The Spark Guy, South Lyon, MI (2025)

12/31/2023

🔹 Blow-out fights can easily be prevented.⁠
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🔹You do this by focusing on your partner's communication style, identifying trigger words, and responding to emotional needs.⁠
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🔹Talk about these 3 areas today with your partner to avoid your next huge fight.⁠
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As a relationship coach, I've seen my fair share of couples who just can't seem to communicate effectively. Arguments that start off as innocent discussions quickly turn into heated debates, and before you know it, someone is storming out of the room. But fear not, my dear reader, because I'm here to tell you that there is hope.⁠
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The key to preventing blow-ups from happening is to focus on just three areas:⁠
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-Understanding your partner's communication style.⁠

-Identifying your trigger words.⁠

-Knowing how to respond to your partner's emotional needs.⁠
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Let's start with communication style. During an argument, does your partner push towards a resolution or pull away to process things on their own?

If they're a processor, they need time to think things through, so give them some space. If they're a fixer, they want to solve the problem immediately, so be prepared with organized thoughts to help them do just that.⁠
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Next up: trigger words. We all have certain words or phrases that trigger negative emotions in us. Words like "always," "never," "but," "whatever," and "divorce/separation" are just a few examples of universally triggering words.

But you and your partner will likely have your own unique set of trigger words, so it's important to identify them and avoid using them during arguments.⁠
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Last but not least, emotional needs. Is your partner more logical or emotional? If they're more analytical, you'll need to organize your responses better to address their concerns.

If they're more emotional, give them space to express their feelings without judgment.⁠
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Master these three areas, and you'll find that your arguments don't spiral out of control like they used to.

And if your relationship is struggling with more than just arguments, don't worry.

12/29/2023

🔹Many couples have unfulfilling s*x lives because they don't talk about it.⁠
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🔹S*x and s*xual desires should be celebrated and cherished.⁠
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🔹To improve your s*x life, identify your thoughts on s*x, create a list of likes and dislikes, and share them with your partner.⁠
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Are you tired of having boring, mundane s*x? ⁠
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YOU'RE NOT ALONE! ⁠
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Many people struggle to have a fulfilling and satisfying s*x life, and one of the biggest reasons for this is that they don't talk about it with their partner.⁠
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But it's time to change that! S*x and s*xual desires are something to be celebrated, not taboo. There's nothing like connecting with your partner s*xually, and there's so much more to explore and enjoy.

Plus, your s*x life should only get better as you learn more about your partner's likes and dislikes.⁠
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If you're ready to revamp your s*x life and create a more positive, open environment in your relationship, try these three steps:⁠
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-Identify your thoughts on s*x and where they come from.⁠
-Make a list of your likes and dislikes during s*x.⁠
-Find time to share this list with your partner.⁠
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Taking these steps will get you started on the path to a better s*x life. Just remember to approach the conversation without blame or accusations, and try starting with something like, "I really enjoy our s*x and want to take it to the next level..."⁠
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It may be uncomfortable at first, but once you get past that initial hurdle, you'll be amazed at how much your s*x life improves. So don't be afraid to talk about it - you deserve an amazing s*x life!⁠
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Why do you believe that s*x has such a bad stigma attached to it?

12/28/2023

🔹S*x is a crucial component of a healthy relationship, as it allows partners to connect physically and emotionally on a deeper level.⁠
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🔹Regular s*xual intimacy can strengthen the emotional bond between partners and increase feelings of intimacy and closeness.⁠
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🔹A lack of s*xual activity will lead to feelings of frustration, resentment, and dissatisfaction.⁠
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"We've only had s*x 5 times in the last 12 months…"⁣⁠
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I recently received this message from one of my coaching clients. If you have a similar story, I'm here to help you like I helped them.⁠
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S*x is more than just the physical act itself. It's a complex dance between two people with their own unique preferences, desires, and needs. If you want to improve your s*x life, then you need to understand three key areas that every couple needs to work on.⁠
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First of all, let's talk about libido. There will always be some imbalance between s*x drives, but did you know that 23% of men have a low libido? Knowing your partner's libido type and how to approach them is essential to improving your s*x life.⁠
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Secondly, what type of s*x do you and your partner enjoy? Do you prefer rough, sensual, or intimate s*x?

Not having the right type of s*x could be another reason you're not having s*x as often as you'd like. It's important to communicate and explore what type of s*x each of your likes and dislikes.⁠
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Finally, are you and your partner conservative or adventurous when it comes to s*x?

