Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, LMFT, CEDS

Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, LMFT, CEDS Licensed Therapist | Speaker | Author
Self-Acceptance and Eating Disorders Specialist

Alli Spotts-De Lazzer is a licensed mental health therapist, eating disorders expert, author, and speaker with nearly two decades of experience. Her credentials include Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, Certified Eating Disorders Specialist (CEDS), and CEDS-Approved Consultant. She is the lead author of My Child Has an Eating Disorder: An Essential G

uide for Parents of Kids, Teens, and Adults (Bloomsbury, in press), the author of MeaningFULL: 23 Life-Changing Stories of Conquering Dieting, Weight, & Body Image issues, and a contributor to Body Image and Self-Esteem. A Psychology Today columnist and frequent public speaker, Alli translates research-backed information into clear, accessible guidance for families and professionals. As such, she has been frequently quoted as an expert across major media outlets.

04/16/2026

Wait… a trend involving food I actually support? 👀

You might’ve heard of “almond mom”—
🍽️ food rules
🍽️ “good” vs “bad” foods
🍽️ eating in a restrictive, controlled way

And now there’s this shift → “butter mom”

✨ cooking together
✨ all foods fit
✨ more connection with self, others, and food, too

I was recently quoted about this in Newsweek, and what stands out most isn’t the butter…

It’s the shift away from food fear
and toward relationship—
a positive one with food and with your kids. 💛

Because when food isn’t moralized,
kids get to learn something really important:
they can trust themselves and feel good around it.

And honestly?
That’s a pretty powerful thing.

Read more about this new trend: Link in bio.
https://www.newsweek.com/what-is-butter-mom-gen-z-latest-90s-aesthetic-11793246

04/14/2026

Okay wait… this happened 👀

I’m now teaching in the Master of Clinical Psychology program at Antioch University Los Angeles and last week a student said:

“Professor Spotts-De Lazzer…”

And I had a moment 😅

Because yes… technically correct.
But also… it felt very formal, very long, and a little strange.

So we’re simplifying things over here—
Professor Alli 💛

Still getting used to it… but I have to admit, it’s a pretty special role to step into.

04/14/2026

Parents—this might change how you think about social media 👀

It’s not just one app.
It’s all of them.

Platforms are designed to:
📱 keep kids scrolling
📱 encourage comparison
📱 make it hard to stop

Even recent legal rulings are starting to reflect what many families have felt for years—
These platforms aren’t neutral.

So what actually helps?

✨ not just screen time limits
✨ not just parental controls
✨ but ongoing engagement—with your kid

Talking, checking in, staying involved.

Because there’s no “magic number” for screen time…
but there is a difference when kids feel connected to and talk with you. 💛

04/09/2026

Unpopular opinion… pranking someone usually isn’t funny 👀

Last week reminded me: April Fools can seem harmless, but a lot of jokes rely on taking advantage of someone’s trust, emotions, or expectations.

And for some people, that doesn’t feel funny… it can feel:
💬 embarrassing
💬 confusing
💬 or even hurtful

Humor can bring people together, but not when it comes at someone else’s expense.

There’s a difference between laughing with someone and laughing at them.

I’m curious how you see it—
Where do you think that the line is for what’s funny and what’s not when April Foolsing (or any other pranking) someone? 💭👇

04/08/2026

My face changed in a moment… 👀

And it’s a reminder of how quickly appearance can shift—
which is why tying your worth to how you look can feel so unstable.

Self-esteem based on appearance can see-saw… a lot.

Over time, I’ve learned that:
✨ self-acceptance creates steadiness
✨ knowing your values gives you something solid to stand on
✨ who you are doesn’t change: how you look can change in a flash

What you build internally?
That’s what lasts 💛

04/07/2026

Hot take: High self-esteem might not be the goal 👀

We’re taught to build “high self-esteem”—
but self-esteem is just your opinion of yourself… and opinions can change. A lot.

Sometimes one’s opinion of oneself is low (even if you think they are amazing and awesome!)
Sometimes one’s opinion of oneself in unrealistically high.
Either way… they can wobble.

So what can actually keep you steady?

Self-acceptance
✨ knowing who you are beyond how you look
✨ staying grounded even when things change

Because life changes fast, and so our opinions of ourselves can, too.
This smashed face of mine happened in a second, but I still showed up for classes, committees, podcasts, and all sorts of stuff after. A messed-up face doesn’t affect what I have to share or learn.
Your worth, what you have to say, and who you are don’t have to wobble.
this (yes, even this 👀) changed in a moment.

04/06/2026

What if control isn’t actually making you feel safe? 👀

A lot of us think that if we just do everything “right,” we’ll finally feel okay.

But sometimes that control is actually…
an illusion of safety.

What if instead of relying on control, you started:
✨ getting to know yourself
✨ understanding what you actually need
✨ accepting what’s already there

Because if you stop forcing yourself into one narrow path, you might find there are more options than you thought 💭

Self-acceptance over control isn’t giving up—it’s opening up 💛

04/03/2026

If someone you love is struggling with eating, body image, or mental health issues, there isn’t necessarily a “right” thing to say.

What might help:
💬 listening without trying to solve it
💬 letting them feel heard, not corrected
💬 resisting the urge to give advice (unless they ask)
💬 staying present, even when it feels uncomfortable

It might not feel like “enough”…
but being someone who truly listens can make more of a difference than you think 💛

04/02/2026

Boundaries don’t have to be complicated… 👀

“Ouch.”

It might sound simple, but it communicates a lot:
✨ that something didn’t feel okay
✨ that a line was crossed
✨ that you’re paying attention to your own feelings
✨ that something felt bad to you

And the best part? You can say it however feels natural—
softly, directly, even a little playfully.

It’s not about having the perfect boundary script…
It’s about starting to notice and respond in a way that communicates you’re not OK about what happened, was said, etc. 💭

03/31/2026

What if anxiety isn’t the enemy… 👀

A lot of people try to get rid of anxiety as quickly as possible—
push it down, distract from it, make it go away.

But anxiety isn’t always something “bad.”
It can actually be information 🧠

It might be pointing to:
✨ something that feels unsafe or uncertain
✨ a boundary that needs attention
✨ a need that isn’t being met
✨ something your brain is trying to process
✨ or something else that might be important to you

The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety—
sometimes it’s to understand what it’s trying to tell you 💭

03/30/2026

Big news… 👀

After nearly 20 years in private practice, I’m stepping into a new role—
I’ll be joining Antioch University Los Angeles as an adjunct faculty member.

Getting to bring real-world clinical experience into the classroom—and work with the next generation of therapists—feels incredibly meaningful 💛

And yes… I might be answering to “Professor Alli” now 😅

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