Don Appel, Counseling for Individuals and Couples

02/19/2025

Happiness is a journey , not a destination .

Happiness is a mirage .
Strive for a meaningful life and you will be on the path to happiness .

02/06/2025

12/02/2024

My work has some strange satisfactions. I have received texts and emails from patients today wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving and saying that I’m a blessing from god. That I’ve helped them to change their lives . Yes, it feel good, but as a therapist I have to question why the are compelled to express such appreciation.

But it also feels good when a very repressed patient tells me to “F**k off!”. And I can say to myself , “That’s progress!”.

11/16/2024

Don’t let the election erode your relationships or marriage. This is a time to come closer, to recognize what is important in life. It does not mean to give up your political,positions, but to respect each other, espcecilly if you have been in a long term relationship.

09/30/2024

A classic “PEARLS BEFORE SWINE” strip that can’t be repeated too often.

05/16/2024

We are brought up with false expectation. When I start with new couples I say,”I would bet that at some time when you were a child someone, a mom, and aunt, a caregiver, Walt Disney, taught you that you would find your mate and live ‘Happily ever after.’ Now you wake up next to someone and you wonder ,’This is it? Where is my happily ever after.?’ And so you find yourself deeply hurt and disappointed and here you are in my office.”

So we often need to learn that reality is not a fairy tale, that reality has its pains and pleasures.

04/28/2024

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, CBT , many be helpful, but it has many drawbacks in my opinion. This is one:

04/23/2024

https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=122165080880070478&id=61552114347473

I stood in my bedroom doing my makeup when I heard my parents across the hall in the bathroom. My father was groaning in immense pain and luckily my mother was there to help him. I was a self-absorbed twenty-something at the time—bouncing back and forth between two men like a rubber ball. But this moment between my parents struck me.
My father moaned. “It’s okay, Chris,” my mother said to him. “I’m here.”
That was the start of my father’s painful side effects from his prostate cancer years prior—something that would only get worse with time.
As I leaned toward the mirror, slipping mascara onto my lashes, I heard more grumbling from my father. I froze. I was stuck in their moment with no place to go. I heard a clank in the bathroom. A mess was made out of my father’s control. My mother would be the one to clean it up. “I’m so sorry,” my dad said.
“It’s okay, Chris,” my mom said. “I’m here.”
After I was done with my makeup, I sat on my bed with the door cracked open. While I was nervous about my dad’s health, tears fell onto my jeans because I finally realized something—THIS is marriage.
Marriage isn’t found at the big wedding, the trendy date nights, or even hours spent together on the couch watching Netflix. Marriage is found in the darkness—with one spouse helping the other during a time that would be humiliating to share with anyone else.
As young girls and boys, we watch movies and read stories about happy endings, blissful beginnings, and comedic in-betweens. But true romance is found when two people need each other, are vulnerable with one another, and can wholeheartedly depend on one another during the darkest times in life.
I sat on my bed, and at that moment, I decided to stop bouncing. I wanted my future to look like my parents’—imperfect but beautiful. My parents’ marriage and my marriage have been full of dips and peaks, but witnessing the true love in their moment will forever keep reminding me that marriage is found in the toughest spots in life—even the bathroom.
Credit: Angela Anagnost-Repke, Writer

𝗖𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗵𝗼𝘁𝗼𝘀: https://besrilankan.com/users-shared-funny-photos-of-their-four-legged-friends-who-suddenly-found-out-that-they-had-to-visit-the-veterinarian-instead-of-going-to-the-park/

04/21/2024

Obviously more complex , but the kernels of truth are present in this cartoon.