Robin Afinowich

06/15/2025

Common themes discussed in The Nest this week:

It takes courage to hold yourself accountable for needing to change unhealthy behaviors. It takes even more courage to do the work to, 1) recognize the pattern 2) interrupt the pattern 3) redirect/create a new response. Props to those embracing this often exhausting, but worthy, undertaking! Also, give yourself some self-compassion!

Not all pop psychology is good psychology. Though there are common denominators in mental health and life experiences, everybody has their own unique process. Sometimes the world of influencers makes us feel like we need to belong or identify with every trend. This can dismiss the uniqueness of your experience and through powers of persuasion mislead you from truly understanding yourself, from the inside vs. the outside. I’ve seen the need to “blend with trend” also dismiss peoples’ own intuition and unnecessarily reconstruct their independent values to conform to those being broadcast through popularity and algorithms. I think some of the best healing comes from Inner resourcing. Truly defining yourself in your life by what YOU feel is your truth. Lasting change and true self-confidence comes when we get quiet and remove distractions and influence ourselves!

I’m not suggesting to not draw on inspiration or motivation from outside channels, but to consider limiting the exposure and dependence of outside resources. I always suggest if you are craving influence go back to reading classic novels that give insight into psychology and human emotions. Im talking Aurelius, Dostoevsky, Hugo, Steinbeck, O’Donohue, Baldwin, Coelho, Plath, Angelo-kind of stuff.

While we’re on the subject, not everybody has to be an influencer. You can have a powerful influence by the way you live your life and engage with people face-to-face. If you’re not getting all the likes and hearts and affirmation you would like, don’t underestimate the gravity of your presence in the day-to-day social engagement with folks.

Patience, persistence and faith….a good condition for sustainable growth. More on this soon.

❤️

04/09/2025

Sometimes you just gotta wiggle out the worries.

I’d love to see you at my upcoming workshop, “Issues in our Tissues” This will be an educational and exploratory space to learn about your stress response and how it gets stored in the body and how it effects physical, mental, and energetic health. You will gain a dynamic take home tool-kit to help you prevent and manage toxic stress, and learn how to build everyday practices to enhance nervous system regulation, emotional ease, clarity of mind and overall enhanced well-being and meaning in life. We will discuss the principles of “somatic” (a big buzzword these days) from both a body based psychotherapy perspective as well as eastern philosophy.

Be prepared to learn in a safe and fun environment and leave feeling empowered in your healing practice in new ways.

Sat April 12, 12:00-2:00
$45
Tempe (and online)

04/06/2025

I feel like it was just two sleeps ago that I was writing about the wise subtlety of winter, delivering messages to not rush the arrival of spring, and here we are now, in a blink of an eye surrounded by the earth’s awakening after a long slumber. Truth be told, I could still use some more rest. I will merge the two seasons of introspection and inception while restfully planting seeds of intention both in the soil beneath my bare feet and the often hardened landscape in my heart (a hard heart is not always without deep love, it can be held by a fierce protector and stories of fortitude). Naps and writing under the canopy of a budding mulberry seem to be the perfect equal dose measure of rest and renewal.

What about the space between? The space between winter and spring. The space between what was and what will be. The space between the stages of my own evolution as well as those growing around me. What about the space between our breaths (our day-to-day breaths as well as the first breath and the last), our thoughts, our cells (there are nebulas between our cells, I am sure the universe spins deep in my earthy chemistry). The Irish poets have long referred this as the intangible, unmeasurable, yet deeply felt and completely necessary liminal space to which all things arrive, meet and depart. The space between where nothing exists other than the order of an Omni presence threading the laws of the universe together to give us a tapestry of life in all its complex textures and compositions. It is a mysterious and somehow boundless seam bridging transition and contrast, like the fluid edge where the sea meets the shore. It’s that last kiss of color from the Sun as the horizon lays itself to rest and the first touch of light as Dawn breaks the night.

There is a great movement, maybe even a soulful revolution of healing, contemplation, restoration, and creation occurring in parts of ourselves that we don’t always see or understand (like dreams, illness and intuitive response). I believe much of the therapeutic process happens in the liminal space, it isn’t always visible on the surface, much like the warming of a seed as it prepares to break through earth an unfold to a world of illumination and potential. Things you have put in motion years ago might, just now, be surfacing, other intentions may be well on their way, and if you sit in quiet spaces where time is not moving forward or backward and lose yourself in the sunrise, ocean tide, and watch for glimpses into the space between…you will feel more connected to life and you will trust in its process as well as your own.