It's easy to fall into a routine with s*x, but some partners crave exploration and excitement, including s*x toys, new positions, and role-playing. Finding a middle ground that satisfies both partners is crucial.⁠
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Talking about these topics can be uncomfortable at first, but trust me, once you get past the initial awkwardness, you'll be amazed at how easy it becomes. If you're struggling with your s*x life, don't hesitate to reach out to me for help.

Send me a DM!

12/27/2023

🔹Understanding your partner's love language can greatly improve your relationship by helping you give and receive love in a way that resonates with them.⁠
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🔹To figure out your partner's love language, observe what they do to show love to you.⁠
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🔹The most common issue in relationships is using one's own love language instead of understanding and using their partner's love language.⁠
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Do you ever feel like you're speaking different languages when it comes to expressing love in your relationship?

It's not just you! The truth is, we all have our own unique ways of feeling loved and valued, and understanding your partner's "love language" can make all the difference in your relationship.⁠
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But what exactly is a love language? Simply put, it's how we give and receive love. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five primary love languages:⁠
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-Words of Affirmation: These are verbal expressions of love, such as compliments and encouraging words.⁠
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-Quality Time: This is all about spending dedicated, undivided time together.⁠
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-Physical Touch: Physical affection, such as hugs, kisses, and holding hands.⁠
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-Acts of Service: Doing things to help and serve your partner, such as cooking dinner or doing the dishes.⁠
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-Gifts: Giving thoughtful and meaningful gifts to your partner.⁠
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So, how can you figure out your partner's love language? It's actually pretty simple! Just pay attention to the things they do for you.⁠
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For example, do they often give you compliments or tell you how much they love you? Words of Affirmation might be their love language. Do they always make sure to make plans with you and spend quality time together? Quality Time might be their love language. etc.⁠
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The most common issue I see as a relationship coach is couples using their own love language to show love to their partner instead of understanding and using their partner's love language. STOP DOING THIS!⁠
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You can do that by asking yourself, "what is their love language and not mine?" you'll be able to connect with your partner on a deeper level and see amazing results in your relationship.⁠
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Tag your partner so you both can talk about this later.

12/26/2023

What can I say? is the only person I trust my heart to. ❤️❤️❤️

12/23/2023

🔹Reconnecting with your partner is possible and not as difficult as it may seem.⁠
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🔹To connect with your partner, it's important to be intentional and do small things every day.⁠
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🔹Simple things like giving a hug, setting up coffee in the morning, or giving a back rub can help rebuild the connection and can have a lasting impact over time.⁠
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Have you been feeling a bit disconnected from your significant other lately? Do you find yourself wanting to reconnect but don't know where to start?

Well, we've got some great news for you! Reconnecting with your partner is easier than you think, and we've got the proof to back it up.⁠
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I've helped numerous couples reconnect and restore their relationship, and we're here to share with you the secret to their success. The problem with most people is that they try to rush the reconnecting process. ⁠
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To connect with your partner, you have to be intentional about it every single day. It might take some time to restore that connection if you haven't been consistently connecting over the past few weeks or months, but it's possible.⁠
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The simplest way to reconnect with your partner is to embrace the concept I came up with of . This is where you look for small things, every single day, that you can do for your partner. ⁠
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You don't have to plan an extravagant date or clean the house from top to bottom, but you can give your partner a hug when they don't expect it, set up their coffee in the morning, or give them a back rub at the end of a long day.⁠
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All of these are doable things, and by doing them, you can start to reconnect with your partner.

But the key is not to focus on the immediate results. You're in this for the long haul, and you'll be surprised at how much your partner responds to your actions and starts to reconnect with you.⁠
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So, let's get started! What are some simple, unexpected things that you can do for your partner?

Share your ideas in the comments below, and let's help others find ways to reconnect with the ones they love!

12/21/2023

🔹Fighting is a normal part of a successful relationship.⁠
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🔹There is a difference between healthy and unhealthy fighting.⁠
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🔹It is important to identify your own argument style and find a middle ground with your partner.⁠
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If you're in a relationship, chances are you've had at least one argument with your partner. But guess what? That's completely normal! In fact, it's actually a sign of a healthy relationship.⁠
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Think about it this way - if you never had any tension or disagreement with your partner, it would be pretty boring, and there wouldn't be much room for growth.

Just like when you go to the gym and lift weights to build muscle, a little bit of tension can actually help strengthen your relationship.⁠
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Now, there is a difference between healthy and unhealthy fighting. Yelling, screaming, name-calling, personal attacks, stonewalling, and gaslighting are all signs of unhealthy fighting.

