05/05/2024
Feels
I saved this on 9/28/21. It still makes me tear up to read it.
We had the last “talk”, about two weeks prior, after that last trip and the final texting to a drug addled ho**er while sitting next to me in the airport. I had not even reacted, just looked at him and said wow and walked away from the Sociopath.
We were on our way home. The trip was a reward for two of the closest employees. I look back and they were trying to get rid of me. Both of them wanted whatever he spent on me and did with me. Ha ha ha. I now can see the jealousy on their faces. The weird comments made. I was so clueless.
We had so much fun, but when they came around his whole demeanor changed. It’s was so odd.
We spoke about it when we got home that day. A very calm talk. I asked him why he was still cheating (never did I say with a ho**er, drug addict or whatever ). He said those words, because I want to, because I can. He had finally very calmly taken the mask off during that talk. That was the day I knew for sure what the monster was. He had told me he was a Sociopath, about two years before that but I thought I could fix him. I had never seen him completely without the mask, until this moment!
A few days later, I finally looked a bit at his phone and around me. The things I found were horrific. I stopped looking at it all. I couldn’t handle what I was seeing. He pretended to be trying stil, but began barely coming home. He could see I was not trying anymore. I was done. It took another month for me to ask him to leave. In that time there was mixture of incredible fear, anxiety, and depression. I didn’t sleep much and felt like I was in a fog day and night. I decided to quit smoking ha ha ha. I figured if this was the worst of my life then let’s really see how strong I am. The sociopath was shocked by this. His comment was that I was trying to make myself more attractive to others. Smh.