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Slade-Waggoner Counseling Services PA, Tampa, FL (2026)

02/06/2026

A subtle baiting tactic covert narcissists often use is negative self-condemnation.

Instead of asking directly for affirmation or reassurance, they criticize themselves in hopes that you will rush in with compliments, validation, or emotional caretaking.

For example, when a covert narcissist puts themselves down, your instinct may be to reassure them.
But reassurance often feeds the bait, not the problem.

A healthier, more grounded response is something neutral and redirecting, such as:
“A friend of mine has a really good Christian therapist. Would you like me to get the number for you?”

The narcissist will not like this response.
But your goal is not to gain their approval or keep them comfortable.

Your goal is to offer what is truly in their best interest.

Just like with other forms of narcissistic baiting, we do not feed ego, entitlement, or manipulation.
We offer truth, responsibility, and a path toward healing.

What is best for a narcissist is not endless affirmation from others.
It is learning to develop self-worth through Christ, Scripture, repentance, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

True worth does not come from “hunting” compliments or emotional supply.
It comes from surrender—learning to ask for needs directly, honestly, and in a God-honoring way.

Withholding ego-fuel is not unloving.
Pointing someone toward Christ-centered help is often the most loving response available.

02/05/2026

There is a subtle baiting tactic narcissists use that often goes undetected.

When a narcissist feels you are asking for too much closeness, too much accountability, or too much behavioral change, they may begin doing things so upsetting, disrespectful, or intolerable that you feel compelled to back away, retreat, or leave.

This is known as a bait-to-abandon tactic.

The goal is not resolution.
The goal is escape, without responsibility.

By behaving badly, the narcissist pressures the other person to leave, while positioning themselves as:
• The one who was abandoned
• The misunderstood victim
• The person who “tried”

Meanwhile, the person who finally retreats is made to look like the problem.

I see this happen frequently in marriages where one spouse is narcissistic.

Understanding this pattern is important because it helps you stop personalizing what is happening.
This is not about your worth, your effort, or your commitment.
It is about a narcissist avoiding closeness, accountability, and change.

When you recognize baiting for what it is, you can respond with clarity instead of confusion, and protect your emotional and spiritual well-being.

02/04/2026

One of the most common baiting strategies narcissists use is emotional blackmail, pressuring you to make decisions out of fear, obligation, or guilt (often called FOG).

Here’s how it works.

A narcissist presents a want as if it were a moral issue.
When you say no, even for responsible, reasonable reasons—they respond by attacking your character, your love, or your intentions.

For example:

• A financially irresponsible spouse demands an expensive trip that isn’t in the budget and accuses you of “ruining family memories” when you decline.
• An irresponsible adult child repeatedly asks for money, then rages and claims you “don’t love them” when you finally say no.

The goal is not problem-solving.
The goal is to override your discernment and force compliance through guilt and fear.

When faced with this type of bait, the question is not:

“How do I stop them from being upset?”

The question is:

“What is actually in this person’s best interest?”

Godly love does not feed entitlement or comfort.
Godly love protects a person’s long-term wellbeing—even when it feels uncomfortable in the moment.

This is why saying no can be the most loving response.

Healthy boundaries give narcissistic individuals the opportunity to:
• Carry their own responsibilities
• Face natural consequences
• Grow in maturity and accountability

Scripture reminds us that each person is responsible for their own load (See Galatians 6).

If you are being pressured to abandon wisdom in order to relieve someone else’s discomfort, pause.
Choose godly love over guilt.
Clarity over chaos.
Truth over manipulation.

02/03/2026

Narcissists behave so poorly, so disrespectfully, dismissively, or cruelly, that the other person eventually pulls away or leaves, while the narcissist positions themselves as the abandoned victim.

I see this frequently in marriages involving a narcissist.

A narcissist who wants a divorce—but does not want to look like the “bad person”—will often say they want to work on the marriage, yet refuse to change their behavior.
This is not confusion.
It is strategy.

