07/28/2025
A day in the life of a therapist: Me!
I'm the one that is usually sharing this story with my clients. But tonight as I stood in my kitchen, waiting for my dinner to come out of the oven,...I stared at my own pile of dishes. The first thought was a tip I heard not that long ago, which was this: People that have tidy homes are those that utilize those extra minutes, if even 2 or 3 minutes... what can you get done while you're waiting for the microwave to beep, the oven to preheat, or whatever.....and so I thought...."What would you tell your clients!?"
Me (therapist): JUST DO THE DISHES!!
Me (human): Daydream, look in the fridge again, watch some more Netflix! 😀
Then.... the 2nd thought pops up.....Run the dishwasher twice! I love my own 'a-ha' moments when I have to put myself in check!
So are the dishes done? No.
Are they started? Yes.
Will I need to run the dishwasher twice? Likely.
Do I feel ashamed that I didn't get them all done? Nah.
Do I feel accomplished? Sure do!!
Below is the story:
RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.
"When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.
I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.
“What are you struggling with?” he asked.
I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”
Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”
I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.
I wanted to have something more substantial.
Something more profound.
But I didn’t.
So I told him, "Honestly? The dishes. It's stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”
I felt like an idiot even saying it.
What kind of grown-ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?
But, my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:
“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”
I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.
“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”
It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.
That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.
I felt like I had conquered a dragon.
The next day, I took a shower lying down.
A few days later, I folded my laundry and put it wherever the f**k they fit.
There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.
Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.
But, at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:
THERE ARE NO RULES.
Ps. Not my dishes 😉
