The Bigbie Method

The Bigbie Method The Bigbie Method operationalizes peace in schools by using a unique combination of Nonviolent Commu

One of the most powerful and commonly used quotes in our world today is Gandhi's "we must be the change we wish to see in this world." While these words are quite inspiring, we humans seem to have a hard time living up to them. Marshall Rosenberg's Non Violent Communication (NVC) process is the most powerful map we have found to help in our day-to-day challenges and attempts to live up to this "Change" vision.

πŸŽ™οΈ This Episode really meets our needs for fun and playfulness.  Dr. B and Heather explore the possibility of speaking w...
08/07/2024

πŸŽ™οΈ This Episode really meets our needs for fun and playfulness. Dr. B and Heather explore the possibility of speaking without using adverbs and adjectives. It proved to meet needs for lots of challenge. They laugh a bunch throughout the recording and hope it will bring you some joy and laughter as well.

Tune in to the episode at https://thebigbiemethod.com/podcast/204-abolishing-adverbs-and-adjectives/

πŸŽ™οΈ In our society when conflicts and difficult situations arise, we can be quick to look for solutions - sometimes with ...
07/31/2024

πŸŽ™οΈ In our society when conflicts and difficult situations arise, we can be quick to look for solutions - sometimes with success and sometimes not. In Episode 203, Dr B shares a personal recent story where she had the epiphany that JUST being heard was actually the solution. Join us to learn more.

Tune in to the episode at https://thebigbiemethod.com/podcast/203-sometimes-being-heard-is-the-solution/

🌟 Discover the Power of Nonviolent Communication (NVC)! 🌟The Neuroscience of EmpathyEmpathy, a core principle of NVC, is...
07/29/2024

🌟 Discover the Power of Nonviolent Communication (NVC)! 🌟

The Neuroscience of Empathy
Empathy, a core principle of NVC, is rooted in our brain's mirror neuron system. These neurons help us understand others' actions and emotions, fostering connection. Engaging in NVC activates these neurons, bridging gaps and resolving conflicts. πŸ§©πŸ’ž

Emotional Intelligence (EI) and NVC
NVC enhances emotional intelligence by helping individuals:

- Become aware of their feelings and needs.
- Recognize and empathize with others' feelings and needs.
- Communicate respectfully, balancing both parties' needs.
- High EI leads to better relationships and conflict resolution skills. 🌈🀝

Understanding Needs
All human actions aim to meet fundamental needs. By focusing on needs rather than blame, NVC reduces defensiveness and encourages collaborative problem-solving. This approach helps us handle conflicts with curiosity and compassion. πŸ§˜β€β™‚οΈβ€οΈ

The Impact of Positive Communication
Positive interactions boost oxytocin production, promoting bonding and reducing stress. NVC's emphasis on empathy and positive language aligns with these benefits, fostering well-being and stronger relationships. 🌟😊

To learn more read our Insight Article at https://thebigbiemethod.com/looking-behind-nvc-why-it-works/

πŸŽ™οΈ A recent book read by Heather and Dr. B spurred this conversations about the overlap between seeing past someone's ph...
07/24/2024

πŸŽ™οΈ A recent book read by Heather and Dr. B spurred this conversations about the overlap between seeing past someone's physical format and how that relates to NVC. We have thoughts that this topic may be a bit mystical and out there for some folks - but hang with it because there are some tips/ideas at the end that we believe may be useful. Enjoy!

Tune in to the episode at https://thebigbiemethod.com/podcast/202-getting-mystical/

🌿✨ Leave No Trace: Beyond Nature to Human Connections 🌿✨Key Insights:1. Mindful Presence: Enjoy others' company without ...
07/22/2024

🌿✨ Leave No Trace: Beyond Nature to Human Connections 🌿✨

Key Insights:
1. Mindful Presence: Enjoy others' company without dumping your baggage, stealing energy, or trying to change them. This often leads to more peaceful and harmonious interactions. πŸ‘«πŸžοΈ
2. Nonviolent Communication (NVC): Similar to LNT, NVC encourages responses that foster connection. Giving advice, for example, can leave an unintended trace, sometimes leading to negative feelings like resentment or self-doubt. πŸ’¬βŒ

Applying LNT Principles to Relationships
- Mindfulness: Be aware of how your actions and words impact others. πŸ§˜β€β™‚οΈ
- Intentionality: Aim to interact in ways that respect others' natural state, similar to how we respect nature. 🌿

Exceptions and Balance
Of course, there are times when leaving a trace is necessary, such as in parenting, teaching, or mentoring. The key is finding a balance and being mindful of when and how we influence others. πŸŽ“πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦

By practicing mindfulness and intentionality, we can create more harmonious and empathetic relationships, just as we aim to preserve the natural world.

