Our Incredible Journey

19/08/2024

Blog Post 35 - The Last of the Firsts

This post is overdue; in many ways, it's all for good reasons. For the past ten years, July 30th has been a day on which I have had the good fortune to celebrate both my birthday and our legal...

15/07/2024

Blog Post 34 - Embracing Change, Embracing Life

When I opened my mailbox this morning, I found a letter from Capital Caring, the hospice care organization that helped me navigate Chris' final months. It started, "Dear Caregiver, Nine months have...

14/04/2024

Post 33 - Time & The Widower's Identity
(Not sure why the link isn't displaying, but I have it in the Comments)

The story of two husbands navigating life, love, and terminal illess.

07/02/2024

Post 32 - A Very Special Day. Happy Birthday, sweetheart. ❤

It's been a few weeks since I posted on the blog - not because I haven't thought about it. Anyone who knows me will not be surprised that I've created a formal storyboard, capturing ideas for...

09/01/2024

I am reminded every day of how wonderful our dog community is.
Thank you, Terry Porter, for the lovely bracelet. I will wear it as a gentle nudge when needed during my path forward. ❤️

01/01/2024

I wish everyone a wonderful new year filled with nothing but joy, health, and genuine happiness. ❤

Post 31: A New Year - Embracing Life

​It's the eve of the New Year - 2024. From a practical point of view, it's just another day on the calendar. But ritually, it's become a day the world has used as a celebratory transition from...

26/12/2023

On this day 31 years ago, the universe brought us face to face for the first time, and my world was forever changed.

One year ago today, I took you to the hospital and heard the words heart failure for the first time, and my world was forever changed.

I miss you every day, but I am so grateful to have had someone so extraordinary standing beside me. I am who I am today because of you. You changed my world forever. ❤

25/12/2023

Christmas Morning 2018.
While so much of my heart in this photo is no longer with me, the beautiful memories remain. (I still can't believe he convinced me to dress in coordinating pajamas.)
I'm doing my best today not to grieve what I've lost but to be thankful for all I had. ❤

No matter what today looks like for you, I hope you take a moment to reflect on the blessings in your life and, if you can, make wonderful new memories.
Happy Christmas - 🌲

21/12/2023

I want to sincerely thank everyone who embraced me (figuratively and literally) this past weekend in Florida. Thank you for intuitively understanding what I was feeling. Thank you for sharing your own stories of loss. And thank you for confirming to me how wonderful our big dog show family really is. It meant the world. ❤

Post 30 - You Are Brave

​At one point early on in Chris's health challenges, someone referred to me as brave. While I appreciated the sentiment, I didn't give it any real credence because I didn't believe it. To me,...

12/12/2023

Speechless.
I just received this incredible original oil, painted by Chris's aunt Lynda Clayton. Thank you, Lynda. I will treasure it always. ❤🦢

10/12/2023

Post 29: Happy Christmas, Honey

Thank you, Adrianne Tullier, for the lovely custom-made candle holder. It means the world. ❤

Everyone knows that Christmas decorating was something Chris loved to do. Even in those years when he entered the Holiday season saying he wasn't going to do much because he wasn't feeling it,...

05/12/2023

I have lived my life as the ultimate skeptic. Conspiracy theories? Craziness. Mediums and Animal Communicators? Great actors. Signs from beyond? The heart attempting to connect random incidents.
I've always trusted science and what I can see and touch.

That said, things happened today that just don't add up to my pragmatic self.

Shortly after starting my drive to work this morning, I decided to put on the playlist that I had created for Chris's Celebration of Life - a compilation of songs that he loved or that I would walk in and catch him dancing and singing loudly to.
Just as I hit "shuffle play," a mini van merged in front of me. It took me a second to make out the sticker on the rear window.
"No - it must be a plane or an angel." I got as close as I could without rear-ending them and there it was - a dragonfly.
Now, there may be cars out there with dragonfly decals, but the timing was, well, interesting.

I thought about it the entire way to work and how I was very likely being that person trying to make something of nothing.
As I sat at the stoplight just before turning into my parking garage, the song, "I Lived," by One Republic came on. Right at that moment, I got a notification on my Apple Watch saying "You have a photo memory," a message I've never received before. When I tapped the button to go to it, I will admit, it took the wind out of me.
There, on my watch, with "I Lived" playing in the background, was the photo Chris wanted to take after getting home from his longest hospital stay (18 days), for a Facebook post where he thanked me for all I had done.

There is no logical reason for that photo to have popped up when it did. The original photo was posted to Facebook on March 27th, so it wasn’t an anniversary or milestone timeframe to when it was displayed. And again, I have never received a “photo memory” on my watch.

I just don't know anymore.
Everything I've believed is being challenged - in a good way I suppose.
If it was all just happenstance, then I guess I thank the universe for making it all align. But if somehow, in some way, it was Chris, well - thank you, honey. ❤