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"From the way your heart sounds, I would bet you're in afib, let's get an EKG." BAM, knock out. Show of hands when you ...
11/13/2014

"From the way your heart sounds, I would bet you're in afib, let's get an EKG." BAM, knock out. Show of hands when you get that fist pump in the office! Unnnhh, oh yeah!

Love a good cyst removal in the morning, not as fun for my prego medical assistant....
11/11/2014

Love a good cyst removal in the morning, not as fun for my prego medical assistant....

Thought this patient was here for 'appendix' but really needed her Adipex refilled. Whaaaa?
07/30/2014

Thought this patient was here for 'appendix' but really needed her Adipex refilled. Whaaaa?

07/30/2014

Seeing a patient and I'm refilling her adderrall and her boyfriend says, "I had that before when I was on it." I don't know if I was in a fighting mood but I repeated what he said chuckled and added, "that makes no sense." He just kept on going, concerta, strattera, been on all them befores. Remember that comedian - here's your sign.

07/18/2014

While considering my workup for a patient with malaise and weight loss she mentions that the other day she was attacked by a swarm of "Asian Mosquitoes." Of course my mind wandered to how one would know they were Asian - pointed hats, slanted eyes, fondness for karaoke.....but I snapped back to reality and reassured her no cases of west nile for our area.

Results of a shave excision....not bad for an awkward area.
07/04/2014

Results of a shave excision....not bad for an awkward area.

04/30/2014

781.1 Ageusia, going to have to remember that one for scrabble. But patient with complete loss of taste suddenly for a week now. Always appreciate these "House" moments in the office. Fun!

04/30/2014

There is data that is over ten years old that shows second and third generation cephalosporins have no cross reactivity with penicillin allergic patients. So why do I have to keep telling pharmacists that it's ok when I prescribe these drugs. Are they not teaching this stuff in pharmacy school?

04/17/2014

So this rapper cuts off his johnson and jumps off a second story in su***de attempt.
So you want to jump from a high enough height to make sure you don't live in the end. But you don't want to jump from too high that you have too much time to think or feel the pain of your dismemberment.
EMS 35: Hey Steve, we're at county general with the Victim (p***s) where the heck are you guys.
EMS 62: Uhh we went to St. Mary's with the perp . . .
EMS 35: SOB Dude!
EMS 62: Radio the ER, gonna need urology . . . . maybe Gyno
(Doh)

Joking aside, hopefully this individual gets the help he needs.

04/16/2014

Patient died this morning from sepsis after a brief and overwhelming 1 1/2 month battle with metastatic colon cancer. The patient was resistant in getting her work up for this nausea she was having this year.

Sometimes our fear of what we might learn and face hinders our ability to cope, to push through obstacles. We learn about ourselves and others when we expose ourselves to what we were avoiding. Growth of our spirit comes from success AND failures.
Peace to those who lost loved ones too early, and those facing unexpected adversity....

04/16/2014

Disgruntled family of my patient in nursing home questioning my treatment.... sigh....I took a lot of deep breaths and was polite and professional.
Inside my head I was screaming: Back the F up and go to F-ing medical school and do what I do and then you can have a du***ss opinion about what I do. I have a hundred unimportant things I could be doing instead of wasting time here.
I left them blank faced and jaw dropped - Me: "I want you to feel comfortable about the care your grandmother is receiving so I think it would be best if you find another doctor for her." Exit.

How bad are your shin splints?
04/14/2014

How bad are your shin splints?

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