Paul Hugens Authentic Counselor

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06/04/2018

The difference between Counseling and Psychotherapy.

Helping professionals have a jargon, and many clients not wanting to look uninformed, simply don’t ask about the process. Shouldn’t the details be left up to the person doing the work?

I don’t ask my mechanic about fuel injector settings, or my baker about the time for bread to rise.

But, sitting in a session is different. YOU are the point. You are what we are working on, so it is reasonable to understand what a counselor/therapist is doing, what he or she thinking, how they evaluate you. It can be helpful to have an understanding.

Counseling is a process of helping a client sort out a problem in their current life situation. The focus is on situational facts and people involved. If there are conflicts, we are trying to clarify the different points of view. Hopefully, the best choice or decision is reached by better understanding of the landscape in current life events.

It is current, it is topical, and it on the surface.

Psychotherapy is a related but different process. We are concerned with deeply held beliefs from the past which are influencing your experiences in a negative way. It is fundamental, it is more integral to who you are. It goes to the core of your most deeply held beliefs to help YOU create a change in YOU. (And that’s what you came in for, right?) Clearly, this is no easy task.

It is historical, it is personal, and digs deep.

Can it be both? Can a person’s integral core beliefs impact their current life decision making process? Most certainly it can.

Many therapists, including myself, will often stop and ask themselves, “Is this a counseling issue, or a psychotherapy issue?” Asking the question will act as a guide; this is one of the ways we work.

Going forward, if you are sitting with a therapist/counselor, it may be valuable to understand which direction YOU two are going? If you cannot tell, ask! There is nothing wrong with checking the compass settings of your therapist.

After all, YOU are the point.

Most Sincerely,
Paul Brooke Hugens, MA

Paul Brooke is a Psychotherapist/Counselor located in Stuart, Florida.

He can be reached at 772 708 6933 or Paul@Hugens.com

05/25/2018

Hello Everyone, You may or may not be aware, but there is a great deal of political discord in Nicaragua, (A country I occasionally visit to teach some Psychology Classes). Recently I was asked to write a quick piece for the community there about how to talk to children and elders about the situation,(riots and shootings by police.) Here it is.

What to say to the very young and the very old:

As political tensions and violence mount in Nicaragua, we are faced with a question that is always present but seems especially poignant right now. How do we protect the most vulnerable from the evils that surround us.

By Vulnerable, I mean children and elderly, by Evils I mean death, destruction and discord which cannot be hidden from them. Anyone who turns on the news or in some places even looks out at the street, knows for certain that trouble is brewing in their world.

The very young, infirmed, or very old may not have the resources to comprehend what is happening, if it is a good thing or a bad thing. Perhaps what the will be most aware of is the stress that is effecting those who care for them.
So here are some tips:

1) Do not lie: Children and the Elderly know when you are lying; many of them rely more closely on intuitive cues such as body language and facial expressions that you cannot hide. Lying about situations, will only serve to aggravate and confuse them. And most likely will make you feel worse about yourself which they will surely pick up on.

2) Keep it simple: The simplest and easiest explanations will be the best. For example, you could say. “The people outside are Angry because they don’t feel that they are being heard by the people in charge.” Be prepared that you may get responses that have a simplicity and wisdom you might not expect.

3) Stay calm yourself: Realize that children, the elderly, and the infirm are going to be more sensitive to the environment in the home than anywhere else. You may not be able to stop what’s going on outside, but as an adult, you are responsible to navigate your own fears and feelings. It’s hard, but try breathing, try stepping away, try not vent your frustrations to those who are dependent upon your stability.

4) Be reassuring: All anyone really wants to know that is that they will be safe and cared for. Let your loved ones know that they are safe and that you will protect them. It may do well to remind yourself as well.

Paul Brooke Hugens, MA
is a professor of Psychology at Keiser University in Nicaragua
and also has a Private Psychotherapy Practice

05/22/2018

The selection of a therapist is an important decision, and I have long felt that the fit between a client and therapist is crucial for progress.

Do not be afraid to ask questions, especially early on, you need to know the other person. We can not have a connection unless we know the other. And, it is the connection that heals more than any technique, method or knowledge.

If they are unable, or unwilling, or even can not say 'I don't know', perhaps this is a road you should look at closer.

Know that you are always worth the care of a honest response.