The narcissist is baiting their spouse into leaving so they don’t have to take responsibility for ending the relationship. When the spouse finally asks for separation or divorce, the narcissist tells others—especially the children—that they were abandoned.

This is one of the most heinous forms of baiting because:
• It deceives family, friends, and children
• It creates a false narrative
• It leaves the departing spouse wrestling with false guilt for years

This dynamic can continue indefinitely until the other person finally stops trying to communicate about issues the narcissist never intended to address in the first place.

If a narcissist is treating you with chronic disrespect and disregard, the most self-protective response is not persuasion—it is distance.

Remove yourself from the conversation.
Increase separation if necessary.
Refrain from pursuing understanding or mutuality.

A narcissist is not interested in solving the problem or repairing the relationship. They are interested in avoiding accountability.

Grieve what is lost.
Release the narcissist.
And redirect your time and energy toward people who desire to relate to you in Christ-centered, healthy ways.

02/02/2026

Don’t take the narcissist’s bait.

A narcissist want you to react, yell, defend yourself, or lose your peace, so they can call you “crazy” and stay in control.
But you can stop the cycle.

Here’s how
💡 Take a deep breath.
💡 Don’t defend yourself.
💡 Dismiss the comment, don’t give it power.
💡 Detach emotionally.
💡 Disengage completely.

You’re not powerless. You’re just learning to respond with wisdom instead of reaction.

01/30/2026

A common baiting tactic narcissists use sounds like this:

“Stop yelling at me.”
—even when you didn’t yell or barely raised your voice.

This statement is designed to provoke a reaction.

If you didn’t yell, the narcissist wants you to.
If you raised your voice even slightly, the narcissist wants you to escalate further.

Why?

So they can:
• Call you crazy
• Accuse you of overreacting
• Or label you as the abusive one

When children are present, this tactic becomes triangulation.
The narcissist is attempting to shape your children’s perception—casting you as out of control while positioning themselves as the victim.

Do not take the bait.
Do not defend yourself.
Do not argue about whether you yelled.

Instead, calmly shift the interaction toward de-escalation.

You might say:
“Can you please tell me how I can say this in a way that doesn’t offend you?”

This response:
• Stops escalation
• Removes the narcissist’s leverage
• Demonstrates calm authority

If the narcissist responds with sarcasm or dismissal—such as “Don’t say it at all”—simply reply with “Okay,” “I understand,” or “Got it,” and disengage.

There is no benefit in reasoning with someone who is invalidating, disrespecting, or emotionally abusing you.

Walking away is not giving in.
It is choosing not to engage in manipulation.

🎧 For more on resisting narcissistic baiting, Episode 8 of the Help! I Have a Narcissist in My Life podcast explores this pattern in depth.

01/29/2026

Narcissists cannot tolerate losing control.

Because they think in black-and-white, all-or-nothing terms, a common control tactic they use is called catastrophic intimidation.

This sounds like:
• “If you walk out that door, I’m gone for good.”
• “If we separate, we might as well divorce.”

Narcissists don’t think in terms of process, growth, or shades of gray.
In their mind, you are either with them or against them.

So when you ask for space, distance, or a temporary separation, they escalate the situation to frighten you into compliance.

If you are faced with catastrophic intimidation, pause.
Take a few deep breaths.
Respond calmly and without emotion.

You might say something like:
“That would be your choice. I don’t want a divorce. I want a working separation so we can both work on ourselves. If you choose divorce, that is up to you.”

And then disengage.

There is no benefit to continuing a conversation once a narcissist is emotionally charged and preparing to attack.

Do not allow intimidation to force you to abandon your needs.
If you need distance, take it.
If you need a separation, pursue it.

You are not causing the separation.
Their behaviors are.

And remember—you are not alone.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” — Psalm 46:1

01/28/2026

One of the most enraging things to a narcissist is being treated as ordinary or equal in importance to others.

