Jodi Frey, MFT

08/15/2023

It takes active effort to keep a relationship strong. Ordinary life stressors take a toll, so you have to set aside time and energy to replenish your commitment to each other.

Why neglect is a silent relationship killer and how to prevent it.

08/12/2023

Not all of the ways in which we deal with anxiety are helpful to us in the long term. When we evade discomfort, we deny ourselves a lot of opportunities and teach ourselves that we're weaker than we are.

Do you avoid things that cause you discomfort or anxiety?

08/10/2023

A person's relationship with their spouse should be one of, if not the most important relationships they have. But it's impossible for one person to provide all of another person's social life, and to give ourselves to our partners, we must also cultivate other parts of ourselves to give.

Jodi Frey, MFT provides counseling and therapy services for individuals, couples and families in and around Thousand Oaks, CA.

08/04/2023

There are lots of effective ways that people with depression can achieve lasting recovery, but most of them aren't immediate. When we need to feel better right away, there are simpler things we can do on our own.

9. Be patient with yourself.

08/01/2023

It's important to be open about things that bother you. But it will be more productive to talk about your own feelings instead of presuming to know what your partner thinks.

Jodi Frey, MFT provides counseling and therapy services for individuals, couples and families in and around Thousand Oaks, CA.

07/27/2023

It can be hard to ask for help if we don't think that it's right to share burdens or that our own time is valuable. But finding more efficient ways of dealing with problems is essential for preserving our energy for the things and people who really need us.

How to let yourself get things done the easier way.

07/24/2023

One of the most important ways to keep a marriage strong is for the couple to continue dating each other. Setting aside time for new activities will keep you excited to be with each other.

Jodi Frey, MFT provides counseling and therapy services for individuals, couples and families in and around Thousand Oaks, CA.

07/21/2023

It's hard to summon the motivation to do things with depression, but if we do them anyway, we'll often feel the natural reward. This will make it easier to summon the motivation in the future.

Jodi Frey, MFT provides counseling and therapy services for individuals, couples and families in and around Thousand Oaks, CA.

07/18/2023

When we're not communicating, we make up our own explanations for why our partner is doing something or feels a certain way. By making a point of communicating regularly, we can prevent this drift from happening.

Jodi Frey, MFT provides counseling and therapy services for individuals, couples and families in and around Thousand Oaks, CA.

07/15/2023

We often feel shame for reasons we wouldn't be as harsh on someone else for. Taking a more distant perspective on ourselves can help us to deal with our situation more reasonably.

New research shows writing self-compassionate letters may reduce shame.

07/13/2023

It's hard to admit to a mistake when doing so causes us to feel threatened. However, when we develop greater awareness of our feelings, we often realize there is no real reason to fear.

Jodi Frey, MFT provides counseling and therapy services for individuals, couples and families in and around Thousand Oaks, CA.

07/08/2023

Just because our problems are real doesn't mean that everything we think about them is helpful. Part of getting a better hold on our feelings is learning to recognize when they are prompting us to focus on things we can't control or if nothing would actually satisfy them.

Jodi Frey, MFT provides counseling and therapy services for individuals, couples and families in and around Thousand Oaks, CA.

07/06/2023

Couples counseling is meant to help people become better at expressing their needs. But part of being a better communicator also means being more aware of what someone you're close to is trying to express when they're struggling. http://jodifreymft.com/

07/04/2023

We hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th of July! Celebrate our nation's independence with friends and family.

Share your favorite Fourth of July memories in the comments below.

07/01/2023

Even when couples are successful at co-parenting, their relationship with each other may be rocky. Although it makes sense to prioritize a baby, counseling can help you to maintain a better bond with your partner, as well.

Is your relationship ready for the transition to new parenthood?

06/28/2023

Overcoming insecurity requires us to recognize when we're being held back by false beliefs about ourselves. This requires both introspection and a willingness to seek new experiences.

Insecurity does not discriminate and can affect everyone.

06/23/2023

Demonstrating that we're listening is key to effective communication. These don't have to be huge moments, they can just be small ones that are practiced regularly.

The gift of listening and showing appreciation.

06/20/2023

Self-criticism won't lead to improvement if it isn't based on self-compassion. Feeling compassion for ourselves is a habit that we may need to cultivate intentionally.

Developing positive mental habits helps maintain outward behavior change.

06/18/2023

We wish a happy Father's Day to all the great dads and father-figures out there!

