It all started just by trusting my Step-Father......
On August 1, 2001 my Mom had a suspicion and came to me to ask just six weeks after I turned 10 years old if my Step-Father (at the current time) had been touching me inappropriately? For her to ask such a question felt such a relief for me. I immediately starting to cry and said, “Yes”. I was so afraid to tell her before, just from the fear of the unknown. I kept the secret for two long years. Two years of my life that I will never get back and the memories are still haunting to this day. The sexual abuse from my Step-Father happened from when I was 7 to 9 years old and I finally had the chance to escape the pain of sexual abuse by telling my Mom at this point. On August 4, 2001 my Step-Father was arrested. My life was turned for the better from then on, it was just the long haul ahead of me of healing the nightmares that I had no idea were coming. It took 14 months for the detectives to gather reports and evidence. Court started on October 21, 2002...the day I testified. I was only 11 years old when I had to face my abuser. I remember feeling so nervous; however, I was so proud to stand up for myself to let people know the truth. On October 24, 2002 he was convicted of rape first degree and sexual offense first degree and was given 23 years and 9 months. He was also convicted of indecent liberty w/child and was given 1 year and 6 months. Therefore, a total incarcerated time given was 25 years two months and 25 days. On February 25, 2012 I created a page called, “Help Within Abuse - Ambra Janney’s Page”. Later on it was changed to “Help Within Abuse”. I believe this was the starting point of being an advocate to victims of sexual abuse. Although, at the time of creating this page, I was still in therapy, and that was a way to to let myself heal throughout support and dedication. On April 7, 2012 just about two years after high school graduation, I made a video on YouTube telling the world about my story called, “It's OK to tell”! It was the very first time I had spoke publicly by sharing my story. Since then, I have been able to share my story to help so many victims of sexual assault around the world! On August 10, 2015 just 3 months after dating my husband, I published my memoir book called, “Help Within Abuse”. My goal was not to get ‘famous” or get recognized with such bravery. My main goal was to just openly share my story so it can be a guidance to someone else that may needed the help in recovery. I spent 6 years in darkness of running away from my past and I know how it feels to scream for help, but too scared to come forward to seek the guidance. To this day, I’m so thankful for the guidance that directed me to my therapist. I spent almost 8 long years in therapy digging into the most darkest cracks of my life. In all honesty, you can not control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude towards what happened to you. Sexual abuse creates fear, shame, and guilt in the victimized child or adult. Physical damage may heal, but the emotional and psychological scars remain hidden for a long time, and sometimes those scars can be deep within our souls. Perhaps, the most severe damage is caused by betrayal from someone you knew or once loved that hurt you tremendously. I remember being so angry at God for many years of asking why. It created so much bitterness and hatred that I was not the person I wanted to be. It took many years throughout struggling before I realized God has a purpose for everyone. Just because something traumatic happened to me, does not mean God wasn’t God, and it does not mean God failed to be the protector. I had to learn that God’s plan for everyone's life is different. He allows things to happen to prove He’s mighty and for us to seek Him for advice. His plan for my life, I believe was to grow up to use what happened to me and bring forth being a witness to other people throughout my abuse. I used something so negative and turned it into something positive. However, I do believe His plan is the greatest! I say that because if the abuse never happened, my family would of never moved away. Moving away to a different county lead me to meet my husband who I had originally met in the 7th grade and later on had dated not once but twice. Mentally, I was not ready for a relationship the first time. On May 20, 2017 was the day my husband and I got married. I used to be so fearful into dating and thought I would never see a day of marriage, but throughout therapy and God’s power, it happened and I am so thankful for God’s mercy! July 28, 2018 was the day God gave me a purpose of being a Mother. I gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby boy! His smiles and laughter everyday is the beauty of light covering my past of darkness!!
You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you. Sexual abuse creates fear, shame and guilt in the victimized child. Physical damage may heal but the emotional and psychological scars remain for a long time. Perhaps the most severe damage is caused by betrayal. I would want my books to help others, and not for people to feel sorry for me. The good Lord lead me to this to reach out to other victims, and everything happens for a reason! Support me and like my page. Thanks!! *Matthew 6:14*
