Dr. Phylis Wakefield

07/24/2022

It is time to write a new story - start showing up different in our relationships in order to have the joyous, harmonious, and connected partnerships we all desire! Check out our latest newsletter for ideas on where to start!

"Despite valiant efforts to be different from the not-so-healthy parents who raised us, we often default to the communication patterns, defenses and reactive stances that our parents role-modeled for us. And if that weren't enough, we often choose partners similar to one of our parents. As Terry Real says, "We always marry our unfinished business.""

UNLOCKING YOUR RELATIONSHIP POTENTIAL Relationships In Action ​ ​ Write a New Story Where did you learn how to be a wife, a husband, a partner? Did you have healthy, loving, con...

06/23/2022

Great blog … great journal prompts! These are the folks that just offered the mindful parenting course that I posted a few days ago that is fabulous! 

Women don’t have many choices when it comes to expressing their anger.

06/18/2022

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this conference. It says it’s for parenting “high need kids” but it’s truly valuable for ALL kids! The live version is over but there is a discount available until tonight for you to purchase it for $97 and then watch it whenever it works for you. I have listened to six of the workshops so far and everyone of them has been excellent! They are between 35 and 45 minutes long usually, so easy to listen to on a drive or a walk. They address common parenting challenges and offer very practical, valuable tools for implementing more effective and loving ways to respond. 

Free Conference - Mindful Parenting and Mental Wellness - October 14-18, 2021

06/13/2022

Logging in a few more miles today towards my 51 mile goal for the 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🥾

06/01/2022

Happy PRIDE Month! Just a little decoration / information that I created for my waiting room! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

05/14/2022

This is a must watch! It’s well worth 15 minutes of your day if you believe in the power of the spoken word, if you value women’s rights, LGBTQ+ rights, human rights….and/or just want to be truly moved and inspired!

04/28/2022

As a couple therapist, one of the most common topics that couples bring to therapy are the conflicts, distress, and conflicting needs around s*x and intimacy. Often there is one partner who is ‘avoiding’ and one partner who is ‘desiring’. These differences may be rooted in the dynamics between the couple, one or both partners having a trauma history, physiological changes, parenting stress, or simply due to ‘set and setting’ issues. Communication is the key to uncovering  and discovering how each partner is feeling, what your needs are and how you can get your needs met. Check out our blog this week (link in bio) for Tips & Tools around s*x & intimacy conversations this week. 
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Each week, Ashley Taggart, MFT and I publish a blog (link in bio) where we address current topics in relationships. We hope you will check it out and subscribe so you don’t miss any of these hot topics!

See you there!

04/01/2022

On our way to a wedding so we thought we’d get in the mood! The Gottman Card Deck is a fun way to pass time and have a fun conversation with your partner. I’ve been married 29 years and I still learn new things about my husband! They are also a great wedding present!

03/28/2022

Sunday Reflection: A reflection on beauty and gratitude. When I look at this photo, I am mesmerized by the beauty, the calmness of the water and the crystal clear reflection. The mirror images of the trees, the mountains and the sky are remarkable. The shapes and colors, the light and darkness are captivating. I love how the trees on the left are reflected in the mountain in the water ~ a refection in a reflection. 😳 Amazing!

My daughter took this photo in Black Butte, Oregon, on another one of her adventures, and every part of me wants to be there right now. I am grateful for her photography skills and her adventuresome spirit.

What are you grateful for today? What image can carry you through this next week with a sense of calm and peace? Take a moment to reflect and enjoy.

03/22/2022

Relationships-In-Action

Wholehearted listening is one of the most valuable skills to practice in your relationship. You can completely transform a conflict or upset when you shift to active listening. When you show up with the intention of receiving what your partner is saying, being willing to be influenced by them, and stop scripting your response in your head, your presence is unmistakable.

“Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person... You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to empty their heart.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, peace activist  

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Don’t miss these fun, helpful and inspirational messages for couples. Sign up for our weekly newsletter and receive a free guide, “The Nine Essential Questions” to unlock your relationship potential! (Link in bio)

wisdom

03/21/2022

Mindful Monday: Mondays are a perfect day to check in with yourself and see how you are truly doing …how you are feeling, what you are thinking, or what sensations you are experiencing. What do you need to take care of yourself right now? I love posts and this one in particular is a wonderful gift for a Monday morning.

03/20/2022

Sunday Reflection: Just wondering …what do dogs really think about ?
No profound words of wisdom in this Sunday Reflection post… this photo just makes me happy and this pup makes me happy.
What makes you happy and what do you think dogs think about? 😉

03/14/2022

Mindful Monday: Mindful Eating is a wonderful way to slow down, enjoy the taste, aroma and textures of your food, enjoy your company if you are with others, improve your digestion, and savor the experience. Here are a few tips:
1. Put your phone down and minimize any other distractions
2. Before eating, take a deep breath and center yourself
3. For the fist few bites, eat in silence and savor the taste, the sensation of the food in your mouth, any aroma
4. Pay attention to the colors, shapes, textures around you
5. Pay attention to when you are satiated
6. Try eating with your non-dominant hand
7. Try a new food or a new beverage
8. Try closing your eyes and take a bit and just notice if anything tastes differently
9. Remember to breathe between bites
10. Take a moment to acknowledge the farmers, the grocery store workers, and everyone who had a part of bringing this food to your table, including yourself.

03/13/2022

Sunday Reflection:
Sometimes just taking a moment to reflect back upon a joyful memory can shift your entire mood. Scroll through your photos and look for something that brought you joy, laughter, a smile or warmed your heart. Every time I look at these photos, my heart soars. We rescued this little pup- who is now 4 years old - and, as you can see, this moment was pure joy. 😍🐶

03/06/2022

Sunday Reflection:
Magical moments. 🌅🌄My daughter often sends me beautiful photos of sunsets and sunrises. I particularly love this one. On a day-to-day basis, she works hard helping others find safe spaces, be treated with justice and respect, and stand up for what she believes in. It is hard, emotionally-charged work, is often met with resistance, and is sometimes draining. What I love about her is that she always finds times to create these magical moments like the one you see in this photo ~ helping her to restore her spirit and believe in the beauty of the world around her. She has surrounded herself with loving and supportive friends to nurture her as well. She truly inspires me. 🌄🤍🌅
Take a moment today to reflect upon your own magical moments and who inspires you?
🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

03/06/2022

🌏🙏🏼🙌🏽🙏🏾🌏

As we move through this beautiful and troubled world, may we vow to be a beacon of peace, a fearless carrier of respect and lovingkindness for all life, a teller of truth, a voice for justice, a protector of those who are vulnerable or targeted. May the power of wisdom, integrity and compassion be our guide.