Goodfield Instituut Nederland

01/30/2026

Valentine's Day, also called Saint Valentine's Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine, is celebrated annually on February 14. An idea for giving or receiving a nice present is one or all three of these books, Relationship: A Survival Guide, available on Amazon.

I wrote three short, direct, informative, funny, and quick reads on topics that face us all. It's about people and their relationships. They offer a direct, honest evaluation of the speed bumps and potholes of relationships. The books "cut to the chase," targeting any relationship, be it personal or professional, dealing with the true feelings and motivations that drive people together or apart.

My own and clinical experience as a psychologist provide the reader many insights into how a relationship can be made even better. I am an expert in this area, having spent more than half a century in a relationship. Most all failed for one reason or another. Why?

I will share with you the secrets to my outstanding catastrophes, detailed in terms of principles, so that the names of those foolish enough to have mated, mingled, or married with me sometime can be spared the embarrassment and exposure.

In all books, you will find cartoons of my little friends I call "Reals". Characters that leaked out of my unconscious. The "Real" evolved over time as I thought about life situations and ways to sort them out.

Volume One Relationships: A Survival Guide offers both insight and answers to our daily challenges with honesty, humor, wit, and wisdom. It logically prepares the readers to explore their own relationships. Be it Love, Lust, or Like, on a personal or professional level, we live with people who define us as we define ourselves.

The GIVE Test, presented at the end of the book, will open you and your mate to the truth that is often hidden deep within you both! New discussions on basic concerns and desires will clarify and offer a new look at the person with whom you share or might share your life.

Volume Two, Real Love, offers insights that might explain past heartaches and make a good relationship EVEN better. Little things count. They add up to a simple, clear message: "I not only love you, but I also want to care for you and your needs on a daily basis." These cartoons and comments of mine guide us in the direction of the Love Boat and away from a trip on the Titanic.

Volume Three, Real Love: 101 Ways to Know It, Show It, and Keep It!, provides us with 101 lighthearted but inspiring ways to add value and meaning to the central connections at the heart of our lives - LOVE. Think of this as a cookbook, filled with illustrated recipes for creating and enjoying intimate adult relationships. It's a highly personal set of ideas that can help increase happiness.

Some of these thoughts and cartoons presented here can save your emotional life! They sure did mine. A big apology to all of my former teachers, of course!

01/20/2026

Food for thought,

Wikipedia, "The parable of the blind men and an elephant originated in the ancient Indian subcontinent, from where it has widely diffused. It is a story of a group of blind men who have never come across an elephant before, learn and conceptualizing what the elephant is like by touching it. Each blind man feels only a different part of the elephant's body, such as the side or the tusk. They then describe the elephant based on their partial experience, and their descriptions are in complete disagreement on what an elephant is. In some versions, they suspect the other person is dishonest and come to blows. The moral of the parable is that humans have a tendency to project their partial experiences as the whole truth, ignore other people's partial experiences, and one should consider that one may be partially right and may have partial information."

So it is on some level regarding the 12 different Goodfield Personality Types. So much of our life and strategies relate to our perceptions of the world around us. Context determines meaning, and perception determines reality. This leaves a lot of room for interpretation of what we see as reality.

The heart is learning to overcome old learning. What we have learned and what we have seen through our psychological filters becomes a reality-based foundation for many of our decisions and actions in life. Regardless of the personality type a person falls into, health and happiness, and a good life are as available to one as they are to another.

As human beings, our needs are in principle the same. Abraham Maslow listed what he called the hierarchy of needs. In his book, A Theory of Human Motivation (originally published in Psychological Review, 1943, Vol. 50 #4, pp. 370–396). He lays out what he feels are the essentials for all people to aspire towards him live by.

"There are at least five sets of goals, which we may call basic needs. These are briefly physiological, safety, love, esteem, and self-actualization. In addition, we are motivated by the desire to achieve or maintain the various conditions upon which these basic satisfactions rest and by certain more intellectual desires."

Of course, all of these basic needs are influenced by our perceptions of reality and by our experiences in pursuing these goals, both personally and professionally. If, when we aspire to love, our experience is, on some level, a feeling of rejection or failure, then what we think about these opportunities in the future is shaped by our past experience. The same is true, of course, for all of the aspects of our fundamental needs and goals.