If your fights consistently involve any of these behaviors, it can seriously damage your relationship.⁠
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So how do you make sure your fights stay healthy? One tip is to figure out your argument style.

For example, are you a Resolver, who wants to fix the problem and move on, or a Processor, who needs some time and space to work through the conflict? Once you know your style, you and your partner can find a healthy middle ground that works for both of you.⁠
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So next time you and your partner have a disagreement, don't panic! It's all a part of the process of maintaining a healthy, loving relationship. Just remember to communicate openly and be respectful of each other's needs.⁠
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Which argument style are you? Are you a Resolver or a Processor?

12/20/2023

There is only one fish I want to spend the rest of my life with. 🥰🥰🥰

12/19/2023

🔹Make laughter and fun a regular part of your relationship to maintain happiness⁠
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🔹Set aside time for each other and express appreciation and gratitude.⁠
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🔹Embrace change and growth and tackle challenges as a team.⁠
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Being in a relationship can be one of the most amazing experiences of your life. You have someone to share your joys, sorrows, and everything in between. ⁠
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But, let's be real, relationships can also be hard work. So, how do we make sure that the good outweighs the bad? How do we make sure that we're happy in our relationships? Well, here are some tips that have worked for my clients and they will work for you too:⁠
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1) Laugh together:

Laughter truly is the best medicine. Whether it's watching a funny movie, telling jokes, or just being silly together, make sure to incorporate laughter into your relationship.⁠
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2) Prioritize quality time:

With busy schedules, it can be easy to neglect spending quality time together. But, it's important to make an effort to spend time together without distractions.⁠
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3) Show appreciation and gratitude:

It's easy to take our partners for granted, but it's important to show them that we appreciate and are grateful for them. A small gesture such as a heartfelt note, a surprise date, or even a simple "thank you" can go a long way.⁠
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4) Be open to change and growth:

Relationships are constantly evolving, and it's important to be open to change and growth. Be willing to try new things, compromise, and work through challenges together.⁠
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5) Don't forget to have fun:

Relationships can become serious and heavy, but it's important to remember to have fun together. Make sure to make time for activities that you both enjoy and don't be afraid to be spontaneous.⁠

6) Remain Vulnerable:

The only way to grow in a relationship is to step outside your comfort zone. If you are testing those boundaries, you and your partner ARE NOT GROWING! Look for small ways to push those boundaries.
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Remember, relationships are a work in progress and require effort and dedication. But, with a little bit of effort and a lot of love, you can have a happy and fulfilling relationship. So, go out there and spread the love!

12/18/2023

🔹Conflicts in relationships are inevitable.

🔹Most people avoid it or blame their partner.

🔹It’s vital to embrace the situation and look for ways to grow and change from difficult situations.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "no pain, no gain?" Well, it's not just for working out or climbing the corporate ladder - it applies to relationships too! Yes, you read that right. Relationships require effort, understanding, and yes, sometimes a little discomfort.

But, here's the thing, so many people expect relationships to be all sunshine and rainbows. And when conflict inevitably arises, they either avoid it or point the finger at their partner.

Sound familiar?

Well, let's flip the script! Instead of avoiding conflict, let's embrace it. And, let me tell you, when you do, your relationship will only get stronger. When conflict arises, take a step back, process the problem, and look for areas where you can improve.

Ask yourself questions like, "Where am I wrong?" or "What can I learn from this situation?" This type of introspection allows you to grow, both as a person and in your relationship.

Now, you may be thinking, "But my partner isn't doing the same thing."

And, while that may be true, you can only control yourself. Lead by example and stay consistent, and you'll be surprised at how your partner will follow suit.

So, next time conflict arises in your relationship, don't shy away from it. Embrace it and use it as an opportunity for growth. And who knows, you might just come out the other side with a stronger, healthier, and more loving relationship.

Drop an emoji below if this helped you out today. ❤️

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12/16/2023

🔹Blow ups happen when you don't understand your partner's approach to conflict.⁠

🔹Not knowing your partner's trigger words doesn't help.⁠

🔹You can avoid blow up arguments quite easily.⁠
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Have you ever found yourself in an argument that seems to escalate out of nowhere? You and your partner are just having a normal conversation, and then BAM! ⁠
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Suddenly, things are heated and intense. Well, I've definitely been there before, and I know I'm not alone. ⁠
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That's why I'm sharing some of my expert tips for preventing arguments from getting out of control. These tips have helped me and my coaching clients significantly, and I'm confident they can help you too!⁠
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First things first, it's important to understand how your partner approaches conflicts. Do they want to fix things on the spot, or do they need time to process their thoughts and emotions? Knowing this can help you approach the argument in a way that works for them.⁠
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Trigger words can be a major issue in arguments. You know, those words that just set you (and your partner) off? Some common trigger words include "always," "never," "but," "whatever," and "divorce/separation."

