Lakewood Family Therapy

02/24/2026

If we assume that self-harm induces pain, then we will interpret it as masochism or self-punishment or a cry for help. And if we do 2 that, we will miss the core issue in self-harm of mastery- and relief-seeking. Because to interpret it as self-punishment usually leads the patient right into her feelings of shame and worthlessness, and she responds by thinking or saying, "But I am bad—I do deserve to be punished—and since I'll never feel anything but hate for myself, I'll never stop my self-harm." Or, "Since I will never be able to help myself, my only hope is to keep crying for help."

02/24/2026

The cycle is self-reinforcing because the temporary relief of avoiding conflict is chemically rewarded. Keep in mind that every "yes" to avoid discomfort strengthens the pathway.

02/22/2026

02/22/2026

02/21/2026

Trauma bonds feel intensely passionate because your nervous system is constantly activated. But that intensity isn't deep connection, it's chaos. Here's how trauma bond thinking differs from healthy love thinking.

Trauma bond thinks the intensity means we're soulmates and deeply connected. Healthy love knows real connection feels calm and safe, not chaotic. Trauma bond believes love is supposed to hurt sometimes to be real. Healthy love understands love shouldn't consistently hurt to prove it's real.

Trauma bond thinks if I leave, I'll never find this kind of passion again. Healthy love recognizes passion without safety is just adrenaline, not love. Trauma bond believes the good moments are worth the bad ones. Healthy love knows consistent good is better than occasional great mixed with terrible.

Trauma bond thinks they can't help how they are, I just need to be more understanding. Healthy love understands they're responsible for their behavior, not me for tolerating it.

If your relationship feels like an emotional roller coaster that you can't get off, that's not passion. That's your nervous system trying to survive chaos disguised as love.

02/21/2026

02/21/2026

02/21/2026

02/21/2026

02/21/2026

Quick Tips for Calming Anxious Minds

Anxiety can feel big — for children and the adults supporting them.
But sometimes, small shifts make a huge difference.

We’ve pulled together a simple infographic packed with doable, gentle, and effective tips to help young people feel more calm, safe, and in control.

Perfect for printing, sharing, or popping on the fridge!

Scroll down to take a peek!