Healing Minds

06/04/2025

🖤

05/19/2025

Grief is very sneaky. A sound. A scent. A song. A smile becomes tears.

05/13/2025

I wish more people understood that grief isn’t just being sad and crying.
Grief is being angry, being numb, being broken, and being everything in-between
Grief is so different for everyone and you just have to go thru the motions and roll with the punches.
When you’re grieving the loss of someone you grieve for what was and what will never be, grief also takes a big toll on your mental and physical health.
Grief is LOVE with nowhere to go.
Grief is trying to remind yourself that “this too shall pass”
Grief is forcing yourself out of bed to shower and eat.
Greif is isolating yourself
Grief is surrounding yourself with people and things to distract your brain from reality
Grief is ugly and rough, so if you cannot understand why people grieve so hard for so long and so deep consider yourself lucky to not understand

04/14/2025

02/07/2024

Month #2 of this New Year ~ Resolutions are said to last 3 months then p**f they’re over.
Write your goals down on a vision board, notebook or phone. Tell someone what your goal(s) is to give it life and accountability it works!!
Grieving & Mourning continue but so do you ~ what’s your goal? Exercise, alone time, visit family, staycation, art class, dance class, music talk to a friend or therapy. Healing is a process don’t compare yours to anyone else’s, one day at a time.

12/25/2023

La pérdida de un ser querido por lo general tiende a ser algo doloroso. Si esto ocurre durante la época navideña tiende a crear una capa adicional de vacío interno. El desánimo, la tristeza, irritabilidad, aislamiento, ira, apatía, culpabilidad, y muchos otros sentimientos nos agobian. Otros síntomas que puedes observar son cambios en tu apetito, dificultad durmiendo, problemas de concentración y baja energía. En estos momentos es importante que nos demos permiso de ser humanos y de sentir estos sentimientos. Ese es el primer paso en el proceso de curacion de esta pérdida. Y ciertamente es un proceso. El cual es único para cada persona pues está basado en el nivel de conexión que cada persona tenía con ese ser querido. Además la personalidad del individuo que sobrevive al que falleció, es otro factor importante. Este no es el momento de juzgar a otros por su manera de lidiar con la congoja. Ya sea un niño(a) o un envejeciente, todos tenemos una manera única de procesar esa pérdida.

Si tu círculo de amistades carece de una persona que tiene excelente destreza en escuchar, te recomiendo que busques ayuda de un profesional. Hablar con un terapista mental durante este periodo puede ser muy beneficioso.

Translation
The loss of a loved one usually tends to be painful If this occurs during the Christmas season it ends to create an additional layer of internal emptiness. Discouragement, sadness, irritability, isolation, anger, apathy, guilt, and many other feelings overwhelm us. Other symptoms you may notice are changes in appetite, difficulty sleeping, problems concentrating, and low energy. In these moments it is important that we give ourselves permission to be human and to feel these feelings. That is the fist step in the process of healing from this loss. And it certainly is a process. It is unique for each person as it is based on the level of connection that each person had with that loved one.
Furthermore, the personality of the individual who survives the one who died is another important factor. This is not the time to judge others fo their way of dealing with grief. Whether a child or an elderly person, we all have a unique way of procession that loss.

If your circle of friends lacks someone who is willing to listen, I recommend you seek professional help. Talking to a mental Health Professional during this period can be very beneficial.
Iris Arce-LCSW

12/23/2023

It’s here! It’s “the most wonderful time of the year…” and we are the smack dab in the middle of all the festivities of Christmas. Like every year, there is a bittersweet element to the holidays all depending on our losses, stress levels and circumstances which can make it the MOST emotionally challenging time of the year. I can still remember the first holiday season after the loss of my mother back in 1995 and the grief that was present throughout the gift giving and celebrations which remained for years to come. For many of us, we are going through other losses or major transitions such as a divorce, a separation, the loss of a career, a health reversal, or seeing your children struggle with a major life issue.

Whatever it may be, the holidays stir the pot of our wonderful memories as well as our painful wounds. The holidays also remind us of our current stressors, i.e., financial setbacks. It also doesn’t help that in the modern world a holiday can take on a shallow, mostly consumeristic tone that further makes the season shallow and empty. As a counselor, I would like to offer a brief word of encouragement and a few suggestions that may help us navigate this season successfully and meaningfully. In other words, in a way that is psychologically flexible, adaptive and even joyful!

Here is a series of questions that can help us contact the sometimes unexpected power hidden in our greatest pain. These questions are designed to counter the tendency our minds have to treat emotional pain and distress as inherently toxic and to be avoided at all cost, which, research has shown, only tends to increase the very distress we are avoiding. In other words, we struggle to feel better during the holidays with substances, frivolity and for some of us opting out of gatherings and self-isolating to avoid pain becomes our strategy, consciously or unconsciously. Either way they are called Emotion Control Strategies which serve to keep us from paying attention to our own lives and becoming fully engaged with our purpose and calling. Below are the questions and in parenthesis a brief example)

Take some time with a journal and reflect and then write down your responses to the following questions.

