? Where did you feel disconnected? Share openly, without blame — curiosity is key.

2️⃣ Set Intentions, Not Resolutions
Instead of “fixing” each other, choose intentions like:
• Listening more deeply
• Celebrating small wins
• Practicing patience and grace

3️⃣ Daily Micro-Habits
Small habits matter:
• 5-minute daily check-ins
• One gratitude per day
• Non-sexual touch
• A curiosity question

4️⃣ Ritualize Appreciation
Celebrate your growth regularly:
• Weekly or monthly notes of appreciation
• Share three things you admire about each other
• End the week acknowledging what worked

A relationship reset isn’t about perfection.
It’s about choosing each other daily, noticing growth, and practicing connection intentionally.

Start small. Stay consistent. Make 2026 the year your relationship grows closer, stronger, and more connected 🤍

12/31/2025

The holidays can bring connection—but they can also bring pressure.

Pressure to attend everything.
Pressure to keep the peace.
Pressure to tolerate things that cost you emotionally.

Boundaries aren’t about pushing people away.
They’re about protecting what allows you to show up well.

You’re allowed to say no.
You’re allowed to leave early.
You’re allowed to create new traditions that support your mental and emotional health.

Healthy boundaries don’t take away from the holidays—they help make them meaningful.

12/28/2025

Holiday arguments rarely start with what they appear to be about.

It’s not really the dishes, the schedule, the in-laws, or the comment that came out wrong.
Those moments are usually just the spark — not the source.

The holidays are full of triggers. Stress is high, routines are off, and expectations are heavy. When we’re tired or overwhelmed, our nervous system reacts faster than our logic.

They also bring up family histories. Old roles resurface. Childhood wounds get poked. We respond not just as adults, but sometimes as the younger versions of ourselves who learned how to survive family dynamics long ago.

And underneath most holiday conflict are unmet needs — the need for rest, support, reassurance, appreciation, or to feel like you’re not carrying everything alone.

The good news? Conflict doesn’t have to be the end of connection.

Repair is possible when we slow down and do two things:
First, name it — “I’m overwhelmed,” “This brought up something old,” “I’m needing reassurance right now.”
Then, repair it — “I’m sorry,” “I care about you,” “Let’s reset.”

Holiday arguments aren’t a sign that your relationship is failing.
They’re an invitation to pause, understand what’s really happening, and choose connection again.

Grace matters more than perfection this season. 🤍🎄

12/25/2025

Christmas often comes with expectations — to be joyful, grateful, present, and peaceful.

But healing doesn’t run on a holiday schedule.

For many people, this season brings up grief, family wounds, unmet expectations, or exhaustion alongside the celebrations. And that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

It means you’re human.

This Christmas, give yourself permission to move slower. To say no when needed. To honor both joy and sadness without guilt. Healing doesn’t disappear during the holidays — it simply asks for more gentleness, more grace, and more compassion.

You are allowed to meet this season exactly as you are. 🤍🎄

Merry Christmas - Tony

12/25/2025

Most couples don’t struggle because they don’t love each other.
They struggle because life gets loud — and connection gets quiet.

The good news?
Connection doesn’t require more time. It requires more intention.

Here are a few daily micro-habits that help couples stay emotionally connected — even on busy days:

• A 5-minute check-in where you listen without fixing
• One spoken gratitude (simple and specific)
• Non-sexual touch that says “I’m here”
• A curiosity question instead of an assumption

And here are a few additional prompts you can rotate in:
• “What was the hardest part of your day?”
• “What felt good today?”
• “Is there anything you need from me this week?”
• Sit together for 2 minutes without phones
• Say goodnight intentionally — even on hard days
• Send one kind text during the day
• Ask, “How can I support you right now?”

Strong relationships aren’t built on perfection —
they’re built on presence, consistency, and small choices made daily.

Start with one.
Connection grows from there 🤍

12/22/2025

Healing deeper is not the loud, dramatic moment people imagine.

It’s quiet.
It’s honest.
It’s choosing to pause instead of react.

It’s realizing that some of your strongest reactions were learned in moments when you were just trying to survive. And instead of judging those parts of yourself, you begin to thank them — and gently teach them something new.

Healing deeper means you stop searching for someone to blame and start creating space for understanding.
Understanding your triggers.
Understanding your fears.
Understanding the unmet needs that shaped your responses.

This kind of healing doesn’t happen overnight. It happens when you choose curiosity over criticism, softness over shame, and patience over pressure.

If you’re in this season, you’re not behind.
You’re becoming more whole.

💛

12/19/2025

No one teaches us what to do with fear once we’re in love.

So instead, we raise our voices.
We shut down.
We criticize.
We pull away.

And then we wonder how someone who loves us so deeply could also hurt us so much.

The truth is — most couples don’t hurt each other because they’re cruel or careless. They hurt each other because they’re overwhelmed, scared of being rejected, or unsure how to ask for what they need.

Underneath anger is usually grief.
Underneath defensiveness is fear.
Underneath distance is often a longing to feel close again.

When couples understand why the hurt is happening, they stop seeing each other as the enemy — and start seeing the pain as the problem.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why are we like this?”
This video might help you see your relationship with softer eyes.

💛 Healing starts with understanding.

12/06/2025

We don’t like to talk about it, but it’s true: beauty fades.
No matter how attractive we are in our 20s, 30s, or 40s… time will eventually change all of us.

But the heart?
The heart shows who a person really is when life gets hard.
It reveals how they treat you when they’re stressed, how they speak to you when no one’s watching, and how they show up when they don’t feel like it.

A lasting relationship isn’t built on physical attraction — it’s built on kindness, empathy, emotional safety, and shared values.

Choose someone whose character will still feel beautiful 40 years from now.
And just as importantly… become that kind of person for them too. ❤️

Follow .marriagecast for more relationship wisdom and marriage conversations that matter.

12/06/2025

It’s wild how often conflict has nothing to do with who’s right.
What people really want is to feel understood, valued, and safe enough to express what’s underneath the surface.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do for your partner is pause, breathe, and say:
“I’m listening. Help me understand.”

When we feel heard, we soften.
When we feel understood, we open up.
And when we feel safe, we communicate differently.

What would shift in your relationship if listening became the priority?

12/03/2025

Are you really listening, or just waiting for your turn to speak? 🤔

So many of us think we’re “good listeners,” but habits like planning your response, interrupting, or judging can block true connection.

Swipe through to see 3 signs you’re not really listening and learn simple ways to improve your communication. 💬
Because better listening = deeper relationships, less conflict, and more understanding. 💛

Tony Boer Coaching

01/05/2026

01/03/2026

01/01/2026

12/31/2025

12/28/2025

12/25/2025

12/25/2025

12/22/2025

12/19/2025

12/06/2025

12/06/2025

12/03/2025

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