Learn more at https://thebigbiemethod.com/what-trace-do-you-leave/

🌟 Transform Judgment into Compassion with NVC 🌟Nonviolent Communication (NVC) helps us shift from blame and judgment to ...
07/20/2024

🌟 Transform Judgment into Compassion with NVC 🌟

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) helps us shift from blame and judgment to observations, feelings, and needs. While it sounds simple, it's not automatic. It requires effort to recognize when we're in blame mode. But focusing on feelings and needs helps us release the enemy image we have of others. πŸ§ πŸ’–

The Enemy Image Trap
We often expend mental and emotional energy creating enemy images, focusing on harms caused, and thinking about punishment. This can manifest in muscle tension, sleep issues, and gut problems. It's all-consuming. 🧩

The Gift of Seeing Needs
When we focus on needs, we let go of judgment. This journey isn't easy and requires ongoing effort, but it's incredibly freeing. 🌿

Benefits of Letting Go of Resentment
- Reduced Stress Levels: πŸ§˜β€β™€οΈ
- Improved Heart Health ❀️
- Better Sleep 😴
- Reduced Anxiety and Depression 🌈
- Increased Emotional Well-being 😊
- Enhanced Relationships πŸ‘₯

Practical Steps to Cultivate Compassion with NVC
Observe Without Judgment: Notice your thoughts and behaviors neutrally.
Example: β€œI notice I often blame myself when things go wrong.”

Identify Feelings: Acknowledge your emotions without labeling them as good or bad.
Example: β€œI feel frustrated when things don't go as planned.”

Connect with Needs: Understand the needs driving your feelings.
Example: β€œI need understanding and support.”

Make Compassionate Requests: Take actionable steps to address your needs.
Example: β€œCan I take a moment to reflect on my strengths?”

Letting go of judgment and resentment is transformative, fostering a kinder, healthier relationship with yourself and others. 🌟✨

To learn more you can read this article at https://thebigbiemethod.com/letting-go-for-your-health/

πŸŽ™οΈ In this Episode, Dr. B, and Heather explore using the word "hurt" when trying to express one's feelings. Sometimes wh...
07/17/2024

πŸŽ™οΈ In this Episode, Dr. B, and Heather explore using the word "hurt" when trying to express one's feelings. Sometimes when people use this word to express what is going on with them, it has the potential to cause more disconnection. Why is that and what are some alternatives that can be used to avoid creating more disconnection in a conflict situation? Join us in Episode 201 to explore this word!

Tune in to the episode at https://thebigbiemethod.com/podcast/201-is-hurt-a-feeling-or-thought/

🌟 Transform Your Inner Dialogue with NVC 🌟We often focus on external achievements and comparisons, leading to harsh self...
07/13/2024

🌟 Transform Your Inner Dialogue with NVC 🌟

We often focus on external achievements and comparisons, leading to harsh self-criticism. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) can turn this inner dialogue into self-compassion and understanding. Here’s how:

Understanding Self-Compassion
Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and care you'd offer a friend. Recognize your suffering, understand it's a common human experience, and respond with warmth instead of criticism. πŸ’–

The Four Components of NVC for Self-Compassion
Observations: Notice your thoughts and behaviors without judgment.
Example: β€œI notice that I often tell myself that I’m not good enough when I make a mistake.”

Feelings: Acknowledge your emotions without labeling them as good or bad.
Example: β€œI feel anxious and sad when I criticize myself.”

Needs: Understand the needs driving your feelings.
Example: β€œI need acceptance and self-worth.”

Requests: Make actionable requests to address your needs.
Example: β€œCan I remind myself of my strengths when I make a mistake?”

Practical Steps for Self-Compassion with NVC
Practice Self-Empathy: Listen to your inner feelings and needs without judgment. 🫢
Example: β€œI’m feeling frustrated. I need some patience and understanding.”

Reframe Negative Self-Talk: Transform negative statements into compassionate observations.
Example: β€œI made a mistake, but I can learn and grow from it.”

Create a Self-Compassion Routine: Include practices like mindfulness, journaling, or affirmations. πŸ§˜β€β™€οΈ
Example: β€œI am worthy of love and compassion, just as I am.”

Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist. Share your struggles to gain perspective.
Example: β€œI’d love to talk through my feelings and work on self-compassion.”

Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements. πŸŽ‰
Example: β€œI handled that situation with grace and competence.”

Healing your inner dialogue with NVC fosters a nurturing inner voice. Each step toward kindness and understanding is a step toward healing and growth. 🌈✨

To learn more you can read this article at https://thebigbiemethod.com/self-compassion-through-nvc-healing-your-inner-dialogue/

πŸŽ™οΈ In this Episode, Dr. B and Heather discuss how beneficial it is to be heard - especially when upset or in a funk!  It...
07/10/2024

πŸŽ™οΈ In this Episode, Dr. B and Heather discuss how beneficial it is to be heard - especially when upset or in a funk! It seems like such a simple thing to have in life, yet many of us don't have it. Dr. B shares about some recent experiences when she was just heard and the inner response she had as a result of that gift.

Tune in to the episode at https://nvcwithdrb.simplecast.com/episodes/200-being-heard-rocks

🌟 Seeing Beyond Mistakes with Nonviolent Communication (NVC) 🌟In social work, I often come back to this core belief: peo...
07/05/2024

🌟 Seeing Beyond Mistakes with Nonviolent Communication (NVC) 🌟

In social work, I often come back to this core belief: people are more than their greatest mistakes. This value, while challenging, is rooted in compassion and the understanding that everyone needs to be seen for who they truly are, not just their worst actions.

The Power of Compassion
Compassion is essential, especially when someone's mistakes have devastating consequences. Everyone needs to be seen for who they are beyond their errors. When we muster compassion for someone who has made a terrible mistake, we provide them the experience of being seen, which promotes healing and reduces the likelihood of repeating the mistake.

A Personal Story
I had a client mourning for his daughter, who was tragically shot in a drug transaction. He wanted the world to see her for her generosity, her laughter, and her love for family and community, not just as an addict. This story reinforces the importance of seeing beyond the worst things people have done.

The NVC Perspective
NVC has helped me adopt this belief. When I have a negative image of someone due to a mistake, I try to see them beyond that mistakeβ€”like a mother, a friend, or a talented artist. This doesn’t mean forgiveness or forgetting but having compassion and understanding that everyone makes mistakes. As Marshall Rosenberg famously said, β€œall conflict is the tragic expression of an unmet need.” Everyone is trying to meet their needs, and sometimes, this leads to mistakes. This doesn't make us terrible; it makes us human.

Key Takeaways:
1. Compassion Matters πŸ’–: Seeing people beyond their mistakes promotes healing and reduces repeated errors.
2. Empathy Heals πŸ€—: Empathy helps us understand the humanity in others.
3. NVC Principles πŸ—£οΈ: Observations, feelings, needs, and requests foster deeper connections and understanding.

Let's practice seeing beyond mistakes and embracing our shared humanity. To learn more you can read this article at https://thebigbiemethod.com/more-than-our-mistakes/

πŸŽ™οΈ Episode 199 is Dr. B going solo and sharing a recent "mourning." First she goes over the concepts of Mournings and Ce...
07/03/2024

πŸŽ™οΈ Episode 199 is Dr. B going solo and sharing a recent "mourning." First she goes over the concepts of Mournings and Celebrations for those new to them. Then she shares out about a recent experience and models the difference of using jackal or blame vs. giraffe or empathy/needs guesses. The situation she shares also provides an example of how using evaluations instead of observations can lead us down the disconnected path.

Tune in to the episode at https://thebigbiemethod.com/?post_type=podcast_episode&p=1037

πŸŽ™οΈ Ever get into a situation where someone needs to be heard and you don't have time or aren't well resourced yourself? ...
06/26/2024

πŸŽ™οΈ Ever get into a situation where someone needs to be heard and you don't have time or aren't well resourced yourself? What to do? What to do? Well, this is exactly what Heather and Dr. B discuss at length in this episode.

Tune in to the episode at https://thebigbiemethod.com/?post_type=podcast_episode&p=1036

πŸŽ™οΈ Do you feel like you want to listen to this Episode? No you don't "feel like" it! You might THINK you want to listen ...
06/24/2024

πŸŽ™οΈ Do you feel like you want to listen to this Episode? No you don't "feel like" it! You might THINK you want to listen and feel excited by that thought but Heather and Dr. B explain why you don't feel like you want to listen to this. All joking aside though... in this recording, there is lengthy discussion on the difference between thoughts and feelings and why knowing and applying this distinction can be a game changer when moving through conflict.

