11/04/2025
How to Identify If You’re Experiencing Reactive Abuse
Reactive abuse can happen to anyone experiencing intimate partner violence. This is the case, whether it is emotional abuse, verbal abuse, or physical violence. You may have an inkling that reactive abuse is what you’re experiencing.
Above all else, listen to your gut. If you think that your partner is exhibiting abusive behavior and using your reaction to maintain power over you, you are probably right.
That said, here are some signs of reactive abuse to look out for:
-They provoke you. Any abusive behaviors you exhibit are a response to theirs.
-The abuser expects you to take the abuse, but acts shocked and upset when you react.
-This is where blame shifting usually takes place; they may call you abusive for your response, regardless of what they did leading up to your reaction.
-You feel guilty and upset about reactive outbursts you did not know you were capable of. This can complicate your ability to detect reactive abuse, which is why education matters.
-You are experiencing negative physical or mental health effects. For example, reduced self-esteem.
