08/02/2024
Perfectly written explanation of a newborn’s needs.
Whatever society tells you about the idea that babies should be able to sleep alone, play alone etc, the biological reality is that they are exterogestates!
When babies are held in our arms they thrive. They are biologically programmed to expect to be in our arms (day and night). Unfortunately we usually aren’t told about that before our babies arrive with us. Therefore - if we put our baby down and they cry, we are confused. If our baby wants back to the breast frequently, even when we know they are well fed, we think there must be something wrong - when in fact babies are usually just indicating good attachment needs.
We understand more about these security and attachment needs now than we used to in the past. Unfortunately there is still a lot of parenting information out there encouraging us to put babies down, not spoil our babies, make them independent etc. This kind of information came from the earliest days of psychology and were common in the 19th century. We now know that this was misguided. A child cannot be independent until they have the physical and psychological capacity for that independence. We can’t force something that doesn’t exist yet. We can’t teach a child to settle on their own if they don’t have the brain development to do that yet.
For the first few months a baby is best described as an exterogestate. Part of their gestation is in the womb. Part of it is on a caregiver’s body. By providing those loving arms and body we allow babies to feel secure, which means they can switch on growth hormone, learn and develop.
It’s ok that your young baby is always wanting to be in your arms. This is normal. Overwhelming at times, but normal.