Still Waters Counseling

08/23/2020

Loneliness increases risk of memory loss or dementia among older people, and experts warn that isolation during quarantine may make this worse.

03/28/2020

Here are a couple of resources I learned of this past week for finding services for seniors: National Council on Aging www.ncoa.org, Hunger hotline 1 866 348 6479 and aging resources elder care locator 800 677 1116.

NCOA is a respected national leader and trusted partner to help people aged 60+ meet the challenges of aging. Explore everything NCOA has to offer for professionals, older adults, caregivers, and advocates.

03/18/2020

I want to take a minute to talk about the current stress and anxiety that we are all feeling during this crisis. There are a few things we can do to help support our own mental health.
1) look for ways to connect with others within the confines of the recommendations...use the technology that we have available such as facetime or video call.
2) look for things in your life that you have control over and can do with this sudden slowing down of life. We can look at this as an opportunity to do things that otherwise would not be done. Could be a time to connect with our families
3) dont forget about your physical health..get outside go for a walk notice the beauty of spring.
4) finally remember that this is time limited and will come to an end.

04/13/2019

It truly matters NOT if you say negative things in your own head or are standing in front of someone who is saying these things to you .....The emotional response is identical. So be kinder to yourself as you would not tolerate another to speak to you in the manner you are speaking to yourself.

When we screw up or fall down, many of us talk to ourselves in ways that we would never talk to someone we love and respect.

You're such an idiot!
You're so stupid!
WTF were you thinking???

Talking to ourselves from self-love and self-respect is a practice. I used to feel super self-conscious and vulnerable saying kind things to myself: "It's ok. Everyone makes mistakes. You're going to be ok." But I'm getting better.

And, it's an amazing thing to model to our children. It's better for my kids to hear me walking around saying weird and loving things to myself when I drop a ball, than to hear me berating myself and copy that behavior.

Stay kind, brave, and awkward, friends!

04/12/2018

01/19/2018

I love this because it reminds me..." grief is not a problem to be solved but simply an expression of love for something so precious that is lost." It is a process to be experienced and cannot be rushed or bypassed. It will sit and wait until tended.

Grief is not a problem to be solved or resolved. Rather, it’s a process to be lived through in whatever form and amount of time it may take.

10/28/2017

All too often those who have lost a loved one get messages that they need to move on with life. I often wonder if people say these things because they are uncomfortable with their grief? It is far more helpful to the griever to enter into their story without judgment or notions about how they should be. This is truly what helps heal a grieving heart.

I spoke to a grieving father today who said that others were pressing him "to move on" and asserting that his ongoing grief for his beautiful son who died, because he cries a few times a week and because he keeps his son's photos on his desk at work, is "excessive" and "abnormal." One of his supervisors even suggested it would be better for him to "put all that away" now. It's been almost a year since his son's death.

This entire scenario is too-often repeated in the world of those grieving catastrophic loss, and it's bu****it. I invited him to, "Please, consider taking back what is yours: your grief belongs to your broken heart and is a manifestation of your deep love looking for a home to enact itself."

After our discussion, he decided he was going to practice what I like to call "psychological Teflon", letting ridiculous and mindless comments and judgments like this slip off him. And he's going to practice taking what is, rightfully, his as James' father.

It's his right as a man, as a father, and as a human being. And it's your right too. Those who breach this right are disconnected from what is really important. They may be too focused on superficialities, valuing economics and productivity over compassion, connection, and integrity.

Call them on it. Tell them this:

To mourn that which we love deeply, and then lose, is a basic human right. To dispute this right is a breach of both that love and our basic humanity. - Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

And then leave them your copy of my book on their desk with a note that says, "Please read: This will help make you a more compassionate person, thus a better person."

My book:
https://www.amazon.com/Bearing-Unbearable-Love-Heartbreaking-Grief/dp/1614292965

Become a better therapist or nurse, physician, social worker, hospice provider by become certified in Compassionate Bereavement Care - next offering is March 1-4, 2017 in Sedona. You can apply here certificate.missfoundation.org

07/22/2017

(And a 4 step plan to move through your grief.)

06/04/2017

Meditation is so important in any healing process. It teaches us awareness. We are becomming a society of distractions. Diatractions dont heal anything. In fact distractions often make matters worse because now you are no longer aware of the problem and how it is impacting you and the world around you. We can not heal without first being aware. This is a great explanation on practice. Make a commitment to yourself practice. The best way to implement a new habit is to attach it to something you do everyday already. For example you can add meditation to your grooming ritual daily. ~

05/05/2017

. Want to know what you can do to help your friends, family, and colleagues who have lost a loved one to su***de? Stop saying he or she

05/05/2017

If you struggle with a fear of rejection this is an awsome talk on overcoming it!!

Jia Jiang adventures boldly into a territory so many of us fear: rejection. By seeking out rejection for 100 days -- from asking a stranger to borrow $100 to requesting a "burger refill" at a restaurant -- Jiang desensitized himself to the pain and shame that rejection often brings and, in the proce...