Try to avoid using these words and instead, focus on finding a solution.⁠
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Lastly, it's important to consider whether your partner is more logical or emotional. If they are more analytical, be sure to present your thoughts in a clear and organized way.

If they are more emotional, give them space to express their feelings without judging them.⁠
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So there you have it, my top three expert tips for preventing arguments from spiraling out of control. If you're struggling with more than just arguments and need some extra guidance, feel free to reach out to me.

I've worked with hundreds of couples over the years and would love to help you improve all aspects of your relationship. ⁠
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So, keep calm and argue on!

12/14/2023

🔹Being misunderstood by your partner sucks.⁠
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🔹There is a very simple, easy-to-remember formula to prevent this.⁠
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🔹 Pause, Listen, Speak⁠
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Have you ever found yourself saying, "That's not what I said!" during a conversation with your partner?⁠
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Miscommunication is a common issue in relationships, and it often happens because we respond too quickly without fully considering what our partner is saying. To avoid misunderstandings, try following a simple three-step process: pause, listen, and speak.⁠
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First, pause and take the time to really process what your partner is saying. This can be especially important in situations where you and your partner are "figuring things out as you go along" rather than following a script.⁠
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Next, actively listen to your partner without interrupting or finishing their sentences. Show that you are genuinely listening by summarizing what they've said.⁠
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Finally, after you've had the opportunity to slow the conversation down and really listen to your partner, you can speak clearly and thoughtfully, taking into consideration all the information you've gathered. This can help you significantly reduce the risk of miscommunication.⁠
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So, next time you're having a conversation with your partner, remember to pause, listen, and speak. This can help you have more productive and successful conversations and reduce misunderstandings in your relationship.

12/13/2023

🔹Difficult conversations are an important part of any healthy relationship.⁠
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🔹Avoiding difficult conversations can lead to resentment and disconnection in a relationship.⁠
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🔹By approaching difficult conversations with care and empathy, you can work through challenges and strengthen your relationship.⁠
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Are you someone who cringes at the thought of having a difficult conversation with your partner? ⁠
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Trust me, you're not alone. ⁠
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Most partners would rather do just about anything else than sit down and have an uncomfortable talk with our significant other. ⁠
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But here's the thing: difficult conversations are an important part of any healthy relationship.⁠
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Think about it this way: if you're constantly avoiding those tough conversations, you're not really dealing with the issues at hand. And if you're not dealing with the issues, they're just going to keep piling up. ⁠
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Before you know it, you'll have a whole heap of unresolved problems that are likely to cause resentment and disconnection in your relationship.⁠
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So, what's a person to do? ⁠
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Well, first of all, it's important to recognize that having difficult conversations is a normal and necessary part of any relationship. And, believe it or not, they can actually bring you and your partner closer together if you approach them in the right way.⁠
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I know, I know. ⁠
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None of this sounds particularly fun. But trust me, having difficult conversations is much better than burying your head in the sand and hoping the problems will just go away.

By working through challenges and expressing your feelings and needs openly and honestly, you'll be able to strengthen your relationship and build a better future together.⁠
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So, go ahead and take the plunge. Have that difficult conversation with your partner. It may not be easy, but it's worth it for the health and happiness of your relationship.
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12/12/2023

Are you tired of your partner saying "I'm sorry" and feeling like it's just not enough? Don't worry, we've all been there. But fear not, because I'm here to share with you my ultimate guide to apologizing like a pro - say hello to the 6 A's of Apologizing!⁠
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Step 1: Admit you're wrong. Yeah, it sucks to admit when we mess up, but it's an important first step in finding a resolution.⁠
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Step 2: Address their feelings. No matter what your intentions were, your actions had an impact on your partner, and it's important to show empathy and acknowledge their feelings.⁠
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Step 3: Accept responsibility. "I'm sorry" is just the tip of the iceberg - true remorse requires taking the time to understand and reflect on the harm that was caused.⁠
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Step 4: Ask for forgiveness. This step is crucial, but it can't happen until you've completed the first three. And remember, rushing it can actually disrupt the healing process.⁠
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Step 5: Avoid condemnation. It's natural to feel guilty after making a mistake, but don't let that guilt consume you. Everyone makes mistakes, and one mistake does not define your worth as a person.⁠
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Step 6: Adapt a new plan. You made the mistake, so it's up to you to come up with a plan to show your partner that you're committed to making things right and preventing the same mistake from happening again.⁠
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Apologizing isn't always easy, but with the 6 A's of Apologizing, you'll be a pro in no time! Trust me, your relationships will thank you.⁠
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In your opinion, why is it so hard for people to admit when they are wrong?

