12/29/2025
Sometimes what we need most at the end of life, and in the middle of grief, isn’t answers, it is permission.
Permission to forgive ourselves for what we did or didn’t do.
Permission to release the weight we have been carrying.
Permission to let go… and to allow someone we love to let go too.
Yesterday I visited a friend whose dog had been sick a few days. I came to check on both of them. I sat down on the floor beside this dog, a dog that I helped select before he was adopted by my friend. I love him too.
I could feel it in every part of me that his body was preparing to leave. I knew in my heart that he was dying. As I gently stroked his head and back, he leaned into the love, and I whispered, “It’s okay. You can let go. I’m giving you permission to let go.” And I said, “goodbye.”
It was as if he heard me.
His body softened.
Something shifted. And I knew with every ounce of my being that he was letting go.
What comforted me most was that I knew he wasn’t in pain and I wanted to make sure that everyone else knew that too.
Before I left, I let the people who love him know how I was feeling, and to not stop holding on to hope, but that they also deserved to know what I believed in my heart. I truly believe that when we allow ourselves to acknowledge both, we are met with less shock and more peace.
He died a few hours later.
In hospice care, I witness this often. When permission is given, to rest, to release, to forgive, to let go, something inside finally exhales.
If you are standing in that tender space right now, loving someone who is dying, grieving someone you have said goodbye to, or learning how to forgive, give yourself permission…
To let go.
To say goodbye.
To forgive.
To make peace.
To love deeply… and still live fully.
When we give ourselves or others permission to do what is difficult, we are walking alongside them, instead of watching them do it alone… even when we are saying goodbye to them.
xo
Gabby
www.thehospiceheart.net