1. What are the most painful thoughts, feelings, emotions, or memories that are coming up for me today or right now?
(Sadness, grief, loneliness, abandonment, memories of…)

2. Who or what do each of these reveal about what is really important to me, or who I treasure or that really matters uniquely to me? What do they reveal about what I really value in life?
(family, closeness to others, a few close relationships, being around people I can trust)

3. What values and qualities of character, fruits of the Spirit, ways of being and doing come up that I admire and want to see evolve in my own character, even in my distress?
(being there for others, self sacrifice, love, kindness… all qualities I treasure to this day that my mother demonstrated powerfully)

4. Even with these challenges and with this grief, what are a few practical and specific actions I could do to bring them into my life within the next few weeks. Things that I can do that are specific, measurable, time-bound, reasonable, and attainable.
( I could schedule a get together with my aunt, visit my uncle in New Jersey who I rarely see, I could call my uncle,…)

5. Choose at least three or four of these activities and place them into your calendar as a goal for this season.
Saturday: December 16th call my uncle and ask when I can stop by
Tuesday December 12th send out a text to all my cousins to see if we can meet in the city for…
Friday: December 15th take my niece to the Christmas show that I know she wants to see


6. At the end of each week, reflect on the difference these activities have made or what you could do differently.
( It went really good, I woke up really down on Friday but thinking of the event that evening helped and my niece was so excited and my brother and his wife were so encouraged by it all)

Think of this as a personal experiment and approach it in a spirit of curiosity and be gentle with yourself. Remember not to beat yourself up if you happen to miss a goal or if it isn’t quite exactly what you pictured. This is about shifting out of a passive and defeated position into an aware and engaged position. In other words, this is what the Apostle Paul meant when he wrote Philippians 4:8 to the church at Philippi and to us all!

For those of us in the household of faith in Christ, this is the calling which allows us to take the worst the world can unleash and allow it to transform us into something more than we were before. To all who would like to join in this experiment, may it bring you new insights and even new meaning that will last your lifetime. If so, you can allow this reflection to become a life-changing habit that can last well beyond the holidays!
TRUST THE PROCESS and you can do this!
Antoine Lee, LMHC, LPC

12/22/2023

I lost my father 26yrs ago. He was an imposing man. He was the center of our family. The rock that we all stood on. He was strict, but also loving. I miss him as much today as I did right after we lost him. I wish he was here to see his legacy, his great grandchildren and how we have progressed.
I allow myself to grieve, to miss him and allow myself to still cry over the loss. Time has not erased the love, neither can it erase the grief. It doesn't hurt as much because I've changed my focus from the loss to what I gained having him as a father. Through the memories I am able to laugh as well as cry. He was the best during the holiday season. There were so many gifts that you could barely walk into the Livingroom. My mother would cook all of our favorite foods. My family would get together and eat, play games and enjoy one another. We still do, and he is right there with us. We talk about him, we share memories, good and bad. We grieve and laugh together.
When shared grief becomes more bearable. I will always miss his physical presence, but I keep him close to my heart.
Valerie Gibson~ Mental Health Coach

12/21/2023

The Holidays are bittersweet, one year I'm sad, another I'm joyful, melancholy or very thoughtful. Reminders come by way of music, tv shows (mostly classics) traditions, familiar foods that I ate long ago, families bring back happy or sad memories.
How do I manage, I keep busy with friends, family or serving others, talking helps, crying, journaling or just alone time.
You may dread the Holidays and the events that take place and that's okay. You have to decide if you'll go to that party, put up a tree, buy gifts, visit your family. Whatever your choice it's best to have a plan, connect with someone, talk about your (lost) loved one(s), don't fantasize (if they were here then_____) it only makes one depressed and last manage expectations (if I drink it won't hurt so much) it will only magnify your emotions.

Others will also share their stories and I ask that you share or comment as needed this is our page for support, advice and to educate.

My apologies for the delayed post....It's been awhile but we are back!

The Holidays are bittersweet, one year I'm sad, another I'm joyful, melancholy or very thoughtful. Reminders come by way of music, tv shows (mostly classics) traditions, familiar foods that I ate long ago, families bring back happy or sad memories.
How do I manage, I keep busy with friends, family or serving others, talking helps, crying, journaling or just alone time.
You may dread the Holidays and the events that take place and that's okay. You have to decide if you'll go to that party, put up a tree, buy gifts, visit your family. Whatever your choice it's best to have a plan, connect with someone, talk about your (lost) loved one(s), don't fantasize (if they were here then_____) it only makes one depressed and last manage expectations (if I drink it won't hurt so much) it will only magnify your emotions.

Others will also share their stories and I ask that you share or comment as needed this is our page for support, advice and to educate.

Merry Christmas & a Peaceful New Year to you all 🎄