12/07/2023
Holidays Bring Joy And Sadness – Especially For Elderly
“Happy holidays!” We hear it everywhere – at stores, on television, from our neighbors and family. The lights and sounds of the season are unavoidable. For many, it is a wondrous and joyful time of year. However, it can be a very sad time for anyone who has suffered loss or loneliness. Our elderly population are especially vulnerable if they live alone or if their circumstances or living arrangements have changed. The loss of a spouse, child, friend, pet or companion brings a unique kind of inner pain that may become bearable over time but does not ever go away completely. Moving from a lifelong home into a community living environment is another kind of loss that can contribute to feelings sadness or depression during the holidays.
For people suffering from loneliness or loss, those joyful words, “happy holidays,” ring hollow. But there are ways people can share the joys of the season without triggering additional unwelcome feelings in those who are going through difficult times.
1. Be present. Presents are nice but sometimes gifts can bring anxiety and stress. (“Oh my, I didn’t get her a gift and now I feel bad.”) It’s important to be mindful of the individual during this time. Perhaps they would like a gift. But more importantly, they would appreciate having someone actually being present, spending real time with them, listening to them, and letting them know that someone truly cares about them.
2. Be mindful. Invitations to holidays celebrations can be exciting yet stressful for people suffering emotionally. Don’t exclude them from your celebrations thinking you are being thoughtful. Instead, consider having smaller gatherings with people they are most comfortable. A simple message, added to the invitation, encouraging them to participate to the degree they are comfortable can help to alleviate stress. Remember to always encourage them to join you but don’t make them feel bad if they don’t come.
3. Be supportive. The holidays can be busy for everyone. Make sure to make time in your busy schedule to check up on and visit with your struggling loved one or friend by visiting in person, or calling to let them know you are thinking of them.
4. Be respectful. The holidays can mean different things to different people. Different religions and traditions should always be respected.
The most precious gifts we can give each other any time of the year are love and compassion. Take time to listen and to be present. Those two acts can truly make the holidays happy.
(istockphoto credit: Sergey Dementyev)
