11/17/2025
Why We Must Stop Pathologizing Difference
Differences are not deficits. Yet for too long, we’ve been told that ways of being outside the dominant norm are “maladaptive,” “noncompliant,” or worse — evidence of a problem needing to be fixed.
But the truth is: differences don’t need to be treated — they need to be supported.
Take eye contact, for example:
Someone avoiding eye contact isn’t broken or antisocial. They’re communicating in their own authentic way. The goal is not to force eye contact — it’s to support people in feeling safe without it. To help them advocate for themselves if someone tries to push a norm that isn’t theirs.
When we pathologize difference, we create harm.
We teach people that who they are is wrong. We fuel shame, anxiety, and disconnection. We create problems that didn’t exist.
Instead, let’s reframe.
Let’s shift from treatment to support. From “fixing” to embracing.
From forcing assimilation to honoring identity.
Because the real goal is not compliance.
It’s connection with integrity — helping people navigate a world that doesn’t always accommodate them, while keeping their identity intact.
This is what true inclusion looks like.
Not making people fit into a mold — but reshaping the world to honor everyone’s way of being.