Remember, healing is not linear; it’s up and down and all around. It takes time and often many seasons. Sometimes you may not feel like you are moving forward, forward movement isn’t always the measure of success. What if you we don’t live to reach our goals? Knowing how to be present and content with greater awareness, wonderment and awe, with a rested body of ease and deep breath that invites you to pause a be with LIFE as it is right now; not tomorrow, not yesterday, but the space between. I’ve come to consider the greatest arrival of ‘healing’ is simply companionship and intimacy for the moment itself.

With love,

11/11/2024

I did a fun thing this week! I found some shiny, purple, power pants and snapped some photos for my coaching and consulting ventures. I am bravely entering a new space of mind-body services, trauma-and resilience education, and entrepreneurship. More to come, but for now…..

Common themes seen in practice matched with some early morning ruminations:

What if we can let go of old parts of ourselves and dismantle the ideas of who we think we are or who we are expected to be? Like a cocoon to butterfly, we are supposed to evolve throughout life, not remain the same. Our ideas, careers, partners, community, passions can change. This comes with grief around the loss of established identity. This is why we perceive it as a mid-life crisis, but I see it as an opportunity to begin again. When we meet new era and new self with courage and creativity, we are empowered to re-imagine, re-invent, and emerge newly discovered with a fresh invitation to life.

I think the practice of psychotherapy in anthropological terms is perhaps best conceptualized as postmodern ritual. Healing is the ceremonial and intentional process of establishing our own meaning from the insensible misfortunes that cut, char, indiscriminately wound. Through a lens of logos and resilience we enter a rite of passage and embrace belonging to Scar Clan.

What if we thought of healing as a way of integrating our shadows vs something we must fix or remove? Can we accept the imperfect parts of ourselves as necessary components in the whole experience of being human? I used to carry shame for my feisty temperament. I did all the yoga in the world to take it away, yet she stubbornly continued to burn. In my own journey of shadow work, I have discovered that my anger and passion breathe from the same fire. A sad day it would have been to extinguish a core element of my composition.

The Bee breath has been a particularly favorite tools this week. Sit tall, take a deep inhale and as you exhale make a buzzing-humming sound like a bee. Buzzzzz the entire length of the exhale, draw a new inhale and continue a cycle of buzzing on each exhale. Bee breath stimulates the Vagus nerve which initiates a parasympathetic response promoting a sense of calm, rest, and repair. It also improves the brain-gut axis which is involved in our feeling of mental wellbeing. 90% of serotonin is produced in the gut, the Vagus nerve transports our feel-good neurotransmitter to the brain.

Find a friend and create a weekly walk-and-talk. There is a lot to process in the world. Unpack heaviness while moving the body... and it’s even better if you can be surrounded by nature. (For my current clients, we can walk-and-talk our sessions as well.)

With love,
Robin

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11/08/2024

It’s time to shake out some stress and release all the feels.

Join me for one of my favorite workshops, Let That S**t Go, psoas relase.

Saturday November 16, 2:00-4:00 $35

Psoas release is a specific sequence of postures designed to help the body ‘shake it out’ and release stored tension, trauma, and structural holding patterns that limit lifeforce. This is both a strengthening and soothing class and rooted in the science and soul of healing. Workshop will include discussion on somatic practices and a full yoga practice complimented with mind-body tools to help cultivate resilience and regulation on and off the mat.

Register early!

10/31/2024

Empty Nest: A mama birds story - https://mailchi.mp/c1656271add1/notes-from-the-nest-an-empty-nest

09/27/2024

One of my favorite trainings to facilitate is Conscious Leadership, and it’s extra special when it is with some fierce change makers at Arizona Victim Assistance Academy.

Leaders who ignite the flames of purpose and passion within themselves have the power to revolutionize organizations from the inside out. By embodying their own values and leading by example, they cultivate an inspiring environment of trust, loyalty, and utmost dedication among their team members.
Growth-oriented leaders walk the walk. Are you ready?

05/23/2024

Enjoying CO Springs and the luxurious Broadmoor (perks of a hubby who lives on the road). I’ve allowed myself to truly slow down (not easy for this ex-workaholic) and have grown fond of my simple, quiet and meandering ways.

Many of us are used to the hustle, even addicted to it. It’s a huge part of our identity. It’s what we know, and it’s what we are DAMM good at it. Particularly those who have been fighting through compounded adversity as kids, as parents, as survivors of limited resources, disease, trauma, grief. We don’t often know how to put down the psychological swords and de-armor the shielded weight we carry in our bodies. We have to reprogram our nervous systems to feel safe when at ease. That’s not a safe practice, says the wild wolf inside. So we allow wisdom to teach her the discretion of when to be animal and when to be human, when to protect our territory and when to soften the edges so new life can enter.

How might it be different for you if….

You didn’t always give 150%, but ease back down to a reasonable standard. Even 85% is well above the bar.

You were honest about who is setting those standards….usually it’s our self-inflicted expectations of perfectionism.