Past experience, educational opportunity, socioeconomic status, family history, religious upbringing, etc. Are all factors in the way we perceive the opportunities and challenges we face on a daily basis?

Early programming relates to the context in which our initial and primary influences shape the direction we take and the successes we achieve in meeting the basic goals of life, as put forward by Maslow.

©1/20/2026 Goodfield Institute LLC

01/19/2026

My time in the joint

Ford Foundation funded the project that put me behind bars at California State prison at San Quentin for almost two years, working with 100 of the brightest convicts, mostly convicted killers, among the 3000 prison population!

My mentor, S. I. Hayakawa, later to become a United States Senator from California, suggested my name for the job.
It was one of the most interesting and intense training experiences of my professional life, without a doubt! And clearly, one of the most potent and somewhat dangerous instructional experiences of my life.

I thought, “Abnormal Psychology” and ”Major and Minor Deviance.”
Occasionally, one of the inmates or convicts, as they preferred, would put his arm up in the air and shout, “Oh yeah, I did that!” Followed almost immediately by another convict shouting, “Dummy up, punk, I’m trying to listen to the professor speak!”
As most of the men were convicted murderers, there was usually silence following that exuberant outburst!

12/17/2025

1) Make a list of what you think is at the core of your blues or
sadness.
2) List the things that you have done to address these issues.
3) List those areas where you found some helpful answers that
helped in the past.
4) Is there anything in that list that might be useful for you
NOW at this moment?
5) List those people who are alive now and are relevant to your
life today
6) Write down the obstacles to making contact now.
7) Now ask yourself, just how significant are those obstacles
really?
8) Would contact make you feel better in your life today?
9) Be honest with yourself. What is really stopping you now?
10) Remember, in many cases, if you’re sad, the important
people around you are probably as well.

When you find yourself in a situation like this, remember my favorite suggestion when action is necessary—DOIT!

All the best, Barry A. Goodfield, Ph.D.

©12/17/2025 BGOODFIELD

10/28/2025

Early Christmas shopping? Maybe an idea to buy my books! I wrote serious and funny books. Take a look.

Online shopping from a great selection at Books Store.

10/26/2025

What's important

I've been alive for a long time; I just celebrated by 84th birthday, and it's time to reflect and draw a few conclusions about what is truly important in life.

Wanting to involve myself in plenitude, which is classic to reflections on life, is not very difficult. It returns to the tried-and-true reflection on what makes life worthwhile and worth living.

At the top of my list, and I'm sure many of yours, is family. They are the ones who shape our values, guide our direction, and support us as we navigate life's challenges.
The foundation of values comes from family. That is not to say, of course, that we cannot exist without that foundation, but it certainly does support us as we move forward, shape our relationships and values, and guide our direction in life.

Courage: this is the ability to stand firm and clear in the face of adversity and challenges to our fundamental beliefs in ourselves and our basic values.
As a psychotherapist, I have seen heroes of all sizes and shapes across four continents. Be it a child struggling with oppression or a young man or woman showing the courage to say no when their world insists on saying yes when no was the correct answer!

Believe me when I say, there is a 'hero' in each and every one of us. It's not a matter of if, but when, we will rise to the occasion and show our courage.
If you doubt that, I wish you had been with me and witnessed some of the people who, in their moment of crisis, shared their stories about their parents, relatives, partners, children, and so on. Important adults, people in power, stood tall and stood up for themselves, their views, and their values! There were times when I finished a client session, wiping tears from my eyes, deeply touched by the words and their courage, which came directly from their hearts, revealing the actual ability people have to press on and be the people they are.

Let us never forget the magic of what we see, the potential, and the strength that lies within us. Prepare yourself for the day when you fully embrace this person, and never let anyone tell you differently!
Listen to the sound of your heartbeat and open yourself to the wisdom of what you know is right. Hear me, have hope and faith in yourself, and know that you are not alone. There is at least one person in this world who believes in you!

Yes, we all have our flaws and make mistakes, but that's what makes us unique and wonderful. Embrace your imperfections, learn from your mistakes, and open your heart and mind to the beautiful gift that is you. Let it go, hear it, and then let it out. It is you; you are the gift of God.

