05/16/2022
Detach with love? Be empathetic? You can’t be serious?! After ALL they’ve done to me — no way! Eh, keep reading👇
Most family members of an addicted person have been trying to change that person for a long time, and it hasn't worked. We are involved with other people but we don't control them. We simply can't stop people from doing things if they choose to continue.
Trying to “control” their addiction or problem will only make it WORSE, drive you crazy, expose you to betrayal trauma, heartache, and leave you feeling helpless, resentful and .. truth bomb💣: engage in “enabling” behaviors.
Detachment with love means caring enough to allow them to learn from their mistakes. It also means being responsible for our own welfare and making decisions without ulterior motives - the desire to control our loved one.
Understood this way, detachment with love plants the seeds of helping your loved one with recovery. When we refuse to take responsibility for other people's problems, we allow them to face the natural consequences of their behavior.
The key 🔑 is: Allow your loved one to face the consequences, be empathetic about the consequences (understand it’s a disease), uphold your boundaries, put yourself first.
