12/17/2025
A small, everyday example of this came up for me recently.
Someone asked how a haircut turned out. It wasn’t great — the stylist was new — but instead of avoiding the conversation, I responded honestly and kindly. I acknowledged the learning curve, shared what didn’t quite work, and offered a way to make it better next time.
Later, I was told it would have been easier to just say nothing.
But here’s the thing:
when we avoid honest conversations just to keep the peace, we don’t actually regulate our nervous system — we carry the discomfort instead. And nothing improves.
Regulated communication isn’t harsh.
It’s clear, respectful, and solution-oriented.
Avoidance may feel calmer in the moment — but growth, repair, and learning require presence.
This applies to relationships, parenting, work, and everyday life.