07/05/2024
π Seeing Beyond Mistakes with Nonviolent Communication (NVC) π
In social work, I often come back to this core belief: people are more than their greatest mistakes. This value, while challenging, is rooted in compassion and the understanding that everyone needs to be seen for who they truly are, not just their worst actions.
The Power of Compassion
Compassion is essential, especially when someone's mistakes have devastating consequences. Everyone needs to be seen for who they are beyond their errors. When we muster compassion for someone who has made a terrible mistake, we provide them the experience of being seen, which promotes healing and reduces the likelihood of repeating the mistake.
A Personal Story
I had a client mourning for his daughter, who was tragically shot in a drug transaction. He wanted the world to see her for her generosity, her laughter, and her love for family and community, not just as an addict. This story reinforces the importance of seeing beyond the worst things people have done.
The NVC Perspective
NVC has helped me adopt this belief. When I have a negative image of someone due to a mistake, I try to see them beyond that mistakeβlike a mother, a friend, or a talented artist. This doesnβt mean forgiveness or forgetting but having compassion and understanding that everyone makes mistakes. As Marshall Rosenberg famously said, βall conflict is the tragic expression of an unmet need.β Everyone is trying to meet their needs, and sometimes, this leads to mistakes. This doesn't make us terrible; it makes us human.
Key Takeaways:
1. Compassion Matters π: Seeing people beyond their mistakes promotes healing and reduces repeated errors.
2. Empathy Heals π€: Empathy helps us understand the humanity in others.
3. NVC Principles π£οΈ: Observations, feelings, needs, and requests foster deeper connections and understanding.
Let's practice seeing beyond mistakes and embracing our shared humanity. To learn more you can read this article at https://thebigbiemethod.com/more-than-our-mistakes/