You considered that draining your emotional bank account on behalf of other people’s needs doesn’t guarantee you are respected or protected. Often we over-give because on some early development level we believed that if people need us, they will be less likely to hurt us. Sadly, most lived experience proves this wrong.

You checked in with your body at least 5 times a day and relaxed your forehead, jaw, shoulders, abdominal muscles, butt and calves and took some deep, deliberate breaths. You might be surprised at how good you are at holding unnecessary tension.

Reconsider the motives behind being busy. Are they necessary?

Reconsider the fears that prevent you from slowing down. Are they true?

Reconsider the quality of relationships that expect constant self-sacrificing accommodations. Are they kind or reciprocal?

You determined how to measure success and happiness.

05/10/2024

Looking forward to a special day tomorrow at Fresh Start. This event will provide the mothers/mother-figures and their teen daughters (age 12-18) with the opportunity to reflect on their relationship with self, as well as gain insight into how to cultivate environments that inspire growth. Together, we’ll learn how to bloom into the best versions of ourselves and thrive! I will be offering a workshop, Rooted In Resilience focusing on eco-therapy and mindfulness and strength-based approaches to individual and family wellness. Follow the link to register for this free event.

Fresh Start knows empowering women means providing workshops, resources, and support networks so you can take first step toward a new life.

05/08/2024

Nerd alert: One of my favorite regulation techniques is what I call “Parasympathetic Patterning.”

The brain and body love predictability; it cues a sense of safety and removes anticipatory angst. When the body feels safe it shifts into a healing response and repair is set in motion. We know that consistency is so important for brain development in childhood. Humans are designed to develop and regenerate throughout our entire lives. Adults can still benefit from inlaying repetitive actions, affirmations, and alternative modalities to help regulate the nervous system and soothe a ruminating or catastrophizing mind. Some of my favorite pattern practices:

Mantra (translates to ‘free the mind’). I still love Deva Premal’s Mantras for Precarious Times album.

Equal ratio breath (deep belly breath, same length in, same length out)

Repetitive movements (arms up, arms down, arms to the side, arms up, down, to the side…)

Knitting or Crotchet

Observing details and patterns in nature.

Musical instruments (it doesn’t have to be a song, simply repeating patterns and notes). Me and my claw hands are learning to play piano and my favorite part is the warm up patterns, go figure 🙃

Bilateral Stimulation (back and forth tapping and EMDR)

Drawing or doodling (pick a shape and recreate it over and over) Let go of masterpieces and Master your Peace with creativity.

There is an extra benefit if you double up. For instance, what if you matched your doodle with one breath at a time? Mindfulness slows us down, and this is the space we need to occupy to heal. We can’t heal when we are in survival mode and amped-up states. We can only heal in the moment, not in the past, not in the future and mindfulness is about deep intention in present time and space.

Pick a pattern that resonates with you and play with a most natural and simple way of calming yourself.

04/28/2024

Common themes I see in healing practice these days…lots of reframing regarding relationship with our bodies. Here are big take-aways for this week’s series of, “How might it be different for you if….

You could see your body as a companion. A loyal friend always carrying you and holding space for you? One who is constantly working to survive you, to thrive you.

You treated your body like a garden not a machine.

You see the lines in your face as wise as the ones in your palm. Our crow-feet smiles have good fortune.

You believe your body is not some thing that has to maintain a value and aesthetic, instead it is a gift that is immeasurable and priceless.

You worked with your body instead of against it?

For those of us aging/sage-ing: Saw your body as ‘vintage’ or “antique’. That’s right, we are as special and rare as an original record player, a teal floral-print davenport, bell-bottoms, pencil skirts, and mind-century Danish furniture. 🙃😂

You see your body not as sin but a ceremony of sensation, prayer in motion, energy in form and function.

You saw your trauma response as adaptive and strong vs. maladaptive and weak.

If you saw illness and pain as a door inviting you to have a more compassionate and contemplative relationship with yourself. When I walked with cancer, my contemplative practices expanded into new dimensions and gave me an opportunity to find meaning for life.

You considered the body as the physical manifestation of the subconscious. It speaks on behalf of our deeper self. Can we listen to the stories in our bodies? For example, Joints hurt? Are you feeling stuck with your ability to move forward w something in your life?

What if we honored our bodies as a loyalty to our heritage of original people and place? Our blood and our bones carry our ancestors, our tissues and cells hold the epigenetic composition of our entire past. We are living history and that is a magnificent miracle of life worthy of respect.

04/20/2024

Explore limiting beliefs and internal obstacles that limit the potential of growth (personally and professionally). Gather inspiration from the season of Spring and learn to trust your capacity to thrive. Develop a contemplative relationship with the grounding wisdom of equine facilitated reflection. Contact at robinafinowich@gmail.com
Or at Cheryl@incouragecoach.com