The Bort Balloon

The Bort Balloon Have an unwanted bun in the oven? Get rid of it at 1,500 feet!

As the foremost authority on launching unplanned fetalnoids from 3000 feet, we offer our appreciation to United States A...
07/15/2025

As the foremost authority on launching unplanned fetalnoids from 3000 feet, we offer our appreciation to United States Attorney General, Pamela Jo Bondi.

We couldn't get them all in utero, so here's to you Pam, helping to protect those who went after them once they could walk.

Is this patent pending?
10/05/2024

Is this patent pending?

Thanks to our dedicated staff, we here at Bort Balloon have strived for reducing our carbon footprint by utilizing the w...
10/14/2023

Thanks to our dedicated staff, we here at Bort Balloon have strived for reducing our carbon footprint by utilizing the waste products from our ariel-bortion-procedures as natural fertilizer. As you can see by our results, we're taking big steps towards going Green, and it's going to be bountiful harvest this Autumn.

~ BB

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Trenton, NJ

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