05/03/2019
This!
IF YOU CANNOT LOVE, AT LEAST LISTEN
If you cannot love someone now, at least listen to them. Don't force yourself to love them; that would be false. Breathe. Reconnect with your own presence. Feel yourself grounded in the body, the breath, the earth. And hear them out, even if you don't agree with them. Honour your own feelings too. And maybe at some point, through deep listening, you begin to understand their perspective, their experience, their journey, their pain, their struggles, even if you don't like what they say, or agree. You have feared like them, felt deep sorrow like them, stayed present as powerful waves of frustration, despair, even rage moved through you. So even though you have different stories, different lives, you can perhaps begin to relate to their deepest experience, understand their most primal longings, for love, for connection, to be understood, to feel safe, to be held. You don't have to condone their words or behaviours. You don't even have to see them again. But in this moment, can you stay present? Not trying to love them, but listening, rooted in the presence. Stepping inside their shoes for a while, knowing that you are safe in your own. Because for many people, being listened to feels very much like being loved. The fact that you are interested in their experience speaks volumes. And when people begin to feel heard, and valued, amazing things can happen, the way some flowers open up each morning in the light of the Sun.
- Jeff Foster