Narcissists believe they are special and entitled to elevated attention, deference, and priority. When they don’t receive what they believe they deserve, they interpret it in one of two ways:
• You must be crazy for not recognizing their specialness
• Or you are the enemy for withholding what they feel entitled to

Emotionally healthy people seek collaboration, mutual respect, and shared problem-solving as equals.
Narcissists do not.

When you attempt to interact with a narcissist from a place of equality or cooperation, you may be met with:
• Opposition
• Emotional punishment
• Withdrawal or banishment
• Retaliation

This is an important reality to stay mindful of—especially if the narcissist in your life is someone you must continue interacting with, such as:
• An ex-spouse
• A current spouse
• A boss or coworker
• An extended family member

Understanding what fuels narcissistic rage helps you stop personalizing their reactions and begin responding with wisdom and strategy rather than confusion or self-blame.

📘 If you need more guidance on how to interact with a narcissist in a healthy and empowering way, Section 5 of Don’t Let Their Crazy Make You Crazy walks through common narcissistic tactics and how to respond to them with clarity and strength.

01/28/2026

When we enable someone’s irresponsibility, God will often create a restlessness within our hearts. If we listen to His prompting, we can develop a desire for that person to do things God’s way that exceeds our desire for that person to be spared discomfort and hardship.

Listen to your frustration. It may be a gift from God for you as well as for the person who is refusing to help himself or herself. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you” (Psalm 32:8).

01/26/2026

Narcissists refuse to do the growth work necessary to possess these skills, thus, they should not be trusted or relied upon. Don’t waste your breath or your time trying to get the narcissist in your life to respond to your pain or see your perspective. Accept this reality, process your feelings, and re-channel your energies elsewhere. “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet” (Matthew 10:14).

01/23/2026

Here’s an important relational truth many people struggle to accept:

Just because someone wants closeness with you does not mean you are obligated to give it.

Healthy relational closeness requires two things—both must be present:

1️⃣ Mutual desire for closeness
Closeness grows when there are shared values, shared interests, and a genuine desire on both sides to build connection. Without this, the relationship will always feel “off.”

2️⃣ Established trust
Trust is built through mutual honesty, effort, respect, concern for one another’s wellbeing, and the ability to take responsibility—repent, apologize, forgive, and change hurtful behavior.

When trust has not been built—or has been broken—closeness becomes one-sided and can quickly turn destructive or toxic.

This is why it’s important to resist making relational decisions out of obligation or guilt.

It is healthy—and biblical—to determine the level of closeness you allow in your relationships.

Jesus modeled this perfectly.
He loved everyone, yet He was not equally close to everyone.
He walked away from those who were biblically foolish, had many followers, twelve disciples, and an even smaller inner circle.

And He was perfect.

Determining closeness is not sinful.
Even when someone wants to be closer to you, it is not wrong to say no—especially when trust, safety, or shared values are missing.

So remember this truth:
When someone wants more closeness than you do, resist guilt—and if necessary, give yourself permission to step back or walk away.

01/22/2026

Tonight, I’m honored to be a guest on In the Market with Janet Parshall on Moody Radio.

🕕 Thursday, January 22
⏰ 6:00 PM Eastern

I’ll be joining Janet Parshall to talk about:
• Recognizing narcissistic and emotionally abusive behavior
• Protecting your peace and emotional well-being
• Staying anchored in God’s truth when relationships feel confusing or harmful

If you’re navigating a toxic or emotionally draining relationship, or supporting someone who is, I pray this conversation brings clarity, strength, and biblical discernment.

I’d be honored if you would tune in, and please feel free to share this with someone who may need encouragement.

👉 Listen live:
https://www.moodyradio.org/programs/in-the-market-with-janet-parshall/

Or tune in to your local Moody Radio station.

Slade-Waggoner Counseling Services PA

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