06/15/2023

Communication is critical to every relationship, but it's impossible to ever know for sure what someone else thinks. To give the best of ourselves, we also have to cultivate our own sense of self-worth.

Never knowing for sure might actually be OK.

06/12/2023

Resilience isn't something we have or don't have; it's something we cultivate through intentional habits. Part of that includes being more mindful of our own needs and what we have to do for ourselves to fulfill them.

Taking care of oneself supports mental health and fitness.

06/09/2023

We have a lot of feelings attached to our shared resources, so communicating openly in a relationship includes honesty about money. This is one of the most important areas where couples build trust.

How to navigate conflicts and create healthy financial relationships.

06/06/2023

Behaviors that make us feel safe when we suffer from anxiety may reduce stress in the moment, but they can also reinforce the preconception that we can't handle ordinary challenges. Ultimately, we have to reduce our reliance on these behaviors to consistently feel well.

Safety behaviors reinforce anxiety and can interfere with a fulfilling life.

06/03/2023

Relationships thrive when both partners' needs are being met. If there's a problem, it's not because the need is wrong, but because it's unexpressed or misunderstood.

It's how you try to get those needs met that causes problems.

05/31/2023

If you feel anxious about public speaking, there are ways in which you can try calming yourself down. But something we can work with you on is turning that feeling into excitement, instead.

Strategies to help you prepare to speak confidently in front of an audience.

05/29/2023

Today, we pay tribute to the courageous men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice to protect our freedom and uphold the values we hold dear. On this Memorial Day, let us take a moment to remember and express our heartfelt gratitude to those who have selflessly served this great Nation.

05/27/2023

Even a good relationship needs maintenance. Rough patches and disagreements are normal, which is why counseling can help couples in lots of circumstances.

2. "Happy couples don’t fight."

05/24/2023

Social anxiety may feel overwhelming, but we can improve our self-confidence by cultivating a different mindset. We'll help you practice reframing your contributions as vital.

Remember that self-disclosure makes you more likeable, not less.

05/19/2023

Protesting louder or escaping an argument by giving an insincere apology won't solve a problem. Instead, we must work together to find what is underlying the conflict.

Jodi Frey, MFT provides counseling and therapy services for individuals, couples and families in and around Thousand Oaks, CA.

05/16/2023

Calm isn't the only good feeling. Part of improving mental health includes cultivating feelings like excitement and joy.

4. Enjoy other people's successes.

05/14/2023

Wishing a happy Mother's Day to all the great moms and mother-figures out there, from Jodi Frey, MFT!

05/12/2023

The ways in which we protected ourselves from trauma may have been sensible at the time. But they often hold us back later and becoming aware of them helps us break free of them.

It’s crucial to identify, evaluate, and revise probably outdated defenses.

05/11/2023

You won't get what you want if you don't ask for it. In a relationship, we often hold back out of fear of burdening the other person, but this ultimately leaves both people feeling unfulfilled.

Always watering down what you really want eventually leads to regret.

05/08/2023

Anxiety fatigues us in a way that makes it much harder for us to make decisions, resulting in more anxiety. However, there are often changes we can make to our lifestyle to feel more rested, and break free of the anxiety-fatigue cycle.

Examining the relationship between anxiety and fatigue.

05/06/2023

Sometimes, couples replay the same argument over and over because it isn't addressing the real problem. In those cases, it may actually be something deeper about the way they expect to relate to each other based on past experience.

They may be fights we never felt safe having with our parents.

05/05/2023

We wish you a festive Cinco de Mayo, from Jodi Frey, MFT!

05/05/2023

PTSD is often associated with behavior that is reckless and self-destructive, consciously or not. This is an area where behavioral therapy is especially helpful.

Practical methods of saving us from ourselves.

05/03/2023

Depression sometimes causes us to catastrophize and personalize. With counseling, we can learn to resist those cognitive distortions and resist thinking poorly of ourselves for faulty reasons.

Depression-prone people tend to look through a glass darkly.

05/02/2023

People who are in relationships with people who are recovering from trauma often benefit from support, as well. Clear communication is especially important.

Being with someone who has trauma can be challenging; what to know and do.

04/28/2023

Trauma sometimes results in cognitive distortions that sabotage us. These distortions tend to follow certain patterns that we can learn to guard against.

Self-defeating beliefs can quickly devolve into self-sabotage.