Robyn Watchorn Newbrey, LLC

11/14/2025

Midlife is hard. A lot comes up. Healing is possible. Don’t avoid the heavy issues. Growth is available. Check out my podcast this week 343 with therapist

11/13/2025

11/07/2025

11/05/2025

Self-blame usually develops as a survival strategy.

When you grew up, dated, or lived in environments where no one took accountability or conflict felt unsafe or unpredictable. Where repair didn’t happen or you were punished for having needs.

Your nervous system learned that feeling out of control made you powerless and that isn’t safe.

So self-blame became a strategy to protect yourself.

Because if it’s your fault, you can…
- fix it
- smooth it out
- stay connected
- avoid backlash or punishment
- prevent abandonment

This was self-protection but it was disguised as responsibility.

And for a long time, that worked…and probably worked well.
As in it kept you safe enough to survive relationships where repair wasn’t an option.

But now? You’re not in the same life anymore.

And the instinct to collapse into blaming yourself doesn’t protect you - it just disconnects you from yourself.

As we head into the holiday season, where old roles, old patterns, and old family dynamics try to pull you back into who you used to be…remember this…

You don’t need to carry the emotional labor this time.
You don’t need to be the one who holds everything together.
You don’t need to blame yourself to feel safe in your connection with others (and if you do, the connection probably isn’t safe).

You get to stay with yourself now.
Not out of fear but out of self-trust!!

We’re not going back into survival for the holidays. 🖤

11/04/2025

Credit:

11/02/2025

10/26/2025

DBTSkills. What is Distress Intolerance ?
DBT provides excellent skills for Distress Tolerance - though knowing a bit more about what Distress Intolerance is can also help.
This is from the Australian organisation CCI. Centre for Clinical Effectiveness. All of their materials are evidence -based, meaning they have been developed after rigorous research & testing.

Sourced & curated by DBT-Dialectical Behavioural Therapy.

All rights reserved.

10/22/2025

10/22/2025