Now, if you don't like what you see, hear, or feel, make the changes. It is a decision NOW! I've seen people all over the world find their path. Ask yourself, why not me? I leave you with my favorite four-letter word-DOIT! This word encapsulates the power of action, the courage to change, and the belief in oneself. It's a reminder that you can shape your own life.

I'm Dr. Barry Austin Goodfield, and I believe in you!

10/26/2025

MY BASIC BELIEFS ABOUT LIFE �


1) GOD - Gives us a special purpose

2) SELF - Gives us our definitions

3) FAMILY - Gives us our basic values

4) COUNTRY - Gives us our foundation

5) COURAGE – Gives us direction & focus

6) TRUST – Gives us love and a foundation

7) SEXUALITY – Gives us meaning in contact

8) TIME – Gives us hope and opportunity

9) LOVE – Gives us a chance to really be ourselves

10) HONOR – Gives us a foundation for all above

Dr. Barry A. Goodfield October 26, 2025

09/15/2025

As a seasoned psychologist and psychotherapist with nearly fifty years of practice across three continents, I find myself reflecting on the tragic killings of Charlie Kirk.
I have a few thoughts about what has happened and what thoughts it brings up in me.

There's a part of me that, in the face of such deranged violence, feels a surge of anger and a desire for retribution. But there's another part of me that recognizes the futility of such impulses.

Through my years of practice, I have come to understand that violence is often a communication of a lack of communication. It's crucial to acknowledge our own violent impulses, but it's equally important to realize that acting on them would only perpetuate the cycle of violence. This is where self-awareness plays a pivotal role in preventing violence.

It stops when we address these realities within ourselves.
It's a challenging task, but it's the most valuable lesson we can learn from the tragic loss of Charlie Kirk.

We need to ask ourselves, 'What can I do?' I hope to cultivate empathy and understanding, even towards those who may seem shockingly different from us.

The fact is, it would simply be violence against another's violence. True as this is, what can we learn from this tragic event? That's a tricky question. Those who know me know that there's not one.

08/30/2025

https://youtu.be/R6xbXOp7wDA?si=MVncCE_wiojzZ0h2

This podcast is worth your time to watch. Good research and a lot of information about dopamine, addiction to food, alcohol, but also to your phone, etc.

The only thing I was missing was the unconscious decisions we all took. And the unconscious messages we received from our parents, great parents, etc.. This message is passed down from generation to generation until we ourselves stop it, if we understand why. The Goodfield Method is a great way to work to discover the unconscious messages.

Dr Anna Lembke is Professor of Psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic. She i...

08/11/2025

How can we find peace, love, and tranquility?

Here are a few profound insights from a seasoned psychologist, whose wisdom has been honed over nearly fifty years of experience and working across three continents.

Throughout my extensive career, I've encountered the following question that has echoed for decades—a shared experience that many of us can relate to.

Why is it so difficult for people, usually others, to understand what I mean and react correctly to what I say?

In most cases, when people face a conflict or misunderstanding, they tend to blame others rather than examining their role in the situation. For instance, in a disagreement with a partner, it's common to think, 'They never listen to me,' rather than considering our own communication style.
This is what I mean by 'the finger pointing away from themselves'. Unless it's one finger, usually the middle one, pointing away from themselves and towards another who has a contrary opinion of what they think is correct.

Of course, this is normal as we don't readily want to see ourselves as the primary cause of uproar in our own lives. Nonetheless, self-awareness and reflection are not necessarily the first things we reach for when our needs and desires fail to materialize.

As a collective, we naturally strive for goodwill and better outcomes, a hopeful sign that change is not only possible but within our reach.

06/12/2025

Wat kan moet.
Wat niet kan moet je niet willen.

Ref.: Wim de Leeuw, senior Goodfield Therapist

06/07/2025

Choice at chance

We all ultimately have CHOICES, but, many of us do not recognize that fact! We therefore, suffer the consequences of that failure to recognize that reality.

We are “blind” to truth of our own perceptions. That is why people need and come to psychotherapy. We offer a chance to remove the blinders put on by year’s of denial and repression of the truth we don’t want to see.

The Goodfield Method™Effective coaching, profiling, and training Dr. Freud was right when he said the unconscious can be seen, and Dr. Goodfield proved it! Learn more “Dr. Goodfield has made a science of observing...fleeting Non-Verbal Leaks that can be captured only by a fast lens or carefully ...