05/25/2022
How to Talk to Children About Tragic Events
I have put together some quick tips here on how to talk to children following a tragic event. Sadly, this is a revised version of something I originally posted after the Newtown, CT shooting and reposted after Parkland.
As difficult to be as it is, our role as adults is to reassure our children that this event is highly unlikely to occur and that many things are done to ensure their personal safety. This is not to say that parents should act as though nothing has happened, but it is important to present themselves as confident in providing a safe home and that they can manage the anxiety, sadness, outrage, or whatever feelings they hold. Children read their parents' feelings and react.
In front of young children who know nothing about these events:
1) Avoid bringing up the events of the weekend when they are within listening range.
2) We advise that parents not turn on the TV or radio to find more details if their children are around.
For those children who are aware of the events particularly older children: Your answers need not be long responses, leave room for the child to ask more about what you’ve said. This will guide you in knowing what the child is thinking about.
1) Ask them what they think happened or heard, and what it means for them?
2) Respond to their statements and their concerns.
3) Focus on their current level of safety in their school and home.
4) When children ask about the injured? Try saying something like: “People who are injured are taken to hospitals and cared for by trained professionals.”
5) Focus on the helpers: “There are lots of people who are trained as rescue workers, police, health care workers and mental health professionals to support the families.“
Of course, if you have concerns about your child, call your pediatrician.
I hope I never have to write this again. Thoughts and prayers for victims and families do not feel like enough.