12/11/2023

That’s true love right there. 😂😂😂⁣
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Are you and your partner Team iPhone or Team Android?

12/09/2023

🔹 All couples struggle at times, no matter what they present to the world.

🔹The worst time to judge your relationship is in a down season.

🔹Each downseason will teach you something new if you open up your interpretation.

From my experience as a relationship coach, There are 4 different seasons every relationship faces. Regardless of where you are currently, here is what you can learn in each season:⁣⁠
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Spring- This is a time of incredible growth in your relationship. Things are exciting and new and have a lot of potential. You and your partner are planting for the future with a lot of joyful anticipation, and you see many bright days ahead for the two of you.⁣⁠
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Summer - This is a time when a lot of fun is happening. You and your partner are going out on a lot of adventures together and enjoying each other presence. Unfortunately, some weeds are trying to cause issues, but you pluck them out immediately and move on.⁣⁠
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Fall- This is a time of harvest. Everything you’ve planted previously is now producing a lot of fruit, and you’re reaping those rewards together. It’s also a time of celebration for all the hard work you’ve put in. You rejoice together for the things that went well and learn from those that didn’t go so well.⁣⁠
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Winter- This is a time of reflection. Things in your relationship are really slow right now. The cold atmosphere and darker days of your relationship can be felt between you and your partner. You reflect on the previous 3 seasons and wonder if you will ever get back to them again.
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I am here to tell you for a fact that if you handle Winters properly, Springs will come. Just don’t make any big decisions in the winters of your life.
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If you are currently in a winter season in your relationship right now, I would have you consider these 3 questions:⁣⁠
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1. What did I use to do for my partner that I no longer do?⁣⁠
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2. Why did I originally love my partner?⁣⁠
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3. How much am I to blame for our ⁣⁠
relationship problems?⁣⁠
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By asking yourself these 3 questions, you start the learning process of what you need to do to get out of your Winter and transition into Spring.⁣⁠
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What season is your relationship currently in?

12/07/2023

🔹Constantly asking your partner to do something is exhausting.⁠
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🔹Nagging does not have to be a part of your relationship.⁠
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🔹Sometimes, it’s you who is the problem.⁠
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“How many times do I have to tell you?” ⁣⁠
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In a perfect world, you would ask for something once, and then it would happen. The problem is that we don’t live in a perfect world, and we surely don’t have a perfect partner.

So, how do you communicate with your partner about something you’ve already told them about without nagging?

⁣⁠Here are 4 steps that will help you reduce or eliminate the amount of nagging you do:⁣⁠
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1. Know your partner’s weakness- ⁣⁠
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While coaching couples, I usually find that clients don’t consider their partner’s strengths and weaknesses. So, if your partner is weak in a particular area and you need something from them, adjust your request to consider their shortcomings.⁣⁠
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2. Ask yourself if you clearly stated what you truly said- ⁣⁠
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Your partner is not a mind reader!!!!! An excellent way to see if your partner clearly understood you is by asking them to repeat the things you just asked them to do. Don’t ask them with any attitude or tone because your partner will react negatively.⁣⁠
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3. Quid pro quo- ⁣⁠
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When you ask your partner to do something, you create a dynamic where you take a more dominant role, and your partner takes a submissive role until your request is completed.

This can mentally put them at a disadvantage because you get what you want, and they might see the request as one-sided. To get better results, offer something you will do for them if they complete your request.⁣⁠
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4. Let it go- ⁣⁠
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If all of these fail, the last thing I would recommend is that you just let it go. If you really think about it, most things we think are a big deal... aren’t a big deal at all.

Letting the issue go would do so much good for your relationship if you didn’t bring up the situation again. I know that’s a tough pill to swallow, but would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?⁣⁠
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Do these 4 things, and you will find yourself nagging your partner less or, quite possibly, not nagging them at all.⁠
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Which of the 4 will you do this week?

12/06/2023

I have no idea how still has all her skin. 😱

Who takes the hotter shower? You or your partner?

The Spark Guy