Please take the time to educate yourself before you judge something that you could never understand unless you do have to battle your own mind just to stay alive. I have fought an extremely hard battle with rapid cycling bipolar disorder I have at times self-harmed attempted su***de too many times to count and trying to cope with my mother passing away in 2019 since her passing. I have not been ab
le to hardly leave my house, I have isolated myself to mainly one room. I can't visit family I cut all of my friends out of my life I do not understand people and how they do the s**t they do to others I wear my heart on my sleave and I was always taught to look for the good in people that if you look everyone has some good in their hearts THAT'S THE BIGGEST LIE I HAVE EVER BEEN TOLD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE SOME PEOPLE ABSOLUTELY DO NOT HAVE ANY GOOD IN THEM NO REGUARD, CONCERN, COMPASSION OR ANYTHING ELSE AS LONG AS THEY DON'T GET TREATED THE WAY THEY TREAT OTHERS EVERYTHING IS LOVELY. "MUST BE NICE" I was also taught respect, manners, and morals that to this day I try to live by. There are only a very few people who have not in some way at some point have taken advantage of my kindness and of course ending up in me being hurt so my trust and faith in this world we're living in is non-existent. I have a big heart and I try to help anyone I can even when I'm struggling, I don't want to see other people do without so I did without. I have never been a selfish nor materialistic person. My mother use to tell me that I was an old soul and I was simply different because I feel everything so intensively which is my biggest downfall my curse to love so deeply also means the opposite side the hate the rage the cutting and I have no desire to live in such a place I was not made for this world. I have extreme panic attacks just the thought of having to leave the house overwhelms me to the point I am unable to even go to my doctors appointments I have congestive heart failure due to a heart attack in 2016 that was caused from the stress and the way I worried so much about my mother's battle with cancer that it caused me to have broken heart syndrome it damaged 55% of my heart muscles. In October of 2021 what they thought at the time my was my heart and fluid I was hospitalized in 3 different hospitals took a 80,000.00 helicopter ride to Nashville because all the blood in my body was clotting it had made hundreds of small clots that formed huge masses of clots that attached to the walls of my lungs and the amount of heparin they were having to give me was a lethal dosage my blood was still making clots due to a rare genetic mutation in my blood I was around 7-8 when I started self harming it released the hatred the loathing that I constantly feel about myself. I was 9 yrs old the first time I acted on taking my own life I'm 44 now there's always been a stigma attached to mental disorders etc... I've heard if you just wouldn't think so negative all the time you can control your thoughts and everything will be lovely.. Bulls**t complete Bulls**t. Would it be acceptable to tell a cancer patient to just change their thought process and they can think the cancer away Absolutely not and It's not ok to say it to us. Check on your friends and family members some people fight battles that you're not aware of the saddest people have the most beautiful smiles. You may just save their life. If you're struggling please reach out to someone anybody.. Sometimes we just need someone to listen without judgement if you stumble across our little page and you need someone to talk to please feel free to message me. Tomorrow wants to see you and someone needs you to live.,.. We can't help the hand we're delt in life but we can stop the stigma and help each other don't change yourself so people will love you be you and the right people will love you... Keep your head up reach out and don't be a s**tty person �So this page is for all of us who battle and fight for our lives everyday. I WILL NOT BE ASHAMED OF MY MENTAL HEALTH NO MORE THAN MY PHYSICAL HEALTH. IF I CAN HELP JUST 1 PERSON BY BEING OPEN AND TALKING ABOUT MY WAR WITH THIS AWFUL MONSTER, I WILL CONSIDER IT AS ONE OF MY BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN LIFE. I WISH THAT I HAD OF BEEN GIVEN THE CHANCE TO TALK TO OTHER LIKEMINDED PEOPLE WHO TRULY CAN SAY THEY UNDERSTAND MAYBE MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE EASIER SO PLEASE IF YOU STUMBLE ACROSS FRANK'S PAGE AND YOU'RE STRUGGLING MESSAGE ME IF NOTHING ELSE I CAN AND WILL LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGEMENT BUT REACH OUT TO SOMEONE BECAUSE WE ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS NEVER ENDING CHAOS THAT IS MENTAL ILLNESS
