02/10/2026
It was with great sadness that we heard of the passing of Jack Durham, pictured here. He was a man with a big heart, a big faith, and a big sense of humor. But also a man with a history of advocacy, standing up for what is right.
In 2021, TIHAN and the Center for Health and Hope presented our annual Leadership Award to Jack Durham and Jim Yancey. It’s an award for longtime advocacy and support for people living with HIV. Jim and Jack have a long history of activism, spending decades causing some “good trouble,” dating back to the actual Stonewall Riots.
Jim and Jack have been together for 23 years, and travelled to California to get married in 2008 when it became legal in that state. Each of them knew they were gay when they were growing up, at a time that this was not well accepted.
Jack grew up in Baltimore, and was blessed to have a mother who had gay friends. Her acknowledgment of knowing Jack was gay came on his 21st birthday, when she dropped off Jack at a local gay bar and encouraged him to meet people. The following year, Jack heard news that a group of le***an women, gay men, and trans activists were fighting back against the police who were raiding NYC’s Stonewall Inn. After hearing about the first night of riots, Jack and his friends jumped into their car, drove to NYC, and took part in the ongoing riots in front of the Stonewall Inn. They had experienced some of the same police tactics in Baltimore—police blackmailing owners of gay bars, and raiding their hangouts and arresting bar patrons. “We learned we always had to go out only with friends, never alone,” he remembers, “because the undercover vice cops were known for arresting people and accusing them of solicitation with no provocation whatsoever. They were just out to get us.”
Jack and his mom marched in the protest parade (later to be known as the pride march) on the two-year anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising. She carried a sign that read “My son is gay and that’s ok,” shocking local media. Public support from parents was still rare, and a picture of Jack and his mom made the television news, and Time magazine. The pastor of their Methodist church saw the media coverage, Jack recalls, and shortly thereafter made a point two Sundays in a row to condemn gay people from the pulpit. In the middle of the service the second week, Jack stood up, said a few words to the pastor, and walked out, leaving that church and the denomination. And his mom followed.
Jack had heard about the Rev Troy Perry, who had formed the first denomination to embrace gay people, a radical concept at that time, and he and his mom joined the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC). As the denomination grew, many of its churches were subjected to hate and violence. Both Jack and his mother would eventually become deacons in their own MCC churches.
With the appearance of AIDS in 1981, MCC congregations were among the first to set up ministries to help people with the disease. Jack and his mom participated in teams visiting people dying of AIDS in hospitals. “Some people thought we were crazy. We would go to their ridiculous extremes to gown up just to visit. We were there to hold their hands when no one else would. Someone had to.”
Jack’s stories abound: the origins of a scar on his head from a police baton at a bar raid, being followed and watched as a “gay subversive,” being arrested after chaining himself to the Liberty Bell to protest discrimination against gay people, protesting the murders of people killed because of their sexual orientation or gender expression, losing far too many friends to AIDS…. One of Jack’s favorite stories involves he and his mom meeting Anita Bryant at an anti-gay rally—apparently, she saw Jack and his mom at the rally and wanted to meet them, only to be told by Jack’s mom: “I’m only here to support my gay son, and what you are doing is wrong, and your quoting the Bible is wrong.” They were quickly escorted away from the famous anti-gay crusader.
When Jack and Jim met in Tucson in 2003, Jack introduced Jim to a welcoming congregation, the local MCC church. They found out about TIHAN, and started volunteering with TIHAN’s Poz Café lunch program for people living with HIV. They helped fundraise money for the church to help with TIHAN by having drag shows (“gender benders”). One of their social groups, the Bears of the Old Pueblo, also began participating in fundraising for TIHAN, with Jim and Jack and other bears donning drag to raise funds at Turnabout for TIHAN benefits. One of the most memorable performance for me was watching Jack in drag to raise funds, performing not as Jackie O (as in Jackie O’Nassis), but as Jackie Oh No!
Both Jack and Jim have remained very active supporters of TIHAN and key advocates for HIV awareness and support.
We grieve Jack’s passing, and send out love to Jim. Their love and support will live on forever in the hearts of those they’ve touched, and the impact they’ve made, even to people who may never meet them in person.
