10/20/2025
Everyone talks about breaking cycles... but no one really talks about what comes with that.
Here are 8 things you might feel when you’re the one breaking the cycle in your family:
1️⃣ You’ll grieve people who are still alive. You’ll grieve the version of your family you wish that you had. You’ll grieve for the person they were, and for the relationship you thought you would have with them.
2️⃣ You’ll question yourself constantly. Boundaries feel unfamiliar at first. Saying “no” can make you feel guilty even when it’s the right thing to do.
3️⃣ Survival mode can sometimes feel like home. When chaos has always felt normal, calm can feel strange. Nervous systems don’t heal overnight. It takes time to trust the peace.
4️⃣ You’ll hold both love and anger. You can love them so much and still be hurt by what addiction brought into your life. Both can be true.
5️⃣ You’ll have to learn what safety feels like. You may find yourself teaching your inner child that not every silence means danger, not every argument means loss.
6️⃣ You’ll feel guilt for choosing a different path. You may worry that choosing peace means turning your back on them, but it doesn’t. You might feel like choosing to heal means you’re “too good”. It doesn’t. You’re just growing, and that can feel lonely sometimes.
7️⃣ You’ll see the patterns more clearly. You’ll start noticing the small shifts in the way you respond, communicate, or forgive differently… and that’s how you know you’re healing.
8️⃣ You’ll start to love your family in new ways. Not through trying to rescue them, but through empathy, honesty, and hope.
Healing changes how you love, not who you love.
If this sounds familiar, know this:
You’re allowed to be the first person in your family to do things differently. It’s not always going to be pretty, but it will always be worth it.
So… set the boundary. Check out a support group. Do the work. Keep showing up. Even when it’s messy, even when it’s hard… keep. showing. up.
You can love them and love yourself, too. 🤍
