04/08/2026
My dog licks my hands constantly. Always assumed it was affection. But what if she's just checking bone density? Taste-testing the merchandise? Planning for later? She does get very excited about bones. Maybe every lick is just research. Quality assessment. "This one's got good bones. I can work with this." She's playing the long game. Acting all cute and loyal but really just biding her time until the bones are accessible. I choose to still believe it's love though. Easier to accept than "my dog is a long-term bone acquisition strategist." But late at night, I wonder.
