10/02/2020
Excellent writing by Dr. Lawrence Wentworth, LP on treatment for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse utilizing EMDR.
*Long Post Alert*
EMDR A Treatment for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse
By Lawrence T. Wentworth, Ph.D. LP, EMDR Certified Therapist and Approved EMDR Consultant
What is EMDR?
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is an evidence-based psychotherapy model for the treatment of trauma. Francine Shapiro, Ph.D. began developing and validating EMDR in 1988. Since then, there have been thousands of peer-reviewed studies supporting its efficacy.
It happened so long ago, why can’t I just get over it?
The theory behind EMDR suggests that traumatic memories are often trapped in a neural network holding the original images, thoughts, and bodily sensations of traumatic events. With trauma, the past IS present.
Traumatic neural networks are often trapped in the right hemisphere of our brains which process fight, flee or freeze responses that help us survive. They often do not connect to other parts of the brain that are logical and know the present date or even how old we are now. It is common for clients to say things like, “I know I’m safe now, but...” or "I know it wasn’t my fault, but...” These are classic disconnects between the logical part of our brain that “knows” things and the emotional part of our brain that “feels” things and is stuck in survival mode and frozen in the past.
Past traumatic memories are often not responsive to traditional talk therapy or to being shamed by family and friends, “You should be over this by now.” In fact, this makes things worse for survivors. You may get some temporary relief from traditional talk therapy, but this often does not lead to deep or lasting healing or relief.
Neural networks can be triggered at any time by any stimuli, like a smell, a scene in a movie, a body sensation. Once triggered we can regress and feel exactly like we did during the time of the victimization, e.g., small, helpless, frozen etc. For example, a male client of mine went to his parents' home in another state for Thanksgiving. Once there, he was surprised to see his uncle who s*xually abused him from age 11-14. Due to his shame and self-blame, he never told anyone except me his therapist, some 20 years later. At the Thanksgiving table seated across from his uncle, he froze and felt exactly like he did at age 11. Even though he had a master's degree in engineering and supervised many others at work, he could not move or speak in that moment and started having intense nausea. That same nausea he felt each time his uncle abused him.
Our brains, like our bodies, are wired to heal.
Most of us have had the experience of being upset by something small and then getting a good night's sleep and waking up no longer feeling bothered by the thing that seemed so big the night before. In these cases, our brains have processed the event during our sleep and stored it into long term memory so we can learn from this. An EMDR therapist stimulates and facilitates this natural healing mechanism that we all share.
What can I expect from EMDR therapy?
Most of my male clients love EMDR. There is a beginning, middle and end to the protocol. Often clients gain relief very quickly. Many generally men hate talking about their abuse experiences and feel that spending hours in the vague field of talking about emotions makes no sense to them and brings them little relief. One of the beauties of EMDR therapy is that you do not have to talk about the, often shameful, details of their traumatic memories in order to heal.
Most EMDR therapists will spend some initial time teaching and “installing” a Secure Place to go to in your mind and help you to calm down if you get over activated. They will also develop container metaphors for you to put things away in during unfinished processing sessions, so you never leave their office upset or overwhelmed.
A typical EMDR session involves asking you to think of one of your worst memories and including the worst picture, emotions, and bodily sensations associated with this memory. Holding this memory in mind you will be asked to keep one foot in the present and one foot in the past in order to view the past from an adult perspective. Then the therapist might move their fingers back and forth in front of your eyes-moving the memory from your right brain hemisphere to your left and back and forth asking them just to observe what goes by the window of their mind. This triggers our natural healing response and leads to increasingly adaptive ways of thinking and feeling about the past.
Tracking with your eyes is a reflex and taxes the working memory at the same time. Some clients prefer bilateral tones in their ears with a headset or tapping on their knees from side to side. This is all personal preference. While we do not fully understand the exact mechanism at work here, some theories suggest eye movements in EMDR replicate those in REM sleep that help us to process difficult material from our waking lives. Of course, in many trauma survivors, REM sleep is often disrupted by frequent nightmares and nighttime flashbacks.
The first thing clients often notice is that the vividness of a visual memory will begin to degrade, making it harder to remember the visual details. One client said after an initial EMDR session, “ I used to see these really disturbing and intrusive images right in my face about what happened to me. Now, when I think of the incident it seems much further away and much harder to even picture. I thought this was a bunch of woo woo stuff, but this therapy really works.”
Another male client stated: “I’ve been in talk therapy for years and had nightmares about my abuse every night. Since doing EMDR I no longer have nightmares.”
Then the negative beliefs that you carried about the abuse and about yourself will start to transform into more positive and adaptive ideas on their own. For example, during processing, one gentleman shifted from “It was all my fault” to “Hey I was only 4 when that happened, and It couldn’t be my fault.” Finally, bodily memories start to shift and be processed to more calm states.
EMDR will process disturbing information from the past, present and future. You will be asked to come up with a goal phrase as to what you would like to believe about yourself. For example, “I survived and learned from this.” EMDR will be used to strengthen this belief once the past memories have been desensitized and reprocessed.
How long will it take to heal from EMDR?
Sessions are typically from 60 to 90 minutes. It can even be conducted online via telehealth. Depending on how many traumas you have experienced, it may take months or years to heal. However, it is typically much faster than other forms of talk therapy. Some clients with a single incident trauma may find relief in just a few sessions. Others with more complex histories take longer.
Isn't this just hypnosis?
EMDR is not hypnosis. In fact, it is high-speed information processing while you are very alert active and awake. You will be in control at all times and will be instructed to hold your hand up to stop the processing at any time if you feel the need.
Healing is Possible
You don’t have to live with chronic nightmares, flashbacks, suicidal ideation, shame, anxiety or depression. No matter how severe ..your abuse you can heal and thrive in spite of what you endured. As a survivor of male s*xual and physical abuse, I underwent my own EMDR therapy. In the past, I could never sit with my back to the door in a restaurant. I had to see who was coming in and out at all times and could not truly relax. Now after EMDR, I am in a very different place and never even think about such things.
OK, I'm interested, how do I find an EMDR therapist?
At Wentworth and Associates, P.C., we have many trained and Certified EMDR therapists. You can see photos and read about these therapist on our site. You may also go to EMDRIA.org. There, you will be able to click on Find a Therapist. There are over 10,000 EMDR trained therapists to choose from. Find one that you click with. These therapists have undergone extensive training and consultation are known as certified EMDR therapists.
There is hope, you don't have to live this way and you can find true and lasting healing.
By Lawrence T. Wentworth, Ph.D. LP, EMDR Certified Therapist and Approved EMDR Consultant 10/1/2020