Tune in to the episode at https://thebigbiemethod.com/?post_type=podcast_episode&p=1035

πŸŽ™οΈ Many people get interested in NVC in order to be able to navigate conflict situations with more ease. However, on the...
06/19/2024

πŸŽ™οΈ Many people get interested in NVC in order to be able to navigate conflict situations with more ease. However, on the NVC journey, we often see how our everyday communication may not be the most effective for connecting, even in relatively neutral situations. In this episode, Heather and Dr. B have some playful commentary and fun related to this topic.

Tune in to the episode at https://thebigbiemethod.com/?post_type=podcast_episode&p=1034

πŸŽ™οΈ In this Episode, Dr. B has a discussion with Dr. Berg Miller from Buffalo State University. Dr. Berg has participated...
06/17/2024

πŸŽ™οΈ In this Episode, Dr. B has a discussion with Dr. Berg Miller from Buffalo State University. Dr. Berg has participated in The Bigbie Method consistently for the past year with an intent on embodying Social Work process while teaching about it. She has found The Bigbie Method to be invaluable on many fronts. Listen in to learn more.

Tune in to the episode at https://thebigbiemethod.com/?post_type=podcast_episode&p=1032

🌟 Healing Trauma with Nonviolent Communication (NVC) 🌟Trauma can disrupt our ability to communicate and connect, leading...
06/14/2024

🌟 Healing Trauma with Nonviolent Communication (NVC) 🌟

Trauma can disrupt our ability to communicate and connect, leading to isolation and disconnection. NVC offers a compassionate framework to help survivors rebuild trust, express their needs, and foster healing connections. Here's how NVC can support trauma recovery:

Understanding Trauma and Communication:
Trauma affects the brain's stress responses, causing heightened emotions and communication difficulties. NVC promotes safe, empathetic communication, essential for trauma recovery. By focusing on empathy, honesty, and connection, NVC helps navigate emotions and interactions with compassion.

Practical Applications of NVC in Trauma Recovery:
Self-Empathy 🌸: Connect with your own feelings and needs to foster self-compassion and emotional regulation.
Example: "I’m feeling overwhelmed. I need peace and safety. I'll take a few moments to breathe and ground myself."

Empathetic Listening 🎧: Listen without judgment to build trust and understanding.
Example: "I hear you’re feeling hurt and lonely. I’m here to listen and support you."

Creating Safe Spaces πŸ›‘οΈ: Establish safe, supportive environments for healing.
Example: "Let's set boundaries for our conversation to ensure safety and respect."

Rebuilding Trust πŸ€—: Encourage honest, compassionate communication to strengthen relationships.
Example: "I value our relationship and want to ensure we both feel safe and heard."

Using NVC in trauma recovery enhances healing by fostering empathy, self-awareness, and respectful communication. It helps survivors reconnect with their emotions and needs, rebuild trust, and form meaningful connections. Whether you're a survivor or support person, incorporating NVC can create a compassionate, healing environment for recovery and resilience.

To learn more you can read this article at https://thebigbiemethod.com/nvc-principles-in-trauma-recovery/

πŸŽ™οΈ In Episode 194, Dr. B interviews her colleague, Ryan Bonhardt, regarding his work as a college soccer coach and the r...
06/12/2024

πŸŽ™οΈ In Episode 194, Dr. B interviews her colleague, Ryan Bonhardt, regarding his work as a college soccer coach and the role that NVC plays for him. They also discuss various coaching styles and what seems to work and be up and coming in the sports/coaching world. Guess what? NVC fits right in! Listen in to be inspired about yet another place where NVC can be very helpful.

Tune in to the episode at https://thebigbiemethod.com/podcast/194-nvc-in-the-sports-world/

πŸŽ™οΈ In this episode, Heather and Dr. B do a role play where two people are in conflict and one person has NVC skills. Thi...
06/10/2024

πŸŽ™οΈ In this episode, Heather and Dr. B do a role play where two people are in conflict and one person has NVC skills. This is one of those tricky moments, with which many NVC folks struggle. So, how does it sound in conflict when one person has "giraffe ears" and the other doesn't. Listen in to hear the potential for this kind of communication.

Tune in to the episode at https://thebigbiemethod.com/podcast/193-heather-and-dr-b-have-it-out-nvc-style/

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