01/06/2026
“After 20 years of emotional abuse, I finally filed for divorce. What should I expect?”
That question comes up all the time — and here’s the honest answer most people won’t tell you:
The good news is you’re getting out of a marriage that was destroying you and your children.
That matters more than anything.
The hard truth is this:
Divorcing an abusive or narcissistic spouse is rarely clean, fair, or quick.
In fact, you should expect:
• The process to take much longer than promised
• It to cost far more money than anticipated
• The legal system to feel deeply disappointing and unjust
• Your ex to weaponize the court system against you
An abusive spouse doesn’t suddenly become reasonable during divorce.
If he was abusive in the marriage, he will be abusive in the divorce.
Think of it like this:
Divorcing a narcissist is like trying to pull your leg out of a vicious crocodile’s mouth.
You can get free — but it will be exhausting, painful, and require the right strategy.
Here’s what you can realistically expect from an abusive spouse during divorce:
🔴 He will try to punish you for having the nerve to leave
🔴 He will fight to keep all the money and call it “his”
🔴 He may try to turn your children against you
🔴 He will likely launch a smear campaign full of lies
You’ll be accused of things that are not true:
• “She’s the abuser”
• “She’s mentally ill”
• “She’s crazy”
• “She’s a terrible wife and mother”
• “She’s selfish, unstable, or unfaithful”
These lies are meant to break you, isolate you, and regain control.
But here’s the clarity that keeps you grounded:
👉 This behavior will only confirm why you had to leave
👉 You are not imagining this
👉 You are not overreacting
👉 And you are not alone
God is still in charge — even when the system fails you.
With preparation, wisdom, and the right support, you can get through this and protect yourself and your children.
If you’re at the beginning of this journey, don’t go in blind.
Get informed. Get steady. Get support.
📘 Enough Is Enough has helped thousands find the courage to leave — and the clarity to endure what comes next.
