Tony Boer Coaching

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Tony Boer Coaching

Licensed Therapist & Clini-Coach, Tony Boer — Helping couples for over 15 years in their marriages.

11/16/2025

And I get it.
We imagine that time, vacations, milestones, or “next chapters” will naturally soften the edges in our relationships. But the truth I see every day in the therapy room is this:

✨ Relationships don’t improve with time. They improve with intention.

The moments that change us aren’t always big or dramatic.
They’re the quiet choices:

– choosing patience when you’re both tired
– choosing curiosity instead of defensiveness
– choosing to pause the argument so you can return as teammates
– choosing honesty even when it’s awkward
– choosing repair instead of resentment

Healing isn’t loud.
It’s a slow, steady commitment to showing up a little differently than you did yesterday.

If things feel heavy, messy, or stuck, it doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re human — and you’re being invited to grow in ways that matter.

💛 One small shift can change the direction of your whole relationship.

11/12/2025

In therapy, I don’t fix people.
I help them find the parts of themselves they stopped believing were worth saving.

Because most of the time, people don’t come to therapy broken — they come disconnected.
Disconnected from their worth, their voice, their inner peace, their sense of safety.

The work isn’t about “fixing” — it’s about remembering.
Remembering that even the parts of you that feel messy or hard to love are still yours — and still worthy of compassion.

Healing isn’t becoming someone new; it’s returning to who you’ve always been underneath the pain. 🤍

💭 Save this post if you needed that reminder today — or share it with someone who’s learning to see their worth again.

10/29/2025

So many couples struggle to talk about intimacy without it turning into a fight. The truth? The worst time to talk about s*x is when you’re already upset about it.
Every couple has mismatched needs sometimes—that’s not the real problem. The problem is when we stop talking about it.
Building connection starts with open, compassionate communication. When we can name our needs without blame, we can start to heal together. ❤️

🎧 Watch more from .marriagecast

10/20/2025

Life gets busy. Between work, kids, chores, and a never-ending to-do list, it’s easy to go a whole week without truly pausing to check in with each other. 🫶

That’s why starting the week with a quick, intentional conversation can make such a difference. ✨
Asking just a few thoughtful questions can help you:
✅ Stay emotionally connected
✅ Get ahead of challenges before they build up
✅ Celebrate wins and support each other better

Here are 5 simple check-in questions to try with your spouse each week:
1️⃣ How are you really feeling as we start this week?
2️⃣ What’s one thing you’re looking forward to?
3️⃣ Is there anything you need extra support with?
4️⃣ How can we make time to connect this week?
5️⃣ Is there anything left unspoken from last week?

❤️ These conversations don’t have to be long — even 10 minutes can set the tone for a more connected, intentional week together.

👉 Save these questions and make them part of your weekly rhythm.
Which one resonates with you most?

10/10/2025

Do you have that one person you can be completely real with?

For some people, it’s a “beers and fears” guy — someone they can sit down with, open up, and share what’s really going on in life. For others, it’s a coffee and confession buddy.

For me? I’m not a big coffee or beer drinker. My version looks a little different: a Red Bull and a real conversation.

It doesn’t matter what’s in your hand — what matters is who’s across from you. Find that person who lets you take off the armor, talk honestly, and just be you. And if you don’t have one yet… maybe it’s time to become that person for someone else.

Who’s your “Beers & Fears” person? Tag them below or share how you stay real with your friends.

10/08/2025

💬 Communication can make or break a marriage.
Sometimes, it’s not the big fights that cause distance — it’s the little mistakes we make in everyday conversations.

Here are 3 communication mistakes to avoid if you want to build connection instead of conflict. ❤️

👉 Take a look through the list and be honest…
Which mistake do you see the most? 👇

10/06/2025

If you want to see growth in your marriage, think about it like an investment. 📈
Just like the stock market, what you get out is usually a reflection of what you put in.
If the “rate of return” in your marriage feels low, maybe it’s time to take an honest look at how much you’re really investing—your time, attention, love, and intentionality. ❤️

Healthy marriages don’t happen by accident—they grow through daily deposits of love and commitment.

What’s one small way you can invest in your marriage this week?👇

10/04/2025

“Who needs a fancy dinner when you can go out, hit the dollar menu, play a few arcade games, and still feel like the stars of a rom-com? Love is loud, fun, and inexpensive tonight! 🎯🍔💑

”

10/03/2025

Denial doesn’t always sound like denial. 🚩

Sometimes it comes out as:
➡️ “I can quit anytime.”
➡️ “It’s not that big of a deal.”
➡️ “I’m only on my phone because I was waiting.”

The truth is, denial often shows up in our defensiveness. When we rush to explain ourselves or minimize the concern, it might actually be a warning sign that something deeper is going on.

And this doesn’t just apply to big issues like drinking—it can show up in everyday areas too, like shopping, hobbies, or screen time.

In marriage, those little denials can slowly build walls between spouses. But when we’re willing to pause, reflect, and honestly ask “Am I in trouble here?”—that’s where real growth and connection begin. 💡

💬 What’s one way you’ve noticed denial sneak into relationships?

🎙️ Watch the full conversation on .marriagecast

10/01/2025

✨5 Date Night Questions to Spark Connection✨

1. What’s one dream you haven’t shared with me yet?
2. What was your favorite moment of our relationship so far?
3. If we could relive one day together, which would you choose?
4. What’s something small I do that makes you feel loved?
5. What’s one adventure you hope we take together in the future?

💬 Which question would YOU ask your spouse first?

09/29/2025

Action for Connection 💛💬

Want to connect on a deeper level?

Take the time this week to learn your partner’s love language.

Understanding how they feel most loved—through words, touch, gifts, acts of service, or quality time—can transform your relationship and bring you closer than ever. ✨

09/26/2025

“Where do you see us in five years? 💬❤️

Dream big, laugh hard, and imagine the future together—whether it’s a cozy home, new adventures, or just more takeout on the couch. 🏡✈️🍕

Ask this on your next date night and see how your visions line up. ✨

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Sioux Falls, SD

Website

http://www.tonyboer.com/

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